TWIS Ammo for Brian

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October 9th, 2011 at 9:18 AM
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Joined: 06/21/2010
MGoPoints: 14231
TWIS Ammo for Brian

OSU -

Simply put, I've seen videos of nerf balls coming out of women's special spots thrown nicer and more accurately than a Bauserman pass.

TO REPEAT:
I never...ever...ever want to see Joe Bauserman in an Ohio State uniform ever again. Period. Amen. I don't lay this on the defense at all. I lay this on the fact that Joe Bauserman is Tate Forcier minus the talent.

This was posted at halftime... halol!

Well, well, well "Haters" ... How's that for a 1st half ... On the road ... At night?! Bucks up 20-6 over Huskers. 30mins to go! O-H!

In An Open Letter to Luke Fickell and Jim Bollman

In particular, I am referring to the use of Joe Bauserman as quarterback. While his on-field struggles are well-known to anyone that has seen OSU play, one stat in particular stands out: In his career, Bauserman has a 37.5% completion rate against teams from BCS conferences.

 The Buckeye Blog headline

Bauserman Tattoo Fund Open for Donations

 

__________________________

Minnesota -

I wonder what it's like to be insane. I mean, do you know that you're insane, or do you think that you're normal and everyone else is insane?

(In response)

The greatest part about this thread is that I have no idea which of three or four posters you are referring to.

I want my kids to continue to love the gophers but I myself have a tough time saying how much fun the games are to go to them but in reality the games are awful, I am disappointed by the end of the game and the drive home stinks because I know I wasted a day watching it.


Alcohol.

And for the kids, alcohol in a sippy cup. Never too early.

________________________________

Northwestern -

Memo to cats fans: Please stop wearing the “ALL WE DO IS WIN” shirts. It’s not helping.

 

What heisman candidate are you talking about other than Denard? Are you talking about Persa? He is not a Heisman candidate you stupid fuck. You are an idiot. Please go jump in the river and die. You are stupid and don’t belong here.

 

_________________________________ 

Florida State -

I've been a fan my entire life. I come from an FSU family. I've spent the past ten years convinced that next year will be our year, and I can't do it anymore.

Oh look -- Wake Forest just broke off another inexplicable 57 yard run against FSU's supposedly great defense.

Always something, right? Always one or two plays away. Or, in this particular game, against so-called inferior Wake Forest, maybe five or six. Or six or seven. Who's counting?

I'm done guys. I'm not sure how I'll be able to enjoy college football outside of FSU, but I'm sure I'll find a way.

 

Hail.

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October 9th, 2011 at 9:20 AM | posted from iPhone (Score:5 Normal)
The Barwis Effect
The Barwis Effect's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2242

I just feel sorry for Minnesota.

"[T]here were a lot of people predicting glorious heights for Rich; mostly the same people who are predicting doom and gloom [for Hoke]. Excuse me if I doubt their prognostication skills." -- M-Wolverine

October 9th, 2011 at 9:36 AM | I do too a little (Score:5 Normal)
Hugh Jass
Hugh Jass's picture
Joined: 01/03/2011
MGoPoints: 719

HOWEVER, Glen Mason was getting Minnesota to a bowl game every year and they were very competetive under him and they fire him for Tim Brewster?  They get what they deserve in a way.  I recall fans being unhappy that the Gophers were not going to the next level with Mason......well welcome to the next level!

If someone ever invented a low fat vitamin - filled vegetable that tasted like fudge covered Rice Krispies treats - I'd probably eat better

 

 

October 9th, 2011 at 9:48 AM | Firing Mason was idiotic and arrogant (Score:3 Normal)
Tater
Tater's picture
Joined: 08/13/2008
MGoPoints: 10358

Mason performed so well that Minny forgot their place on the food chain.  I'm not really comparing him to Sparky, but his ouster does remind me of when the Tigers fired Sparky for a couple of teams that were around .500, only to watch them subeseuqently become the worst team in baseball for a few years.

It's the old saw: be careful what you ask for.  Minny's administration is getting exactly what it deserves.  Their fans and players, though, deserve better.   

 

 

 

October 9th, 2011 at 10:05 AM | The difference... (Score:1)
The Barwis Effect
The Barwis Effect's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2242

Mason overachieved at Minnesota (whether their fans realized it or not), while Sparky perennially underachieved with the Tigers.

"[T]here were a lot of people predicting glorious heights for Rich; mostly the same people who are predicting doom and gloom [for Hoke]. Excuse me if I doubt their prognostication skills." -- M-Wolverine

October 9th, 2011 at 10:12 AM | Fishing out your ill logic (Score:4 Normal)
CarrIsMyHomeboy
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 356

You can't type this *and* be dissatisfied with Michigan under the second half of Carr's career. After all, your argument seems to follow that we were winning 9 games a year and didn't have any right to want better.

