Weis and other fat coaches
I find something interesting in the interminable, they-just-write-themselves jokes about Charlie Weis' girth. Believe it or not, there are fatter coaches than Charlie. Mark Mangino at Kansas is quite blobular in nature, ditto Ralph Friedgen, known as "The Fridge."
Charlie even gets plenty of jokes from Michigan fans, who hold as one of their finest Jim Brandstatter - a big dude in his own right.
So why does Charlie get it so bad? I think it has to do with attitude - Mangino can pass as a jolly fat man, and the Fridge truly did wake up some echoes at Maryland and hasn't really pissed anyone off. They certainly haven't targeted anybody or called them out, with the exception of Mangino claiming BCS tampering with the refs and Ralph shilling for UnderArmor ("NOBODY BEATS US IN OUR HOUSE!")
Meanwhile, Weis came out with the Decided Schematic Advantage, countered with "multiple personnel groups from multiple formations," and continued with "I could recruit thugs and win more," "garbage time," suing his doctors, lying about whether Jimmy Clausen was going to start, "to hell with Michigan" and on and on.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:46 PM ^
ohh man I am not trying to be mean but when butler crushed his leg I laughed lol I know I am a bad person
September 11th, 2009 at 2:44 AM ^
He needs to spend some time with Barwis to improve his foot speed.
September 11th, 2009 at 1:30 AM ^
Butler may have crushed his leg, but Weis could crush anything if he wanted to.
September 11th, 2009 at 9:16 AM ^
It's human nature to laugh when you see someone get hurt. When I was in Jr. High a friend and I were talking about how it is so hard not to laugh when you see someone get hurt. You feel bad after but it is always your first reaction.
When the bell rang to change classes we walked out into the hallway and a girl running down the hall with heels on slipped and fell, smashing her head on the floor and screamming "Oh my head?". What did we do??? Looked at eachother and immediately cracked up.
This usually happens even when we see good people get hurt, so laughing when pear bryant went down is no sin at all. Sleep easy my friend.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:46 PM ^
it's not just his attitude- it's the entire school- after all we're talking notre dame versus kansas and maryland- who cares about kansas and maryland, we're not talking basketball.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:47 PM ^
I just don't like him because I was at a Chinese buffet years ago near Boston and he cleaned the place out. He brings a portable shitter with him so he doesnt have to leave site of the food. He knocked over some elderly woman that tried to put the last of the candy sprinkles on her ice cream. He even bit off the finger of a little boy who just wanted an autograph claiming afterward that he thought it was a french fry lying on the table.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:53 PM ^
The manufacturer should use this as a promotional tool as to how durable their product is. This chair could be sold by the millions to buffet style restaurants everywhere.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:57 PM ^
I think I sat next to this woman on an airplane. I'd remember those shoes anywhere.
September 11th, 2009 at 12:11 AM ^
Very wrong.
September 11th, 2009 at 6:26 AM ^
Damn, this pic would be HOT if those pants weren't in the way, amirite?!
September 10th, 2009 at 10:49 PM ^
- Michigan fans are just that much more clever
- The combined rivals of ND are that much more clever
- Those other two programs are MUCH lower in the NCAAFB world, ergo get less press
- He hasn't had real success at ND where the other coaches, like you've said, have made their programs better.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:52 PM ^
... and everything related. I mean what's the point of making fun of the Kansas and Maryland coaches? It is sort of like piling on. Plus Charles in Charge is so darned arrogant.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:53 PM ^
I guess I'm one of the few on here who doesn't really care if a coach is fat or not. I would take Andy Reid as my coach. If the coach is an arrogant loser, he's an arrogant loser, fat or not.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:04 PM ^
Its not whether he is overweight or not, its because he is ND's coach AND fat.
September 11th, 2009 at 2:21 AM ^
It's not just that he's fat...it's the clothes he wears. Specifically the pants. You know what I'm talking about. The khakis with the giant male FUPA. Sickening. Truly sickening.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:55 PM ^
He is also arrogant and annoying.
