Where is your UM Football Fandom in the 5 Stages of Grief?

Submitted by alum96 on

Just curious where you folks stand in the 5 stages of grief right now?  Feel free to give your answer and speak your mind - its like the internet's MichiganFanAnonymous forum.

The 5 stages are:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

I know I have been in the small cabal of EMO (or as we call ourselves realists) peeps on the board so I viewed this staff with a more negative eye than many last year.  Like most I did pick up a little kool aid in August as we are all apt to do but the ND game (with a team down 6 players) turned me back to reality despite what the stats said.  That said I think the defense is the best part of the team despite the 31 pts given up that night...but the team did not pass the eye test to me.  It was the same as the 2013 team - when we plug one hole, another 2 spring up.

So I'd say for me, 2012 was bargaining.  I could explain away every loss - we didnt belong on the same field as Bama.  We lost to ND and OSU (#2, and #3 in the country).  Nebraska was due to Denard going down and not having a viable backup.  SC in the bowl was anyone's game - unlike VATech the prior year (where VATech looked faster and better) we looked pretty even with SC and either team could win.   All 5 losses bargained away.

Since I'm a realist at heart I dont have much depression - I sort of move quickly into acceptance from bargaining.  I will live a shorter life than many of you eternal optimists due to that per science. So that sucks.  But it helped me get thru 2013 much quicker.  I was shocked by Akron and UConn, and entered accpetance post PSU.  Wrong staff.  Even if  some good pieces on it (i.e. I'd keep Coach Heck no matter what)  Hoke is our Charlie Weiss - I said thag about 11 months to the tune of many downvotes.   So that was my acceptance. 

After tonight I still see a lot of anger out there (a bit surprising to me - we're past that no?)...some bargaining ...and some depression (not surprising) - but where are you now?  How does it compare to 3 weeks ago?  If you are holding out from acceptance what is keeping you in earlier stages?

(And no acceptance doesnt mean UM will suck for 20 years.  It means until we start over we dont have a chance to get back to a viable program. )

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AgonyTrain

September 20th, 2014 at 10:13 PM ^

Acceptance and terror. My father went to minnesota and was there for the glory years in the 60's when they were a dominant program. 50 years of horror followed. I graduated in 2000 and am worried I am watching michigan begin / continue to slide into irrelevancy

Joined: 11/04/2010

MGoPoints: 766

Orlando BlueM

September 20th, 2014 at 10:15 PM ^

I'm to the point where I wish I could stop caring, where I didn't feel the need to plan my Saturday around the game. I can't turn it off though. The main difference for me now is that I have a sense of dread about the program. During the RR years I always had hope and I always felt at least some excitement. The thrill is gone, and I'm not sure if we can get it back.

Joined: 09/19/2011

MGoPoints: 558

UMxWolverines

September 20th, 2014 at 10:21 PM ^

This program reminds me of the episode of The Office when Michael walks into the office and yells ''I DECLARE...BANKRUPTCY!'' Then Oscar goes into his office and says ''Hey just so you know, you can't just say bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.'' There are a lot of people in this program that need to realize that you can't just say ''This Is Michigan'' and spout of the number of championships all the time and expect anything to happen.

Joined: 03/01/2009

MGoPoints: 65309

BlueHills

September 20th, 2014 at 10:21 PM ^

Acceptance. This team hasn't passed the eyeball test since ND.

I can even accept that the B1G team with the best non-Conference win is Indiana. Now if you will please excuse me, I have some Hemlock to drink.

Joined: 10/31/2010

MGoPoints: 7466

Greg McMurtry

September 20th, 2014 at 10:22 PM ^

I picked a Utah win 27-24 in the guess the score thread, but this was a shitshow. I was not really angry during the game. It seems like this game exposed quite a few bad things with the team. It needs to be fixed. If heads need to roll, so be it.

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Joined: 02/25/2009

MGoPoints: 135442

taistreetsmyhero

September 20th, 2014 at 10:27 PM ^

Depression. I would prefer we de-emphasize sports and go the route of Chicago than keep putting out this trash. Only thing keeping my spark of fandom alive is the light of basketball at the end of the tunnel.

