What do you do when your kid goes to a rival school?
Two separate articles today got me thinking about rooting interests, especially for parents.
First, tomorrow, the Michigan basketball team faces Bradley tomorrow. As many of you know, John Beilein's son Patrick is on the coaching staff at Bradley. There's an article on the family dynamic at the Freep (Link: http://www.freep.com/article/20111221/SPORTS06/112210390/Beilein-family-to-face-off-on-basketball-court-this-week)
The article ends with this:
Kathleen (edit: John Beilein's wife) still knows what got this family through the years and eventually to Ann Arbor. She plans to root for the Wolverines.
There also was a post from mgouser macdaddy this morning with good news. He wrote,
Little macdaddy got into Michigan last Friday. I haz happy. Would NOT have been psyched to write checks to Little Brother U.
This got me to thinking about the dilemma faced by mgoparents. Who do you root for when your child attends, or even worse, plays for, a rival team? I know of at least one mgouser who has a daughter attending Ohio in Columbus. My own daughter visited Illinois and worse, MSU. (fortunately for me, she liked neither.)
mgoblogger mgoshoe has gotten us some inside info from his son, on the sports info staff as a student at Virginia Tech. In one of the thread's, his son said he rooted for Michigan all the time EXCEPT for this one upcoming bowl game.
Some of you root for Michigan, but went to school elsewhere (MAC schools, one of you went to Pitt, etc.) I'm curious who you root for when your own school plays Michigan.
But the real questions are for mgoparents:
- Do any of you let your progeny's school of choice affect your rooting interest?
- Does your children's school of choice ever cause you to root against Michigan?
- Do any of you have children attending MSU, OSU, or ND? If so, how do the dynamics work out when Michigan plays against those teams?
- Do any of you have children who actually played on teams for rivals? (perhaps the hardest dynamic of all.)
Siblings, parents, nephews and nieces, aunts and uncles, even spouses, let alone friends, I can deal with the friendly rivalry. My sister went to Illinois, I have in-laws and nephews who went to Ohio State, and I have no problem with the rivalry.
Kids are harder. If my daughter ends up attending a rival school, I would still root for Michigan, and might rib her a bit, but it would be pretty gentle.
But man, if my son (currently playing as a kid on a DL) ever had the opportunity to play ball collegiately, and ever played against Michigan, man, I would have to root for him, as much as I love Michigan. However, no matter who he was playing for, I would only root for them against Michigan while he was a student, and would revert back to Michigan the minute he graduated.
I'm curious how those of you who have lived this have dealt with it. Especially those cursed with children choosing to go to MSU or OSU. (Did they do this to spite you? Because you were a terrible parent?)
December 21st, 2011 at 1:27 PM ^
To be honest, I want my kids to go to college, but am honestly not a fan of big schools. I will support their decisions to go where they want but will encourage them to look at smaller schools. I will always root for Michigan in the sports world.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:29 PM ^
Are you a Michigan Alum? And if so, do you wish, in retrospect, you had gone to a small school? Just curious.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:01 PM ^
I went to Michigan for one year right out of HS. My brother and sister were already there. It was a really unpleasant experience. I enjoyed many things but none of them related to school. I was completely at a loss to "learn" when all the teachers didn't speak english. The "system" that is big schools totally turned me off. I ended up dropping out. When I did go back to school it was to a small engineering school where all the professors spoke english as a first language and no class was larger than about 20. I could learn in that environment.
I still root for Michigan, it has always been my team of choice.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:50 PM ^
Are you really blaming your failures at school/your unpleasant experience on foreign professors? Also, I don't know when you attended but I did not have even a remotely similar experience and took a wide variety of classes. Your explanation seems a little like sour grapes.
That is not to say that Michigan is for everyone, but your explanation seems weak at best and hateful at worst.
December 21st, 2011 at 4:02 PM ^
Nice...thanks for pycho analyzing me...but you are wrong.
My explanation was neither weak nor strong, it was what it is, an explanation.
My experience was what I got, it was proffessors that spoke little english and taught only half heartedly. They were there mostly to do research/write papers, they lectured because they had to, not because that is what they truly wanted to do with thier lives.
I had zero success at Michigan. I went to another school and had great success. If you are able to learn in that environment, great good for you, it wasn't for me.
I was simply answering a question that the OP posted.
December 21st, 2011 at 5:57 PM ^
Oh noes!1!1!!!1 How could someone possibly not love Michigan????
December 21st, 2011 at 1:37 PM ^
I never even considered a small school coming out of high school. I didn't want my college experience to resemble my high school experience in any way, which is part of why I chose to look at larger schools. Another reason is that I wanted to be exposed to a wide variety fo people from different backgrounds and cultures. Coming from a small town, I was ready to go see what bigger cities and bigger environments had to offer.