Minnesota was dissatisfied with its plateau and wanted better for itself. They decided they'd like to make a gamble and risk the destruction of their above-average program for a chance to become great. It'll be a long, long process, but I don't fault them for continuously trying.

In fact, I feel for them because Kill has a solid resume, says all the right things, and seems to me one poorly timed chronic illness presentation away from right the Gopher ship.

"I have long thought that anyone who does not regularly - or ever - gaze up and see the wonder and glory of a dark night sky filled with countless stars loses a sense of their fundamental connectedness to the universe."

October 9th, 2011 at 10:34 AM | Mason buried a monkey paw on campus (Score:3 Normal)
iawolve
iawolve's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 2488

That program went down the tubes when he was let go.

October 9th, 2011 at 12:23 PM | Besides going to bowls, mason (Score:2 Normal)
m1jjb00
Joined: 11/21/2009
MGoPoints: 1416

Besides going to bowls, mason gave them an identity. I think that recruiting for the line and backs would have improved some more. A lucky year on defense and they'd have gone to the rose bowl.

October 9th, 2011 at 9:22 AM | Delicious (Score:2 Insightful)
Maizeforlife
Maizeforlife's picture
Joined: 03/03/2010
MGoPoints: 2423

OSU tears are delicious

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia - but only slightly less well-known is this: Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

October 9th, 2011 at 10:06 AM | I think Hoke has changed the (Score:5 Normal)
bdsisme
bdsisme's picture
Joined: 09/19/2010
MGoPoints: 5475

I think Hoke has changed the tide on the rivalry. Hell people in Ohio are starting to believe him. Never in a million years I would have thought that. Selling Michigan jerseys is a good start.

"It would be a travesty, it would be ridiculous to all of a sudden come back and get the feeling back, get the health back, feel good again and then all of a sudden go throw some other colors on my shirt and go coach."

October 9th, 2011 at 11:56 AM | ... (Score:5 Normal)
FuManBlue
FuManBlue's picture
Joined: 01/20/2010
MGoPoints: 1273

Whoosh!



I'm kind of a big deal in Bolivia.

October 9th, 2011 at 1:40 PM | This picture says enough (Score:3 Normal)
randyfloyd
randyfloyd's picture
Joined: 08/19/2008
MGoPoints: 1040

It's tough being Blue in Columbus!!!

October 9th, 2011 at 10:18 AM | you can't root for tsio (Score:5 Normal)
maquih
Joined: 11/04/2010
MGoPoints: 94

the divisions be damned, i was rooting for nebraska the whole way.

Now with Rocket-arm passing action!

October 9th, 2011 at 11:02 AM | posted from iPhone (Score:3 Normal)
MGoRyan
Joined: 08/18/2011
MGoPoints: 225

Agreed. I don't care about divisions. I can never cheer for Ohio.

October 9th, 2011 at 9:22 AM | I feel for Minnesota also (Score:1)
coldnjl
Joined: 12/31/2009
MGoPoints: 2427

But how do they turn it around. They have a very little recruiting base and it seems all of the top players that do have, they go ND or somewhere else...

October 9th, 2011 at 9:25 AM | That First Quote (Score:5 Normal)
LSAClassOf2000
LSAClassOf2000's picture
Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 8708

That first quote from 11W has forever changed my perspective on Nerf balls. 

"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."

Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3

October 9th, 2011 at 8:07 PM | Yeah, I guess we know what he (Score:1)
M-Dog
M-Dog's picture
Joined: 07/06/2008
MGoPoints: 6366

Yeah, I guess we know what he does at work.

M'Dog

October 9th, 2011 at 9:31 AM | Their University Administration (Score:1)
w2j2
Joined: 11/23/2008
MGoPoints: 411

does not support football.

It is just like the Lions under GM Matt Millen.

Minnesota must change their University President before they can change their Athletic Director, then their coach.

October 9th, 2011 at 10:08 AM | I dont know that they dont (Score:4 Normal)
TrueBlueinVA
Joined: 02/03/2011
MGoPoints: 48

I dont know that they dont have support, They just built the football team a brand new stadium, i think that shows some sort of support

 

Thank God for the United States Marines

October 9th, 2011 at 10:02 AM | thanks for this! (Score:1)
michiganfanforlife
michiganfanforlife's picture
Joined: 05/05/2009
MGoPoints: 944

I laughed several times reading this...my favorite was the tatoo comment

What a game! I can't say enough about all the great coaching these guys are getting. Watching our defense strip the ball over and over again in games is so much fun. I would say that the turnovers we create will help us win a couple games we shouldn't on the rest of the schedule.

October 9th, 2011 at 10:20 AM | I must admit (Score:3 Funny)
Crime Reporter
Crime Reporter's picture
Joined: 12/19/2008
MGoPoints: 8040

I giggled like a school girl watching that collapse last night.

