Where is your UM Football Fandom in the 5 Stages of Grief?

Submitted by alum96 on

Just curious where you folks stand in the 5 stages of grief right now?  Feel free to give your answer and speak your mind - its like the internet's MichiganFanAnonymous forum.

The 5 stages are:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

I know I have been in the small cabal of EMO (or as we call ourselves realists) peeps on the board so I viewed this staff with a more negative eye than many last year.  Like most I did pick up a little kool aid in August as we are all apt to do but the ND game (with a team down 6 players) turned me back to reality despite what the stats said.  That said I think the defense is the best part of the team despite the 31 pts given up that night...but the team did not pass the eye test to me.  It was the same as the 2013 team - when we plug one hole, another 2 spring up.

So I'd say for me, 2012 was bargaining.  I could explain away every loss - we didnt belong on the same field as Bama.  We lost to ND and OSU (#2, and #3 in the country).  Nebraska was due to Denard going down and not having a viable backup.  SC in the bowl was anyone's game - unlike VATech the prior year (where VATech looked faster and better) we looked pretty even with SC and either team could win.   All 5 losses bargained away.

Since I'm a realist at heart I dont have much depression - I sort of move quickly into acceptance from bargaining.  I will live a shorter life than many of you eternal optimists due to that per science. So that sucks.  But it helped me get thru 2013 much quicker.  I was shocked by Akron and UConn, and entered accpetance post PSU.  Wrong staff.  Even if  some good pieces on it (i.e. I'd keep Coach Heck no matter what)  Hoke is our Charlie Weiss - I said thag about 11 months to the tune of many downvotes.   So that was my acceptance. 

After tonight I still see a lot of anger out there (a bit surprising to me - we're past that no?)...some bargaining ...and some depression (not surprising) - but where are you now?  How does it compare to 3 weeks ago?  If you are holding out from acceptance what is keeping you in earlier stages?

(And no acceptance doesnt mean UM will suck for 20 years.  It means until we start over we dont have a chance to get back to a viable program. )

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Bluemaizeaukee

September 20th, 2014 at 9:37 PM ^

Delusional for believing Hoke was the right guy for the program. Clearly he's not. I'll still watch the games hoping they'll win but realistically they haven't got a chance at winning the conference.

Joined: 01/26/2011

MGoPoints: 483

maizenblue87

September 20th, 2014 at 9:37 PM ^

Depression heading toward acceptance. I've been a fan since 1974 when I was nine years old. Grew up with Michigan football and the program meant unquestioned excellence. I have two degrees from UM. At least I had 34 years of great memories in my fandom before we went off the cliff in 2008. Unfortunately younger fans are getting shortchanged, not realizing what a great program we had. I'm sad and embarrassed for my great university.

Joined: 06/22/2011

MGoPoints: 6635

Soulfire21

September 20th, 2014 at 9:37 PM ^

I think acceptance honestly. We just aren't that good at football, and I think I accept it. Ill be to each home game, cheering, but knowing we aren't there. Honestly I've not felt so removed from football since I started at Michigan in 2008, maybe its a blessing in disguise.

Joined: 03/18/2010

MGoPoints: 22716

GoBLUinTX

September 20th, 2014 at 9:39 PM ^

I'd say apathy but I'd be lying.  I'll tune in next week with the slimmest hope they can pick themselves up.  I know deep down that won't happen.  The OL won't get the push they need to, capable though they may be.  Gardner will still stare down receivers and throw a moment too late or bail a moment to early.  The receivers will still run routes poorly getting little to no separation...but it won't matter because Gardner only ever has eyes for the primary.  Morris will still be Morris and if anything he has regressed over the last 12 months.  I mean how does that happen, he and Gardner now have a real QB coach and they can point at the Mikes and everything.

Oh well, unlike most contributors on this blog, I can still remember the heady days of 1970s.

So I have that going for me, and that's nice.

Joined: 12/02/2013

MGoPoints: 5895

Leonhall

September 20th, 2014 at 9:42 PM ^

I haven't felt like this since RR's last game vs PSU, I knew it was over for him after that, tonight, it is over for hoke. I have accepted the fact that for some damn reason we aren't good at football now. It sucks.

Joined: 06/14/2012

MGoPoints: 16430

joeismyname

September 20th, 2014 at 10:40 PM ^

I'm extremely mad and can hardly fathom watching these games, but we have something very wrong with are program when stuff like this is said about michigan football. Michigan has money.....go spend it. Brandon needs to figure this out or he needs to go.

Joined: 11/07/2011

MGoPoints: 1271

joeismyname

September 20th, 2014 at 10:42 PM ^

I'm extremely mad and can hardly fathom watching these games, but we have something very wrong with our fanbase when stuff like this is said about michigan football. Michigan has money.....go spend it. Brandon needs to figure this out or he needs to go.

