USC Limericks!
Sneaky Pete, Reggie, Joe, and OJ have given us plenty of fodder. Here are a few, admittedly rather poorly done, to get things started. I am sure many MGoBloggers can do much better!
There once was a coach in LA
Who got players by offering pay.
But someone did tattle
So he went to Seattle
Being chased by the NCAA.
Now this team has many believers
With good backs and lots of receivers.
In need of a coach
They first tried to poach
The fellow in charge of the Beavers.
The head Beaver said "No, I'll stay here
In Corvallis, which I hold so dear."
So now, left in the lurch,
They continue to search
While their fans all cry in their beer.
Now Sneaky Pete, the fellow who quit,
Has not even taken a hit.
He left his problems behind
And managed to find
A new gig where he's paid quite a bit.
So as Troy weeps, the rest of the nation.
Is overcome with general elation.
Play the game by the rules
Or in the end you'll be fools
Spending some time ON PROBATION.
Next, please!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:18 PM ^
There once was a great Man of Troy,
Whose football teams brought him great joy
But while he was beating
Other teams, he was cheating
And he found himself out of employ.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:20 PM ^
Once in the land of the stars,
With gifts of houses and cars,
A crook of a coach,
Our players would poach,
But now maybe theirs will be ours.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:37 PM ^
There once was a man named Pete Carroll
Who cheated his school into peril
He threw out some cash
And screwed some grad ass
Now he better hope that he's sterile.
USC's ex-golden boy
Used Seattle to get out of Troy
He'd cheat to get Bush
And graduate tush
Now Paul Allen has a new toy.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:12 PM ^
Not even the golden locks of Matt Barkley,
Could keep pete from acting so darkly,
It's my girlfriend's car!,
Exclaimed his star,
We're all sick of his malarkey
January 12th, 2010 at 8:52 PM ^
Even as an SC alum I have to chuckle at that one. Good show.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:38 PM ^
Here, this one's in honor of what appears to be USC's big hire:
There once was a team with a stain
USC's problems were plain
No one wanted to work
Under sanctions berserk
So they found someone wholly insane.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:53 PM ^
Heres to the NCAA
As they investigate USC's play
Many years in the making
All quite painstaking
DIE YOU SO-CAL BAZTARDS DIE WITH THE DEATH PENALTY LIKE SMU AND GIVE BACK YOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS DIE! DIE! DIE!
sorry
January 12th, 2010 at 8:57 PM ^
That may not technically be a limerick or follow strict patterns of meter and rhyme, but I lol'ed anyway.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:54 AM ^
It's a Sam Kinison-style limerick. Glad to see someone else remembers him.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:15 PM ^
Who loved ever so dearly to cheat
Now Michigan is poaching
The players he would be coaching
Sean and Dillon would be a treat
January 12th, 2010 at 9:45 PM ^
Who'd have thunk the Trojans picked Kiffin
Recruit's commitments will unstiffen
And what about Dillon
Who's about to be chillin'
In Ann Arbor where he ought to be livin'.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:10 PM ^
The Trojans no longer had Peter
Who claimed to have found something sweeter
So Kiffin came in
and said with a grin
"I'm pretty sure Harbaughs' a cheater."
January 13th, 2010 at 2:34 AM ^
There once was a school looking to hire
USC took Kiffin despite lacking a situation dire
Not one for a battle
Carroll left for Seattle
Now (pending investigation), USC finds itself in quite a mire
INFRACTIONS COUNT, READY?
ONE! TWO! WE WANT MOOOORE MISDEEDS!
OHSHIT OHSHIT
OHSHIT OHSHIT
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT (REGGIE)! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT (REGGIE)! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT (REGGIE)! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT (REGGIE)!
(I openly admit to breaking form for that last line)