So I wrote this today in a facebook note instead of studying when my Sparty friend asked for a prediction. I thought I'd maybe post it here for my MGoFriends.
Saturday, October 15: PREGAME
The stands are packed, the players are jacked, and the Situation is happy, because this is THE MSU-UM GAME! Denard Robinson descends from his permanent residency on Mount Olympus on the wings of cherubim, the soles of his shoes coated in the frosty dew of the morning sky, coming to a gentle landing next to Brady Hoke; the hospitals of East Lansing will be swamped in the next few hours as thousands of MSU sorority girls have swooned at the heavenly sight. Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Saturday, October 15: Coin toss
Michigan sends its team captains to the middle of the field to meet with the head thugs of the MSU Jailbirds; Mike Martin flexes his left bicep, and a stain noticeably spreads in Kirk Cousins pants. Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Saturday, October 15: Kickoff
The "Greek-warriors-in-ski-masks" have won the toss, and defer to the second half; the game should be over by then anyway. Martavious Odoms receives the kick, and returns the ball to the M-23. A chorus of angels burst in joyful harmony as Denard takes the field; he must motion them to quiet so the O-line can hear his snap count. Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Saturday, October 15: 1st Quarter
The Michigan Agricultural College Aggies fold easy on the first drive, as THE MIGHTY HOKE TROLL has been rolling with a 2-QB formation; yards are easy to come by, the Situation is angry, and Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare. The Aggies punt on their first posession, after making it close to midfield.
Saturday, October 15: 2nd Quarter
All seems in hand already after a dominant first quarter by the MEEEEEEEEEEECHIGAN WOLVERINES, as the second quarter of play begins with D. Xavier Robinson taking a snap at the Southeastern Gangsters University 23rd. But wait, what's this??? Denicos Allen looks like he has the ball off a tipped pass, and he's running up the sideline for a SPARTAN TOUCHDOWN, with 9 and 20 left in the 2nd quarter (says George "I'm boring" Blaha). The Spartan sideline is alight with hope, fury, ecstasy, and the burning light of a couch enshrouded in flame. Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Saturday, October 15: 3rd Quarter
It's 14-14; we have a football game. The 3rd quarter is a back and forth field position struggle; Green and Gold pro-combatters come out with a field goal. A flower blooms, an eagle soars. Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Saturday, October 15: 4th Quarter
After a quick 3-and-out, the Gay (NTTAWWT) Men of Sparta receive a punt, and grind down the field for 8 minutes, scoring a touchdown on a Kirk Cousin naked bootleg dash. Looks like they will Sparty On tonight. Suddenly, a terrible rending of the air is heard, like a giant woolly mammoth flatulating into the Horn of Helm's Deep; the denizens of East Lansing look left and right in TERROR, their hands clasped firmly over their ears to defend themselves from the horrible sound! As the sound dies off into the distance, the windows of the press box are seen shattered; Denard Robinson has released his battle-cry. Inspired by the awe of such rampant anger, the MEEEEEEECHIGAN OFFENSE scores 2 touchdowns back to back, and the play ends with "Little Giants" being called at MSU's own 48 yardline. The score:
UM 28 - MSU 24
Mark Dantonio looks on with a stony stare.
Sunday, October 16: 1:14 AM
Mark Dantonio sits up in bed, sleepless, walks to the kitchen, drinks a glass of water. He stonily stares into the water, contemplating its depths, the coolness of the glass, and a tear runs down his cheek. Those words echo in his mind, the same that he has dreamt of for 10 months..."This is Michigan, fergodsakes".