Joined: 11/07/2011

MGoPoints: 1271

UofM Die Hard …

September 20th, 2014 at 9:43 PM ^

I tell myself these loses wont get to me but who am I kidding, they always do.

Fire Hoke now, promote Doug N. to HC for time being.  Get the god damn check book out to hire a REAL head coach.  John Harbaugh ....take the damn jet over there now.  

 

 

Joined: 03/10/2011

MGoPoints: 18283

Blumanji

September 20th, 2014 at 9:43 PM ^

I've started seriously following Liverpool for the last three seasons. I went to my first soccer game in Chicago this summer when the Reds were on their US tour.

I can tell you almost everything about Michigan football since 1990. I have an engineering degree from Michigan and played trumpet in the marching band. This will be the first season since 2000 that I will not attend at least one Michigan game. That sums up my stage of grief. 

Joined: 08/11/2010

MGoPoints: 601

BornSinner

September 20th, 2014 at 10:56 PM ^

You certainly have a knack for picking the most Michigan like team in the EPL to root for... no EPL title since the 80s... one semi-flukey Champion's League in the last decade... A part of the so called "Big 4" but tends to underperform year in and out and seemingly this year as well.. and the kicker... also clings to tradition like mad... lol

 

Joined: 09/20/2014

MGoPoints: 14672

Wolverine Devotee

September 20th, 2014 at 9:44 PM ^

I'm upset and I want a change. 

The next coach has the talent to come in and win. Praying it's Harbaugh or maybe the third time is the charm and they get Miles. 

But this can't go on much longer and I believe it won't--as long as Michigan gets a new HC.

They have the pieces. The schedule is a dream for a first year HC next year. Both rivalry games at home. Only tough part is having a new QB and starting the season on the road. 

However, who knows what the QB position is after today. The season is shot regardless so I say boot Hoke and Brandon, get a new AD and promote Nuss to interim HC. 

Joined: 06/29/2009

MGoPoints: 31528

blackstarwolverine

September 20th, 2014 at 10:00 PM ^

Not to get on you Wolverine Devotee, and I plead ignorance on football coaching, but why is Miles touted as a viable candidate? He seems to underachieve at times with the talent he has on his teams. I know he'll be an upgrade on Hoke, but is Miles that great of a coach? Just curious, not really trying to criticize or anything.

Joined: 05/23/2014

MGoPoints: 1296

Hoek

September 20th, 2014 at 10:32 PM ^

He has had some shitty loses but he also is coaching in the SEC, with the talent on this team and a good head coach like Les, we could run the Big Ten! Plus he was a thorn in Urbz side for years. Oh and he has won championships, and one more thing he is a Michigan man (i hate that term and how it is used out of context since Bo said it) to keep that group of fans happy!

Joined: 01/29/2010

MGoPoints: 14312

Erik_in_Dayton

September 20th, 2014 at 9:44 PM ^

Acceptance isn't quite the right word. I'm more detached. I watched the game as if it were happening to another team. I wasn't surprised or upset. I have neither hopes nor fears for the program. It's just a bunch of stuff that's happening, to paraphrase Homer Simpson.

Joined: 12/03/2008

MGoPoints: 59107

WolverineHistorian

September 20th, 2014 at 9:46 PM ^

I'm dead on the inside so I guess that would make it acceptance. If the 2006 version of me was told of all of the record lows that Michigan football would have over the next 8 years, I would not believe a single word of it. I'd say you were out of your mind.

Joined: 08/10/2009

MGoPoints: 55466

Tagg

September 20th, 2014 at 9:47 PM ^

Michigan has been a very average team for about 20 years. The last Rose Bowl won was in 1998, the non-conference record sucks, the Ohio State (yes OHIO STATE, not the stupid "Ohio" crap) record is shit and recent records also suck.

Some like to think this program has always been elite which it has not. Michigan has won 3 NC since WW2. By contrast ND has 7, MSU: 5, Ohio State: 6, Nebraska: 4, Miami: 5 (all since '83) and on and on. They've been good but to be elite you need to have more than 3 NC's in 60 years.

Joined: 09/02/2008

MGoPoints: 897

aplatypus

September 20th, 2014 at 9:47 PM ^

or maybe even some form of that and denial still with growing apathy. 

I mean, I don't get near mad anymore, I just laugh when they do something typically bad. Like today I was watching games with my dad and when we flipped it back to Michigan a little after the 2nd Gardner interception I said, "let's see if they've managed to screw up more." and then had a tiny flash of hope when I saw Morris out there and then first down! and another! and tiny bits of hope built up in me, and then he threw a horrible ball right to the wrong team. A year or two ago this would have been soul crushing. Today I just laughed and changed the channel not to go back again.