Why do you prefer small schools? I realize that there are various benefits, not the least of which is you get more one-on-one attention with advisors and professors.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:52 PM ^
I'm not him, but I went to a small school--it was smaller than my high school. I loved it.
You don't get the diversity and variety and opportunities that are at a place like Michigan, that's true. But what is there, is right up in your face (I mean it in a good way). Maybe there's only one kid from Wyoming and one kid from, say, Bolivia at Small School. But chances are you know both their names. That kind of thing.
There are pluses and minuses at both environments, but I think the minuses are never quite as bad as the naysayers suppose (that goes both ways).
The most remarkable thing about going to my tiny school is that I graduated thinking I could spend another four years taking classes I didn't get to, from professors I didn't yet know (but wanted to), joined clubs I hadn't tried before, etc. Even with there being only a small fraction of the stuff available at a large school, there was way more than I could have done during my time there.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM ^
I'm a graduate of Michigan's Residential College, which gives a small-school feel in the large school environment. It wasn't the best fit for me (language is an important part of the RC and I'm terrible at French), but it was nice to have the opportunity to interact with some of the same people in (some) smaller, more intimately-set classes throughout undergrad. At the same time, because I was at UM, I was able to be a four-year member of the marching band, play IM sports, and enjoy classes outside the RC, which led me to eventually graduating from Rackham with my Masters in Ed. For people who want the small-school feel with the big-school opportunities, the RC can be a great option.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:07 PM ^
What did your classmate say to get sent to Bolivia in the first place?
December 21st, 2011 at 3:05 PM ^
I didn't either, I only applied to one school out of HS, it was Michigan, I got accepted and went.
You list one of the main benefits, class size. The learning environment was very different, the profs at the small school really are they because they want to teach, not write papers and get published. It is a very different experience.
December 21st, 2011 at 4:16 PM ^
This is where I think you are wrong, all professors write and want to get published, regardless of school size. The track to tenure is through publishing and research and such not through teaching evaluations. In terms of contact with professors I get what you are saying, but the idea that teachers at small schools love to teach and ones at large universities are only interested in research is a fallacy, there are about the same proportion of both at each. For the record I go to michigan but my mom is a professor at Hopkins so I know some about small schools. Also I had one class with more than 25 people this year at school, experiences are increbly individual at college, in general any stereotypes are wrong because regardless of shcool size it is what you make of it generally. There are small schools completely based upon research for example, its why people should do their own research about schools, but I do object to your charecterization of professors at large universities vs. small colleges as I have found my proffessors here do care about teaching.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:28 PM ^
I would imagine that a good parent would support them no matter what... unless your parents went to OSU cause then education doesn't matter
December 21st, 2011 at 1:32 PM ^
I had an old girlfriend (at Michigan) who was from the Columbus area. Her father graduated from Ohio. And to his credit, he fully supported his daughter going to Michigan rather than Ohio, and he could afford it. However, she was never that big of a sports fan, so they didn't have much conflict.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:36 PM ^
My mother graduated from Ohio, I was born and raised through middle school in Columbus/Westerville and I have been a Michigan fan since I was old enough to make that decision (5 or 6). If anything it makes "The Game" a lot more fun because of the constant ribbing that takes place. If your kids are merely attending a school then there is no need to change a thing. If your son plays for another team then you always root for your kid...while he is a member of the team. When he graduates, all bets are off.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:31 PM ^
Start digging the trenches. Plan on finding topics of conversation that are DMZs where you will not go off on each other. It's a different kind of branding and everyone reacts differently.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:33 PM ^
I'll support my kids in whatever decision they make, and I'll support them regardless of where they attend
<br>
<br>Blood is thicker than a sports rivalry.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:34 PM ^
I know I'm supposed to give some snarky answer about putting the kids' belongings in a cardboard box at the end of your driveway... but anyone who doesn't immediately know the answer to this question shouldn't be a parent anyway.
Now, if your kid just attends the school, well, that's something else entirely.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:42 PM ^
You've already failed as a parent anyway.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM ^
Mike Boren = epic fail?
December 21st, 2011 at 2:37 PM ^
You might just be happy they want to go to a Big Ten school......instead of living in your basement....
December 21st, 2011 at 3:36 PM ^
And made enough money to move out of the house, I still wouldn't think I had done a great job as a father.
December 21st, 2011 at 5:33 PM ^
IIRC, it isn't a point of focus.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:38 PM ^
Seriously...what if being a veterinarian is their goal?
December 22nd, 2011 at 10:56 AM ^
Cornell, U-C-Davis, Colorado State, ND State, and Penn are better schools. And there's a long list that are close.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:38 PM ^
Seriously...what if being a veterinarian is their goal?
