Urban Meyer's fable in which Earl Bruce gets bit in the buckeyes by a turtle is in fact a fable.

Gordon Gee was there.  He'll tell you all about it.

(Ahhhhhhhh.  Gotcha.  He was just testing you).

Does Urban ever tell the truth?

I'm not surprised. The story is a bit much. I bet if they confront Meyer with the question, "Who exactly told you that many NFL teams are seeking out Hoke and he might not stay at Michigan?"

The answer would be, "I have credible sources and was told this fact in confidence. My integreity will not allow me to disclose the names."

Or some other complete bull s***.

Florida called, they are still waiting for Urban to come back when he is at 100 percent.

Urban Meyer seems like a trainwreck waiting to happen for Ohio.  Either in violations or something else.

Meh, what's the big deal?  He's just telling a story to make a joke.  He sounds stupid, but that's about it.

And MSU is literally M$U.  The original founding charter for State was recently discovered under a bale of hay in Old McDonalds barn and it turns out it contained a typo, the S was mistyped as an $.  So the University's legal name is M$U.  And we are literally SCUM, but that's a long story and you'll have to go over to RCMB for the details.  /obvious fiction

God I hate this cutsie wordplay.  Urban Meyer may be a liar, but his name is not literally Urban Liar.  It sounds stupid and petty. 

Once in Ohio a biting turtle bit a man named Woodie Hayes in the penis. Woodie Hayes was allegedly holding the turtle because he loved animals such as turtles and ducks.

I'm sure Gee started to consider the consequences of motivating your players to all feed their wangs to snapping turtles and encouraged a retraction. 

No more looking down on Ohio and MSU for being petty if we're going to have threads like this one.

Urban Meyer's an asshole, to be sure.  But... this was a joke, with a puchline and everything.  The delievery was actually pretty good.  I laughed.  There's a lot of reasons to call this guy a lot of things, but calling him a liar over this is... some sort of negative adjective that I can't be bothered to think of, how bout lame.

I can probably give him a pass on this one. It is just an old joke, although that is not obvious when the retelling omits the punchline (as heard in the video). With the punchline included, it becomes obvious that this is just a joke and not a true story. Only a moron would think it was supposed to be a true story ... oh, wait, what was the audience?

If any other coach said the same things, we wouldn't care. Let's try not to be biased just because it's Ohio State.

I edited the title so now it says what the article says. Sometimes the truth is more interesting than using "literally" to mean "figuratively."

Watch the video - it was a joke, and a pretty obvious one at that.  I think Urban Meyer is the scum of the Earth, but this was clearly a joke.  

I can't believe there was a 3 page thread on this earlier and 90% of the people thought it was a true story.

It was obviously a joke when he delivered the punch line.

This reminds me of the McDonalds story.

On the way home from the Ohio State game this year we stopped to get gas in some shit Ohio off-ramp town, and Ace and I ran next door to McDonalds. My food came up fairly fast but Ace's was taking awhile and we still had to wait for Heiko anyway, so I put my tray of food at a table to reserve it and went to go fill up ketchups and my drink and stayed up there to continue bitching about Borges.

Meanwhile this bum walked in with a paper bag in his hand. I saw him come in but at first I didn't notice (or my eyes wouldn't believe it) but he went and sat down right in my seat and started eating my food. At first I was like "did you guys just see that?" but then I finally decided to walk over there and be like "Dude, that's my food." And the bum was like "Got a receipt?"

Now I'm not one to pick fights with Ohio bums so I went back to the counter and the manager was just like "yeah, he comes in sometimes; let me replace your order," and I'm like "fine, whatever," but I'm still pissed about this whole thing and suspicious that they're f-ing with me because we're Michigan fans, so I go sit down at the booth directly across from him.

So we're hanging there for awhile so Heiko can order and eat, and eventually the bum finishes my food and he gets up and walks out the door. So then we finally fill Heiko in on what the f just happened and he's the one who noticed the bum had left his brown paper bag on the booth seat across from us. So I jump over there and grab it, and stick it next to me on the seat. A minute later the bum comes back in, and he's looking around the restaurant and finally he turns to us and asks "you guys see a bag anywhere?" So I'm like "got a receipt?" And he just looked at me, and I stared back, and he walked back out the door.

I think this speaks more to Woody Hayes' character than to any kind of gullibility. Anyone who's ever read about Hayes or watched him on TV when he was coaching read this story today and said, "Yup, that sounds like something he'd do."

1. When the turtle approaches, first try to be understanding.  When turtles approach strange objects, they normally examine them with their nose.

2. If the turtle does bite your privates, remain calm.  Possibly the bite is just a warning and the turtle will quickly release it..

3. Even if the turtle does not release its bite, be courteous.  Cursing will only aggravate the turtle and cause it to hold longer.

4.      Above all, do not kill the turtle. Its jaws will then lock permanently.   

Read more: When a Turtle Bites How Do You Make Them Release? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_8551350_turtle-bites-do-make-release.html#ixzz2KjLoexIG

I heard Steve Yzerman tell the same story  about Scotty Bowman (Bowman was present) back in 1993 during a fundraiser at the Grosse Pointe Yacht Club.  

Yeah it was a fun night.