Jim Tressel, even though he coaches for the real enemy, is just not nearly as entertaining to make fun of. Even though I hope to see them lose, I just don't have as many jokes about the sweatervest compared to good ol' Charles.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:02 PM ^
C'mon, spill them! What ARE some of your Charlie Weis jokes? And not just "fat guy" jokes, but actual Charlie Weis jokes. Say, something like, "Charlie Weis is tending bar and a ham walks in and orders a martini..."
September 11th, 2009 at 1:03 AM ^
To Charlie Weis, the Big House is just "the House." (weak, sorry)
Little known fact: touchdown Jesus isn't signaling touchdown, he's gesticulating just how fat Weis is.
Ol' Charlie was recruiting some kids the other day. By absorbing them into his thighs.
Weis only recruited Clausen because he thought he would be getting pickles.
Weis won't be able to make it to Ann Arbor this weekend, as he couldn't squeeze between Lake Michigan and Lake Erie.
Weis' schematic advantage stems from the great view from his head's high perch atop his humongous body.
These jokes sucked. Sorry.
September 11th, 2009 at 9:21 AM ^
All of them except the Clausen one. That got a laugh.
September 11th, 2009 at 9:35 AM ^
There aren't many jokes to be made at Tressel's expense I guess, but seeing him plowed over on the sideline and breaking his leg would be equally funny (if not more) than seeing it happen to the Whale.
Imagine sweatervest picking himself off the ground, glasses bent and cracked, sweatervest grass stained and his hair every which way but loose.....That would be pretty entertaining IMHE.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:03 PM ^
But has anyone noticed Paul Johnson has lost a lot of weight since going to Georgia Tech?
September 10th, 2009 at 11:38 PM ^
Not really.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:08 PM ^
FYI Ralph Friedgen lost 105 pounds since last October.
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/health/2009/08/terps_coach_ralph_friedg…
September 10th, 2009 at 11:09 PM ^
Who was the coach on our sideline on Saturday that's about twice the size of Charlie? I'm not talking about Calvin. This dude was enormous and was usually pretty close to the field of play, walking (barely) in his official white polo.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:10 PM ^
He's the Anti-Charlie
September 10th, 2009 at 11:15 PM ^
I snuck into Weis' office and replaced his magnetic Xs & 0s with cookie Xs & Os. We haven't seen the "schematic advantage" since.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:58 PM ^
It's that he is such an arrogant bastard. The fact that he is obese just gives fans that don't like him or ND (and that is a lot) a large, easy, and humorous target. It's like Weis' high-maintenence, low-performance persona begs for cyber-abuse.
For example, if someone told the same fat joke about Mangino and then told it about Weis, it would be a lot funnier told about Weis because most fans would rather laugh with Mangino but at Weis.
September 11th, 2009 at 7:52 AM ^
A great matchup of girth was when Kansas and Mangino faced Toledo and Tom Amstutz (and his whistle). They could have had one helluva sumo match
September 11th, 2009 at 9:24 AM ^
Damn Right!
Toledo Tom is gone now, part of the AD fundraising, but the whistle and the extra wide doors in the Athletic Center live on forever.
That's what happens to you when you were a Lineman in the 70's, I suppose. You just never drop it.
September 11th, 2009 at 9:43 AM ^
Well, Friedgen is a lot slimmer these days. Some grudging respect to him for that. Brian made a joke about Will Campbell losing the equivalent of a fifth-grader due to Barwisizing - Friedgen actually has. (He's still an obnoxious negative recruiter, though.)
And Mangino definitely does not come off as the jolly fat man. Everything I heard about him suggests he's right up there on the yelling and cussing scale with RR, though it's all hearsay really. But both of those guys took crappy programs and made them good. Weis took a decent program that everyone thought was crappy and made it crappier. And you could fit all three of those guys inside Weis's arrogant ego. Remember that story about his lawsuit over his failed gastric bypass that got thrown out of court because it was shown he blew off his doctor's advice? That's what sealed the dislike for me.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:40 PM ^
Former Toledo coach Tom Amstutz was large and in charge. He's from Toledo and I'm from Toledo but that does not make him any smaller in my eyes without my glasses!!