December 21st, 2011 at 1:37 PM ^
Not a parent, but when I have a child and he/she wants to play for, say, Ohio State, I would root for he/she to do well. I would also root for Ohio State to lose though. This is what my father told me when I was a kid when I asked him this very question and I agree with it.
December 21st, 2011 at 3:42 PM ^
Saying it and doing it are two completely different things. Lets say you are a QB and are diving your team for the game winning drive, is your dad hoping you throw a pick-six to ice the game? It would be a shame if I am not my son's biggest fan! When you have kids, you will understand what I am talking about.
December 21st, 2011 at 4:01 PM ^
and he didn't understand you are talking about. So maybe they just believe this is the proper way.
December 21st, 2011 at 5:59 PM ^
No I don't think he would be hoping for a pick-6 in this situtation. He would probably hope for something like you complete a pass to a receiver down the field and he gets hit and fumbles. Turnover, his team loses, not his fault.
December 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 PM ^
You bring up a great point. I have no idea how my Dad would react. What my Dad told me since I asked him "what if I played WR for OSU?" He said if you are good enough to go to OSU then you can play for Michigan hahaha. To answer your question though if I was lined up at WR for OSU and had a chance to catch the winning TD my Dad would root for a sack. If I got the game winning catch he would be happy as well but dissappointed that his team lost. Idk if that helps clarify things?
December 21st, 2011 at 1:36 PM ^
It really comes down to realizing that you need to separate school and athletic rooting interests. I have a parent and two siblings that go/went to State, and two grandparents who are from and root for Ohio. I've found that it's easier to just accept that they go/went to a different school and move on, and in the case of my parents, they figured that out well before me. It's not actually important in the grand scheme of things.
That doesn't mean that playful jabs aren't exchanged during sports seasons, or that I'm not in agony over having less than usual about which I can brag to my little brother and sister, however. That all still applies.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:55 PM ^
What have you done with Tatgate? Do you bait them, or let it lie? Have you had any discussions about the sanctions, and Tressel?
My wife's family is from Ohio, and her nephews played football at St. Ignatius. One is now a coach, and the other had to quit ball early because of injuries, so he transferred from Ohio U. to Ohio State. Interestingly, both are more fans of football, than fans of Ohio State. We rib each other a bit, but they both root more for friends than just for their school. For instance, they are thrilled that fellow Ignatius grad Jake Ryan is doing so well at Michigan. I get the feeling from them that guys who actually play view the game much, much differently than guys who are fans of a school. In fact, I took my son's football coach, an ND fan, to the Northwestern game, where he had no rooting interest. It didn't matter: he just enjoys watching football, no matter who is playing.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:39 PM ^
I will support my kids no matter what school they choose, so long as they do it on full scholarship, academic or athletic (I'm very flexible and understanding) and they have full-time summer jobs that allow them to pay rent and buy their alcohol.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:40 PM ^
This isn't a child/parent thing, but since you bring up Bradley its worth noting that their Athletic Director has a Michigan degree and spent some time in the Athletic department here.
I think I would pull a Leigh Ann Tuohy and tell the kid I'm not wearing the sweatshirt. I have often thought about what I'd do if my son went to Notre Dame. It's a near impossiblity given that he's been raised to loathe them, but you never know. If it turned out to be his dream school, I'd pay the tuition but no way does any of that leprachaun-poisoned logo horsecrap go on my car, home, or body.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:41 PM ^
let my child go wherever he or she wanted and would actively root for him/her and the team.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:45 PM ^
Little ReadYourGuard also received his acceptance letter to Michigan last Friday. Prior to that, he asked if he should send an application to MSU as a backup plan. He couldn't actually finish the question before he started laughing out loud.
To answer your question, just go to/work for Michigan and your dilemma is solved.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:56 PM ^
You remind me of what my mom used to tell me if my middle school grades failed to meet her expectations: "You have to apply to an instate school in case everywhere else is too expensive, and if you don't shape up these grades you'll have to apply to MSU instead of Michigan cause you won't get in!"
December 21st, 2011 at 1:45 PM ^
I'm a student at Purdue, but I will root for Michigan every time they play us. I've loved Michigan my whole life, but I just couldn't justify paying about twice as much to go out of state to U of M than to stay here and go to Purdue, which is a decent school in itself.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:46 PM ^
Last season Glen Rice, Jr. and Georgia Tech were in the Legends classic with Michigan. They ended up not playing each other, but I'm pretty sure I read a quote from Rice, Sr. that it was a win-win and he would be happy either way.
Michigan (and Hardaway, Jr.) did play Hardaway, Sr.'s alma mater, UTEP, but TH Sr. said he was rooting for his son.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:52 PM ^
I don't have kids. But I'll tell you how my parents dealt with the situation: "We would never tell you that you can't go to a particular school; whatever your heart desires we'll support it. But there are certain schools that our money won't follow you to."