Joined: 08/08/2012

MGoPoints: 39396

blackstarwolverine

September 20th, 2014 at 10:27 PM ^

My OSU buddy sent me smack about the meltdown happening on MGOBlog; before this, I had no clue Michigan was igniting another tire fire against Utah. This year feels like an Arsenal year: plenty of promise and hope that overshadows the team's faults until losing illuminates how unrealistic expectations were. Will this team have a winning record this year? At first I thought losing to OSU, after Miller's injury, would be unacceptable. Now, I'm not even sure the team will have a winning Big Ten record.

Joined: 05/23/2014

MGoPoints: 1296

ontarioblue

September 20th, 2014 at 10:30 PM ^

And we weren't in the top 50 so based on rankings the results were in line. I just cannot remember when we were so irrelevant so early in the year. 2007 comes to mind but this feels worse.

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 16574

Bryan

September 20th, 2014 at 10:37 PM ^

I have given all caring that I have in the past 7 years, the 7 since graduation, and there's nothing left. I've tried so hard to care and I can't muster the energy anymore.

If this program isn't turned around quickly I don't know if I'll be back

The hardest part is that this truly break my heart. I want to care. I want to invest. I want to love football Saturday's again.

I'm tired and I'm only 29.

Joined: 07/10/2009

MGoPoints: 14777

Bando Calrissian

September 20th, 2014 at 10:46 PM ^

Our Michigan is gone, man. You're right. It's just gone. And I don't understand how it happened.

Don't you think it's a problem for Dave Brandon that us twenty-something alums are pretty much off the bandwagon? What happens in twenty years when the Athletic Department is trying to get cash to repair all of the facilities this guy is building for sports that will never pay for it themselves?

Joined: 07/02/2008

MGoPoints: 68096

funkywolve

September 20th, 2014 at 10:44 PM ^

I figured UM was in for a dogfight but when I left early in the 3rd quarter to go to my daughter's soccer game I wasn't the least bit depressed or angry.  After 7 years, I don't go into games thinking UM should win.  I go into games hoping UM will win.  When it doesn't happen, oh well. I guess that would be...apathy?

Joined: 10/08/2008

MGoPoints: 20176

Jevablue

September 20th, 2014 at 10:56 PM ^

Hoke has totally obliterated my expectations. This defense could win championships in most of the conferences out there with an average offense. If only...

3 points total against ND and now mighty Utah (at home!)?  

Painful acceptance, sure this probably sounds like phase 2 (Anger), but I never cursed once during this game, and I used to do that routinely, even during a victory. So I would say Acceptance, for sure.

Joined: 11/05/2011

MGoPoints: 2978

lmgoblue1

September 20th, 2014 at 11:05 PM ^

If you really"accepted" this shit you wouldn't be posting. My first game was in 1969 when I was 11. I graduated from Michigan in 1981. I will NEVER accept this shit.This isn't a life or death issue. Get off your pity party and KEEP putting the pressure on these buffoons. We WILL be GREAT again. Be a part of it. In something far more important than this, the great man and coach Jim Valvano said "NEVER Give up" .Do something about this shit.Keep posting and get ANGRY!

Joined: 10/27/2012

MGoPoints: 12380

You Only Live Twice

September 20th, 2014 at 11:11 PM ^

it doesn't have to be orderly progression from one stage to the next; the order may vary... someone may be in several stages at once...or regress to an earlier stage. 

What struck me the most about today was at the last 2 minutes of halftime.  The team was running onto the field and yet, there was no pause in the obnoxious piped in music.  In the old days there would have been quiet before the team came back on the field, there would have been anticipation, then there would have been roars from the crowd as the team took the field.  There was some applause, drowned out by the loudspeaker music.  It was odd to see the actual football team being treated as a second thought to the piped in canned crap.  In that moment I thought, this is what you've done Dave Brandon. 

Even replaying Bo's "The Team" speech over and over is beginning to sound hollow.  I'm going to stop before regressing too far into the anger stage.

 

 

Joined: 09/14/2013

MGoPoints: 9615

Filipiak1

September 20th, 2014 at 11:18 PM ^

Depression and acceptance...
My 10yr old son is trying to love Michigan with me. It's a tough sell in Lansing around all of this Spartan success... I keep telling him to be patient, but that's wearing thin.

