WAY OT - Cedar Point torture chamber

Today I truly grasped my age as I chaperoned a class of 8th graders to Cedar Point. The last time I was there was when I was in 8th grade. Oh my, how things have changed.

I used to consider myself a fan of roller coasters. Uh......not so much anymore.

The guy who invented Top Thrill Dragster needs to die. That's not a ride.....it's a modern day Iron Maiden. I stood near the 400+foot tower and thought, "NFW! I'm not doing that!" But I had another dad with me (a guy I coached football with) and I simply couldn't wimp out. We waited nearly an hour in line.....and every time I watched another "dragster" launch itself towards the menacing skyscraper, a little piece of me died inside. I talked to kids in line to "get their story" and watched as women and grandparents alike flew past us towards the platform, laughing and cheering and loving the experience. I tried to draw strength from them, but it was futile. The moment of my peril was at hand.

It was our turn to embark onto the platform and into a car. My heart was literally pounding harder and faster than it ever has in my life. I thought for sure I was gonna have a heart attack......or at least an aneurysm. My friend was laughing at me and telling me that "we're at the point of no return buddy. Hang on."

"Thanks @hole" :lol:

We sat in that car for what seemed like eternity, watching the two dragsters in front of us propel themselves to a fiery, blurry death. Now it's our turn and I'm frantically looking for a park employee to shut down the ride and get me the hell off. I couldn't believe I was feeling like this, but I'm at DefCon 5 and this isn't an exercise.

"Hands down, head against the head rest"
"Hands down, head against the head rest"

These CAN'T be the last words I hear in my lifetime, can they?

Then the sound system blared the revving dragster motor and I'm ready to hand my soul over to the Lord. There was a slight hesitation of the brakes and then..........................

"H O L Y S & # + !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :shock::HELP:

At that moment I realized I never want to race funny cars or fly jet planes. I want my mommy.

By the Grace of God, we didn't fly off the top of the coaster and land somewhere in Lake Erie.

I've never had the notion to get down on my hands and knees, thank God, and kiss the earth..........until today.

Generally, I get a little nervous on rides but enjoy the experience after it's over. Not this one. I will be haunted by this ride for days and perhaps even years. The site of that 400foot tower is permanently etched into my brain and as I sit here and visualize it, my stomach jumps up into my throat.

I can safely say that's the last time I will visit Cedar Point in my natural lifetime.