Urban Meyer describes Woody Hayes doing weird things with a turtle.
This is just bizarre:
"He reaches down and grabs this box, slides the top and there was something in the box moving around. He reaches in and he pulls out this turtle. He reaches down, this turtle's snapping and he says, 'I'm going to show you toughness.' He unzips his pants and takes out whatever he takes out. The turtle reaches up and snaps at him. You see the veins and the sweat (on Hayes). He screams at the coaches, 'That's toughness! That's f'n toughness!'"
February 12th, 2013 at 10:51 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 10:52 AM ^
Ummmm?
February 12th, 2013 at 10:52 AM ^
I thought we all concluded Urban is good at making stuff up?
If this event did happen, well, it would not surprise me. /s
February 12th, 2013 at 11:06 AM ^
He would be better at making stuff up if he had basic Animal Physiology down.
Snapping Turtles live almost exclusively in water.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:08 AM ^
Not sure the turtle chose to live in the box. Just speculation, but I bet it was caught and held captive for this... thing that happened...
February 12th, 2013 at 11:44 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 12:42 PM ^
Will Maryland have to change their logo now?
Will PETA protest?
February 12th, 2013 at 1:27 PM ^
here. Meanwhile, some of us will never look at the word "Woody" in quite the same light.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:58 PM ^
This does make sense. After all I've heard that
a snapper = a box
February 12th, 2013 at 1:33 PM ^
Maybe it was a Box Turtle... get it?
/lameness
February 12th, 2013 at 1:50 PM ^
I think you just came up with a new euphamism.
Then we got drunk and I got to put it in the ole' box turtle...
February 12th, 2013 at 10:53 AM ^
I thought this was going to be about Hayes having a "turtle head" on the sideline one time.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:26 PM ^
And that would've been significantly less disturbing than what the story is actually about...
February 12th, 2013 at 10:54 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 12:35 PM ^
OK I admit it, I was surprised that this comment was not Herm's.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:55 PM ^
You like Herm because he states what most everyone was thinking.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:54 AM ^
You can't make this stuff up.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:46 PM ^
I used to think that truth was stranger than fiction, until Lennay Kekua entered our lives... but this story may have restored balance to the universe.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:55 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 10:56 AM ^
Shits fucked up.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:56 AM ^
So maybe Urban's health problems were of the mental health variety.
This is crazy.
I wonder if this is part of his recruiting pitch to 5 star players.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:58 AM ^
...would be surprised by this story. Woody Hayes was a strange (but tough, apparently) little man.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:59 AM ^
Adding Maryland to the BIG makes even less sense now.
I thought I read somewhere that after losses, Woody would hold court with the press in the locker room wearing nothing (except perhaps a snapping turtle).
February 12th, 2013 at 10:59 AM ^
Beat me to it by a few seconds. I like the way you think.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:58 AM ^
Now know why Urban does not Fear the Turtle.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:25 PM ^
If a snapping turtle was near my junk, I'd fear the turtle.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:44 PM ^
He might dislike this even more than talking about stadiums!
February 12th, 2013 at 10:59 AM ^
Could you imagine how fast a coach would be fired if he did that in today's day and age? The twitterverse would explode in minutes.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:42 PM ^
That little thing terrifies me. Would you let it bite your junk? Brrrrrr....
February 12th, 2013 at 3:40 PM ^
"No f'n Toughness!!"
February 12th, 2013 at 11:02 AM ^
This just reads like a lame punchline:
He reaches down, pokes the turtle right in the eye and it falls off. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and says, 'That's the problem. We don't have anybody in this room tough enough to do that right there.
"(One assistant) raises his hand and says, 'Coach, I'd do this. Just promise not to poke me in the eye.'"
February 12th, 2013 at 11:02 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 11:03 AM ^
W...
T......
F...........
February 12th, 2013 at 11:04 AM ^
I heard he got the idea from Bo, but Bo used to do it with an Anaconda.
February 12th, 2013 at 2:10 PM ^
Well that can't be true... Bo had a flat ass, and as we all know: Anaconda's don't want none unless you've got buns, hun.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:04 AM ^
"Toughness" is one word for it.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:36 AM ^
That's one tough turtle, no doubt
February 12th, 2013 at 11:09 AM ^
This is an example of why people like Bo, Moeller, Hoke, Desmond and Woodson leave Ohio.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:20 PM ^
for only being able to upvote your post once.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:11 AM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 1:38 PM ^
Dubs, I have used your joke several times now since I saw it almost ten minutes ago. Normally I would feel bad for stealing your material, but Mencia made it okay for all of us. Plus I am razzing OSU fans, so I'm sure you won't mind. Props to you, my friend.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:59 PM ^
This sentence made me so happy I got up today:
If I was getting turtle blowjobs on the reg, I'd probably punch a Clemson player too.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:15 AM ^
...you've gotta be tough.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:38 AM ^
Or attractive....so in Woody's case, tough (no homo).
February 12th, 2013 at 11:31 AM ^
It is entirely possible as well that Hayes was fronting a theory on what should happen to the team who loses the Ohio State - Illinois game should they choose to use a live turtle for the Illibuck Trophy. In any case, if that's the "toughness" demonstration in Columbus, I don't know if I want to hear about "determination" or "drive" and the animals involved at this point.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:19 AM ^
does anyone else see this as cruelty to an animal...? the turtle I meant...
February 12th, 2013 at 11:20 AM ^