is an exclusive interview with Jim Tressel upon being hired at Akron:
(turns to assistant) Where the hell am I?
Tressel: Ahh yes, Akron. The Bobcats, right?
Assistant: Um, no, the Zips
Tressel: What the hell is...oh nevermind. Ladies and gentleman, I can assure you that you will be proud of our young people in the classroom, in the community and most especially in 310 days in *turns to assistant again and whispers* who is our biggest rival? Kent State? Ok then. Most especially in 310 days in Ann Arbor, Michi...er I mean, in Kent, Ohio, on the football field.
Assistant: Ok, it's time to leave.
Tressel: *whispers* ok, time to get out of here *loudly* AND PAY SOME KIDS TO TURN THIS SHITTY TEAM AROUND
Tressel: Damnit, did I just say the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud? Back to the NFL for me! Sell the blue and gold sweater vests.