Joined: 12/28/2013

MGoPoints: 1104

FatGuyLittleCoat

September 20th, 2014 at 11:27 PM ^

As I have grown older and realized the important things in life, I've just accepted sports (and my favorite teams) for what they are-entertainment that shouldn't be taken seriously. I've also watched a lot of mediocre teams (UM football and all Cleveland teams) and I've just come to accept and expect losses.

Joined: 07/05/2011

MGoPoints: 2004

BlueDragon

September 20th, 2014 at 11:27 PM ^

PSU 2013 was anger. that night was the angriest I have been since I graduated from M.

Didn't really bargain or get depressed, just apathetic. Now I am in a state of oneness with M football in this point in its life cycle.

Joined: 11/14/2010

MGoPoints: 21757

Yooper Blue

September 20th, 2014 at 11:50 PM ^

I didn't think I'd live long enough to say it, but it is true. Took my son to BWW to watch the game, and couldn't even muster up the usual anger as we watched the debacle. The soul dong punch doesn't even hurt anymore. On the positive side, I guess my health/blood pressure will be the better for it.

Joined: 01/14/2009

MGoPoints: 38

markusr2007

September 20th, 2014 at 11:55 PM ^

It is what it is.  Michigan should have won this game.  But you can't expect to win any football game while committing 4 turnovers. That's just asking for an ass-kicking.

I thought the defense played really well and held them to 286 total yards. Their star WR Dres Anderson had only 57 yards receiving. Utes had 81 total rushing yards.

We outgained them slightly, and rushed for 118 yards.

Utah is not a great team, but they were good enough to capitalize on mistakes.

I feel badly for the players.   They're going to have to pull together and stop making stupid mistakes (blown assignments and turnovers).

 

Joined: 10/21/2008

MGoPoints: 19372

Mblue96

September 21st, 2014 at 12:27 AM ^

A big part of me wonders if this isn't some sort of karmic payback for the Program being stuck in its ways for years and even decades longer than it should have. Possibly starting with when Mo was prematurely fired after his bad night in Southfield. He was the guy who actually was well on his way to modernizing M's offense. I actually believe had Mo not been fired he would have been as successful if not more so than Lloyd and he would have been more open to change and brought in fresh blood into the program. But Lloyd took over despite never being a serious HC candidate (Mo was Bo's choice despite Lloyd being on staff for years as well), won a NC in his 3rd year and then started taking a lot of "Bo-isms" and perverting them in the worst way. His teams continued to win and were rather acceptable but somehow left you wanting more. His offenses got more and more conservative and his staff lacked the same level of upward mobility that those of Bo (and even Mo) had. It was almost like he did not want assistants who would outshine him. I remember reading something years ago when Urban Meyer was HC at Utah that Meyer (while he was @ Bowling Green) reached out to Lloyd and asked to be brought in as OC under Lloyd and designated HC in waiting and meanwhile he would help modernize the offense. Of course Lloyd declined and Urban got offered at Utah and the rest is history. And it is also common knowledge that Jim Harbaugh wanted to be hired as QB coach under Lloyd but of course Lloyd went with Loeffler. And of course sidestepping Les Miles in 2007 as well. And yes, RR made a lot of mistakes here but he was treated so poorly that word is out that M is reserved for M-Men only. So I think a lot of where the program is now is the result of this perverse culture that needs to be washed out. Maybe where we are now is what it takes for this program to finally get past itself and move forward into the future.

Joined: 10/21/2009

MGoPoints: 101

EGD

September 21st, 2014 at 12:52 AM ^

Depression.
I like college football and want to have a good team to root for. But I can't just drop Michigan and pick some other team--it doesn't work that way when you grow up cheering for Michigan and then go to college there. I am envious of all the fans of other programs who either (i) actually win big games and compete for championships or (ii) can actually enjoy a 7-5 type of season because they haven't been conditioned to expect double-digit wins every year. I wish we didn't have a stubborn, old guard coach and a juvenile egomaniac for an AD. But that's reality, and it's a bummer.

Joined: 09/16/2009

MGoPoints: 35199

CoachBP6

September 21st, 2014 at 1:35 AM ^

Acceptance.  I have followed this program since 92.  I follow college football religiously and have unfortunately gotten used to this from Michigan.  We have not adapted to the new style of college football, and until we do, this is what we get.  

Joined: 12/18/2013

MGoPoints: 7967