Joined: 11/02/2013

MGoPoints: 1735

Epic-Blue

September 20th, 2014 at 9:48 PM ^

All you apologist can fuck off! This shit show has to stop! Take the train back to Muncie!!! Get your old job back pumping gas in Muncie! I'm done with this fucking debacle! Amen!!! Firehoke.com

Joined: 10/06/2013

MGoPoints: 920

Wendyk5

September 20th, 2014 at 9:51 PM ^

This too shall pass. And in the meantime, I no longer look forward to Saturday like I used to. Oh the game is on? Maybe I'll watch it for a bit to see if we have a chance. No, not today? OK, I have other stuff I can do. 

Joined: 11/20/2008

MGoPoints: 67697

Naked Bootlegger

September 20th, 2014 at 10:33 PM ^

"No longer look forward to Saturday like I used to".  This nails my sentiment directly on the head. 

I will still watch games this year, but will probably record everything, watch on tape delay,  and fast-forward DVR if/when things get ugly.  I'm just so beaten right now.   I'm not excited at all about next week, and that makes me so sad.   If we even show a pulse against Utah, I'm still in.   But we didn't show a pulse after halftime.  

So I guess I'm at the acceptance phase.   Or depression.  I don't know.

 

Joined: 01/28/2011

MGoPoints: 34640

4godkingandwol…

September 20th, 2014 at 10:58 PM ^

... I used to get with friends every weekend to watch the game.  Now, we don't even make the effort, because we always end up depressed or angry afterwards.  All of us watch the games -- or at least the first half -- by ourselves.  We never speak of the game or the team except probably on this board anonymously.  

Joined: 08/06/2008

MGoPoints: 31309

Njia

September 20th, 2014 at 11:18 PM ^

On the bright side, my cooking has improved tremendously over the past few seasons. I made chicken saltimbocca a la romana for dinner this evening in lieu of watching the game. I used sage from my own garden, serrano ham (not prosciutto as serrano is a bit saltier) and friolano cheese. Made a pan sauce from the drippings, etc. Delicious.

Joined: 09/15/2009

MGoPoints: 35773

Voltron is Handsome

September 20th, 2014 at 9:55 PM ^

Love M football more than anything, but I am going to stop getting so excited for a new season. I will also be more objective. So sick of being let down.

Joined: 05/12/2014

MGoPoints: 3908

MGoblu8

September 20th, 2014 at 9:55 PM ^

Sadly, I'm at acceptance. When I see the look on my son's face (who just opened his new personalized #5 jersey yesterday and wants to wear it to bed) when I told him that they didn't win, I realized what a bummer this is. I like being optimistic, because he's just coming into his fandom. It's all new and awesome to him and he screams "Peppers!" every time he sees someone wearing #5. But you know what? We are who we are and who we are does not give you a reason for a lot of optimism. We haven't gotten jobbed by the refs. We can't blame it on bad luck or a play here or there that we wish we could have back. We're not very good as a team, though I still think we have a ton of talent. We are who we are.

Joined: 08/19/2010

MGoPoints: 7373

Bando Calrissian

September 20th, 2014 at 9:56 PM ^

I'm now just watching to see what's going to happen. It no longer has any impact on my life in any meaningful way. I've gone from completely obsessed and involved to just wishing the damn thing would be over already 90% of the time. Dave Brandon has lost me, Brady Hoke has lost me. I'm not even sure what Michigan Football is anymore. The program is completely unrecognizable from the program that left the field at the Citrus Bowl when I graduated in '08.

I'm not saying change is bad. But there's change, and then there's scorched-earth, leave no survivors change. The entire thing, top to bottom, is completely broken. And I'm pretty much convinced nothing will ever bring it back.

Meanwhile in East Lansing...

Joined: 07/02/2008

MGoPoints: 68117

An Angelo's Addict

September 20th, 2014 at 9:57 PM ^

Somewhere between depression and acceptance. I remember seeing people write it could always get lower after the ND game. Oh how they were right. Now I just wonder how much lower it can go? I guess complete disinterest in watching but I can't ever imagine that

Joined: 07/12/2011

MGoPoints: 7982

BlueTimesTwo

September 20th, 2014 at 9:58 PM ^

Largely acceptance of the facts that we are so terrible and will not get better under Hoke, and then anger that the people at the top (DB) do not seem willing or interested in taking the steps needed to fix the problem.

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 13404

Maaly

September 20th, 2014 at 9:58 PM ^

Acceptance ... easily, I can forego watching our team play and would be fine checking the box scores and highlights (if there are any) on espn. I have been at this level since the middle of last year. 

Joined: 09/10/2011

MGoPoints: 453