Christ in me arise and dispel all the darkness.

October 9th, 2011 at 11:08 AM | The fact is over the long duration Minnesota football (Score:1)
markusr2007
markusr2007's picture
Joined: 10/21/2008
MGoPoints: 3419

has been mediocre.

Jerry Kill is a good coach. Minny AD made a fatal mistake hiring a career TE position coach (not an HC, not a coordinator) in Tim Brewster.  Recruiting suffered.  Kill will turn them around over time.

Mason did a great job for Minny, but he's too old to coach now.

Gutekunst did a nice job with Holtz's recruits and wishbone methodology.

Other than that you'd have to go back to Cal Stoll's last few teams (Wendell Avery, Marion Barber I) and Murray Warmath for anything decent. Minnesota is an average Big Ten football team.

So while I understand the sadness of Gopher fans right now, things will get better under Kill. First years typically do suck badly.

October 9th, 2011 at 8:22 PM | From what I understand, (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 28961

From what I understand, Minnesota's recruiting actually got better Brewster.  He just did a very poor job with that talent.

October 9th, 2011 at 11:18 AM | I liked this resigned (Score:3 Normal)
Captain
Captain's picture
Joined: 06/12/2009
MGoPoints: 11602

I liked this resigned foreshadowing from the OSU thread:

"I'm sorry, but if we can't corral Taylor Martinez, who can only run and throws like a 7th grader, then we have ZERO chance of containing Denard."

Colors That Float

October 9th, 2011 at 11:21 AM | Kenny Guiton (and whatever (Score:1)
bluetell
bluetell's picture
Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 4770

Kenny Guiton (and whatever other backups they have) must be just horrible if they continue to put Bauserman in

Rudy watches inspirational movies about Shawn Hunwick

 

October 9th, 2011 at 11:23 AM | And this slice of TWIS (Score:1)
macdaddy
macdaddy's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1010

is only about the B1G. I'm sure Florida State and Texas fans are a bit unhappy this morning as well.

October 9th, 2011 at 1:57 PM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
exmtroj
exmtroj's picture
Joined: 10/24/2008
MGoPoints: 2211

I was in Austin last night. There was an odd sense of detachment, almost like no one cared or expected them to win

 

 

"All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch"

October 9th, 2011 at 11:30 AM | I want to know how many hours (Score:1)
bdsisme
bdsisme's picture
Joined: 09/19/2010
MGoPoints: 5475

I want to know how many hours Brian puts into TWIS.  I would imagine that visiting all these message boards just to find a couple "money quotes" is quite time-consuming; then he has to add his witty remarks, which are so fluid that they seem off-the-cuff, but undoubtedly also take a good amount of time to perfect.

"It would be a travesty, it would be ridiculous to all of a sudden come back and get the feeling back, get the health back, feel good again and then all of a sudden go throw some other colors on my shirt and go coach."

October 9th, 2011 at 12:06 PM | Personally... (Score:1 Normal)
4godkingandwolv...
4godkingandwolverines's picture
Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3489

... I'm kinda over TWIS.  At first I thought it was funny, but then I started feeling like it was quite petty of me to take joy in other people's suffering.  I'm to the point where all I want is for Michigan to win.  I don't care what happens to other teams, because if Michigan wins all their games, it frankly doesn't matter.

Besides, I can't help but feel that half the comments on those boards are trolls trying to further upset people, and that's such a vindictive thing to do, it could only be perpetrated by people who really have little joy in life.   

Do Something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn't, do something else.

October 9th, 2011 at 12:56 PM | Schadenfreude (Score:3 Normal)
EGD
EGD's picture
Joined: 09/16/2009
MGoPoints: 1863

All of your points are well taken.  But damn that shit's funny.

"You will suffer humiliation when the team from my area defeats the team from your area." -- The Onion

October 9th, 2011 at 1:54 PM | That second Buckeye fan (Score:4 Normal)
WolverineHistorian
WolverineHistorian's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 5123

That second Buckeye fan sounds almost exactly like me after the 08 OSU game when I said I never want to see Nick Sheridan start another game at Michigan again.  But this is long overdue karma for that fanbase. 

Florida State...I loved seeing them lose for the 3rd straight time.  I've always hated the Seminoles.  And I said all September it was insane to rank them #5 in the nation.  They have not beat a legit top 10 team in several years and have been bad to medicore in the crappy ACC conference during that time as well.  I never understood why they were getting so much hype. 

Can't laugh at Minnesota.  Losing to a crappy ass Purdue team has to sting (it stung for us in 08 and 09).  That's a team that should be rewarded with some more happiness, except when they play Michigan.

That second Northwestern fan, VERY harsh.  When you get that angry and start sounding like a Buckeye fan, that's about as low as you can go. 

Go Blue!  Always!

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