I can promise you they'd never have changed their rooting interest against their schools had I chosen a rival. I wouldn't have expected or wanted them to, either. They do root for the schools their sons chose, but they won't do it at the expense of their own should they ever come into conflict. (Which is rare anyway.)
December 21st, 2011 at 1:54 PM ^
Really though our rivals would represent a failure of parenting in terms of tOSU or MSU. Lower academic ratings and such. I plan on raising my children to aim for a very small subset Public Ivy and some select private schools. I'm also willing to tolerate schools selected for a specific purpose (like the dental school at Iowa).
I wouldn't be against my kid attending MSU because they are our rival. I'd be against my kid attending State because their academic ranking is shit. I think that is a reasonable stance for any parent.
Notre Dame is the only sports rival whose academics I respect, but since I'm not raising my kids Catholic I don't see them as a threat.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:33 PM ^
on the program/field of study. MSU would be an excellent choice for elementary and secondary education for example.
December 21st, 2011 at 1:57 PM ^
a Michigan alum, my dad is a Michigan alum, and my brother is...a Virginia Tech alum. I have actually had this conversation with my dad. Both our feelings are that while we usually root for VT, the Hokies success has little impact on Michigan. This makes it easy to root for them. However, if the two teams were to ever play, we would just root for a good game. (obviously including a Michigan victory)
December 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM ^
As my kids are five and four, I have a long time before I get to figure this one out intelligently, although I am pretty sure that if it is MSU or Ohio for one of them, I would have to teach my wife to sign checks as I do for I would likely be psychologically unable to do it. I wouldn't deny them the education, but I couldn't have it in my name. The rule about certain colors in the house would hold, I am sure.
Anyway, our neighbor back in the day in Northville had one of his three daughters go to MSU, and it took him time to actually come to grips with this, as I recall. The other two daughter when to Michigan, as he did in the 1960s, and he just couldn't quite get his mind around why one of them would go to the land of "Sparty No!".
December 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM ^
alum, hence my name here on MGO, and I went there because of the small school draw in a location that I loved. I wish I could have gone to UM, but financially I just could not do it.
Having said all of that the Michigan Wolverines are #1 in my life when it comes to sports. I cheered for them when they came up and played NMU in hockey for instance. Having said that, I would want my kids to choose the school that is the best fit for them. I now live in the burbs of Philly with my wife (PSU alum) and assume my kids will go to school somewhere on the east coast, but of course I will push them towards UM. I would hope by the way I raise them they would never consider going to columbus or lansing... wherever they decide to go I will wear my maize and blue with pride!
December 21st, 2011 at 2:10 PM ^
I played football at a school that was a rival of the university that both my parents attended, my mom didn't care about the rivalry and supported my team the whole way, but I know it was a struggle for my dad but he crossed the line and supported my team while I played. Since I finished playing, he has gone back to hating my university.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
to go to the best school that he can get into and he likes. This will not be OSU, or MSU simply because we don't live in Michigan or Ohio. I guess ND is an option and if that were to happen, I wouldn't root for them, but that's unlikely.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:25 PM ^
for my kid if she was playing a sport against M. However, my daughter is not an athlete and is looking at the always lucrative (heavy sarcasm) Musical Theatre programs. She's only a Soph in HS so is still early in the process but is considering Michigan, WMU and Elon. She really wanted Northwestern and while she's at the top of her class - took the SAT in 7th grade and so on - she's won't get into NU.
December 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM ^
I'm the guy who has a daughter who is a freshmen at OSU. I bought tickets and took her and her OSU student boyfriend to the game, we had a great time, and since the Buckeyes lost I told her that she and he could count on tickets for the 2013 game in A2. (p.s. She was born in A2, and I still have a picture of her at age 4 as a Michigan cheerleader!)
She asked me if she could wear her OSU stuff to the game, I said of course, I'd expect you to root hard for your school regardless of where I went to school. Besides, I told her that in A2 she would be safe in buckeye regalia, as we treat our guests with some decorum as opposed to visitors to the 'shoe. Both her and her boyfriend were very much impressed by how nice and courteous the crowd and the students were to them. I told her at Michigan we have 3 rivals, and we are too busy rooting for our guys to bother rooting against anyone else.
I'm just happy that she is a good kid, wanted to go to college and make something of herself, and the rivalry makes for fun around our house and people always look at us and ask questions when I am wearing a Michigan shirt, sweatshirt, or hat and she has on OSU stuff. We good naturely poke fun at each other, and it has given us a common point of reference to discuss and enjoy.
Of course, I did tell her that the grandkids will be getting only Michigan stuff from Grandpa when that time comes along!