Very OT, Very Funny: The Viral Sorority Rant
If you haven't seen this in all its glorious forms, you are missing some side-splitting laughter.
So there's this sorority chapter president, or something, at UM (not our UM, but the other B1G UM) (well, in 2014). She wrote a blistering email to her sisters... and, well, you have to read it for yourself. Its very, very, very NSFW... and incredibly hilarious... and even gives us some new swear terms that I'd never heard before ("c--- punt"???). And a girl calling other girls "boners" is, well, curious, to me.
So here's the email and its background:
http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read
And here is a professional actor reading it alive (be prepared to laugh your butt off):
And here's a Barbie Doll reading it too:
And here's a picture of the email's author, and wow, she's not only got a foul mouth, but she's a babe:
Personally, I actually think the email is very, very effective. The use of CAPS and swearing and parentheticals is just perfect -- delivers an extremely crisp message. I think the recipients of the email get the point clearly and perfectly. And the message Becky delivers is dead-on -- she's right, after all.
That's just not ture.
For all intensive purposes, she's a pre-madonna.
Did you read the tweets from this article http://www.brobible.com/college/article/university-of-maryland-sorority… ?
I really think she is probably just a bitch.
"But oh em gee Julia." I think I'm in love with this Chick.
That funny or die video just had me laughing harder than I have in a long time.
She's also like, kind of a pretty awful person all around, if her now-deleted twitter is any indication (it is):
http://www.brobible.com/college/article/university-of-maryland-sorority-email-twitter
Any girl who says cheers to double penetration is good in my book...
Who doesn't like double penetration?
I don't know about this place sometimes... seriously.
April 25th, 2013 at 10:46 PM ^
I don't think many people on this board are fans of double penetration.
April 26th, 2013 at 12:59 AM ^
Oh, I was Greek and I can totally laugh at this. Saying "this chick is a total bitch" is just fine, and probably warranted. Saying "all sorority girls are bitches because of this girl" is the type of stuff many of us get pissed about.
Don't worry, this is not intended as an insult - despite not being in a frat I've been in my shares of organized and unorganized insular groups (like say MGoBlog) with their own idiosyncrasies that they (or a vocal subset of "they") often take WAY too seriously.
I think the life lesson here is to occasionally sit back and consider what you look like to someone on the outside looking in, and be able to laugh at what you see.
but just think about those GA threads you referenced. Does anybody actually think that empty rows in the student section damages M's reputation nationwide? Does anybody actually think that thousands of students will leave the Nebraska game and line up for OSU three weeks later?
I don't think this is a Greek thing, I think it's a "some people get way too worked up about stuff" thing. (For the record, I'm Greek and haven't seen or suffered any indignities relating to lack of socialization at events. Saying "go to intermural events and cheer" or "talk to people other than brothers at a mixer" is hardly an indignity, it's a normal part of being part of any organization.)
In regards to the GA issue, I think an honest assessment would acknowledge the following: many of the biggest, rowdiest pregame parties take place at Greek houses, many of the biggest, rowdiest seating groups have been Greek groups, and a disproportionate (though not exclusive) number of young ladies stumbling in after the first quarter and spending the whole game on the phone have a portion of the Greek alphabet pasted on the ass of their yoga pants.
So with that in mind, I think it would be good of the Greek community, which nominally supports spirit, solidarity, etc., to take the lead on a "get to the game on time" effort (and hopefully not a "pledges get to the game on time to save the seniors seats). Heck, just having a majority of the Greek community in the stands to cheer on the band for pregame would be a major improvement in game day atmosphere.
Perhaps such an effort has been made, but if so it hasn't been visible outside the Greek community.
although maybe I was bad at getting that across. I really do think the sentiment is normal, though, and have heard talks or read emails with those themes from being a part of athletic teams, student government, my fraternity and will probably hear something similar in later stages of life.
My only point with the GA threads is that we see people investing a lot of emotion in a ticket policy, just like we see this girl investing a lot of emotion in the social perception of her sorority. People get emotionally invested in things they care about, even if it ends up looking ridiculous in hindsight or from the outside.
You just described every office Christmas party that has ever been.
As with all things, it is even more epic when read in Christopher Walken voice.
/imagines if i lived with Christopher Walken and could just hand him stuff to read all the time.
Edit: I like this one better.
Once it is out there, you can't get it back. Between email, facebook, twitter, youtube, and other media, the current generation of students is building an electronic resume that will follow them for years. I actually want to forward this to a couple kids I know as a word of warning.
As an aside, people can talk however they want. It's a free country, after all. However, somehow, I wish the tone of discourse in society hadn't become so coarse. This langauge is everywhere now, and comes out of the mouths of so many. I wonder if it is at a point where professors lecture like this now. The current mayor of Chicago, Rahm Immanuel, is legendary for his coarse mouth. There are 3 and 4 year old kids at school who don't get why there's a problem with them talking just like mom and dad do at home.
Somehow that's my favorite line.
Let's cut to the important question:
Does she show up on time to Maryland sporting events?
Forget Devin Gardner. We need to hire her to do the video to get the students to show up on time at the games. The males will all say yes and the females will all be afraid to say no.
I would watch her rality show, which I think will be on Bravo in 6 weeks.
that we didn't have email back when I was in a sorority. We had to do rants like this face to face. And while it did lead to a lot of tears (especially in Greek Week, when you weren't trying enough, perky enough, etc..) we don't have long term evidence.
Are social anxiety and eating disorders not considered "long term evidence"?
:)
When viewed through the haze of profanity:
* That e-mail is written pretty well when you consider the average verbal skills of today's college students.
* It's a glimpse of how most of our society works (forced interactions with a sale of some sort constantly behind the scenes). Sure, you could extrapolate to all humanity, but I think it's quintessentially USA.
* She'll make a fine drug rep someday. I'm serious -- I'd bet big $ that she'll be a sales champion (and, in time, a complete b*tch of a sales director).
slave auction; the list of her tweets would have been even more awesome. sororities and fraternities: last bastion of white supremacy on US college campuses.
The KKK would have had a field day with my fraternity then. Blacks, Jews, Asians all over the place. Indians and Hispanics too. Were they all in on the white supremacy?
If the Greek System is a bastion of white supremacy, then so is the University of Michigan.
will haunt this girl her entire professional life.
Not if she's a Stripper.
SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK
It's usually the opposite, no?
That they DO "fucking suck". Would a Sigma Nu brother kick them to the curb? Nay, I say!
Elle Woods is not amused.
scratch that, she is too cool to marry me...
that woman is my hero.
jdon
I'll fight you for her.
Her now deleted twitter account was epic. Many gems but this was my fav:
You may call it morning wood. I call it breakfast.
Hubba Hubba
For some reason, I thought of Ted L. Nancy's (well, really a guy named Barry Marder) "Letters From A Nut" series the whole time I was reading this e-mail. It's a little less subtle than the letters in those books, but it is basically as funny...actually, a bit moreso in some ways.
Also, in skimming through responses to the e-mail, it appears Alison Haislip (of "Attack Of The Show!" and "The Voice") did her own version, and it was fairly close to how I imagined this being read by the author (of course, link only as NSFW).
(Score: 1,000 Normal)
And we thought the University of Maryland was a boring add to the Big Ten.
The Big Ten could use a woman like Rebecca.
April 26th, 2013 at 12:03 AM ^