"Are you kidding me? They have been pretending to investigate us for years, but everyone knows that they won't touch us. In fact, we don't even try to follow NCAA guidelines. We have found that they hinder our recruiting."
- Pete Carroll
"Yes, I realize that we have Pryor listed as our preseason Big Ten player of the year again, even though he is a mediocre QB. I would have voted for someone else, but I don't actually watch the games so I only know about the players that they talk about on ESPN."
- Anonymous AP voter
"I'll have a #2, a #6, a #8, and a #11, super-sized, with DIET coke, because I'm looking to trim down. Pull up to the next window? Sounds good."
- Charlie Weis
"I honestly believe if we had any actual evidence to substantiate our claims I would not have lost my job."
- Michael Rosenberg
"Yeah, so I got these jeans from somebody. I ain't tellin' who, 'cause you know, eveybody gets pants from someone else,"
Terrell Pryor, after tOSU is put on 5-yr probation following extensive 5-mo investigation of why he didn't attend Lawry's Beef Bowl, due to not being dressed properly. The FBI-led investigation revealed that a Yemeni financier and tOSU graduate had been secretly funneling money to Pryor and planned to utilize Pryor's Nike Pro Combat undergarments to sneak explosives into the Horseshoe for the 2010 UM/tOSU game.
"Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever." -Terrelle Pryor
in 2010 that he did in 2009, then you might want to edit that entry....
"No, I don't know who Stan van Gundy is and I don't care,"
- former UF head football coach Steve Addazio who was relieved of his duties following UF's win in the SEC championship and birth in the BCS national championship game in favor of Urban Meyer's return to the sidelines.
"Our guys have worked hard, and within NCAA limits, Damn Rosenberg. Anyway, I'm very proud of our guys and I'm very excited to be headed to Glendale."
-Rich Rodriguez upon completion of 12-0 season and beating OSU
(referring to Blake Griffin being surrounded by Dora the Explorer dolls at Clippers' practice)
"They need to send some of those Dora... situations to my daughters."
Speaking of Jalen, I still love his comment on lebron a few years ago
“Like I told the guys earlier, once he turns 21 and is able to drink, it’s over.”
" I thought we were allowed a certain amount of violations each year, sort of like mulligans in golf or affairs in your marriage. This stuff is very confusing."
- Lane Kiffin
"Damn, we lost. We hates those pricks so much, we hates them! We didn't remember how much this hurts, we'll be back in Couch Burning Town in 2011 with REVENGE in our minds! Arrogant-- they don't even represent Michigan. Vince Smith is only this tall! Ah, I hate this job."
--Mark Dantonio at a press conference shortly after having been beaten in Ann Arbor by a fine 52-10 margin. Cone, who walks-on for his fifth year throws the last touchdown.
I'm staying at Notre Dame to coach you in the Little Caesars Bowl."
- Brian Kelley, whose name has been linked to several NFL Head Coach openings.
"With the no. 2 pick the Detroit Lions select Nada.. Nadamn... En-dom-ah-ken Suh, defensive tackle, Nebraska."
"Naga...Naga...Naga...Not going to play here here anymore, anyway."
-Bob Porter, consultant for Nebraska
"Glenn Winston's been a real champ about spending two consecutive summers in jail. We eagerly look forward to his return to the team in the fall."
"Come on guys, you had to have done the same thing to your kids when you were parents. I told him to go into the dark closet to think about what he had done, and I forgot I locked him in there. Is this really such a big deal? It's just a dark closet. How was I supposed to know he was afraid of the dark."
-Mike Leach (Next Week)
"Okay guys, this is it. Now remember, ski masks on at my signal."
"As you know the Big Ten Network is always looking to break ground in new areas of programming. We feel that our new B10 tie in with the popular COPS franchise will become a cornerstone of our network. The producers have already expressed interest in working closely with the MSU athletic department."
If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."
Tiger Woods from his book "Q School for Bachelors"
from his book "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey?
"I just want to thank the guys in compliance for finding this loophole, and I want to thank Coach Rodriguez for welcoming me back to the team for another season."
-Brandon Graham, upon finding out that because of a little known rule change, he has a year of eligibility left and will return to Michigan for his super-senior season.
"What? So sue me. They had it coming. The starters refused to come out of the game until the late fourth quarter..."
Rich Rod's postgame press conference after Michigan ripped MSU at home, 43-13 in front of a sellout crowd.
"I'm sorry officer, I don't know how that dolphin got a black eye. You see, I just lost my job..."
- Michael Rosenberg
"We are pleased that all of Florida's recruits decided to commit to us in light of the Urban Meyer situation, and we're sure they will enjoy their time here.
"How are we going to sign all of them? Who cares? I don't have time for that shit."
- Nick Satan, Alabama coach
In light of the entire Florida recruiting class changing over to Alabama, I am announcing that I will be changing my weekly fellate-o-rama from Urban Meyer to Nick Saban. I will always cherish our time together, Urban.
"We first allowed our players to vote on whether to play in a bowl game and they overwhelmingly approved. However, after realizing that at 6-6 we risked a losing season with yet another embarrassing loss, we just figured staying home and being able to claim a non-losing season was better. The seniors understand."
Notre Dame Athletic Directord
"Due to the financial constraints we have currently at Ford Motor Co., and the need for an influx of cash flow, we have collectively decided to sell the Lions franchise to Mike Ilich. Besides, we didn't really know what the hell we were doing anyway. Had you fooled right?"
-Statement from the Ford Family.
the actress eve said this:
"something vegetarian, like grilled cheese, or chicken fingers."
a real bright one, that one is.
"Ive decided to play my collegiate ball at...the University of Michigan"
-Sean Parker on NSD
"I have decided to use my final year of eligibilty and return to the University of Michigan to get my degree and beat the buckeyes"
"That Lost finale was an extraordinary letdown to the biggest buildup in the history of television."
-Me, in about May
WHY IS WALT THE CHOSEN ONE WITH MAGICAL POWERS IN SEASON 1 AND FORGOTTEN BY SEASON 3!? YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS!!
Because over three years a boy who was twelve when the show started has aged considerably more than the 90 days spent on the island
Alan: What is this, a snake skin?
sung by Yanks to the English National team as they shuffle out of Royal Bafokeng Stadium, having been upset 5-0.
"I really had no idea his head was attached that poorly. If I had, I never would have hit him that hard."
Trevor Barnes, admin, RCMB:
"In celebration of our NIT championship, we are going to see how many couches we can donate to homeless shelters."
"After careful consideration and counseling from many people I look up to including Coach Spurrier, I've decided to accept the position with the Jaguars and am looking forward to continuing my relationship with Tim as a professional."
"Adam James is still in the closet. But when he comes out I'll change my previous quote to fat little boyfriends just for him"
Sorry I know its not exactly 2010 exclusive
"I still have love for the game. I'm looking forward to meeting my new teammates."
also not 2010 exclusive
"Well, Oprah, it took a while but I guess I finally came to terms that its an addiction, just like anything else."
Oprah - "And that's why there were so many of them?"
Tiger - "Well, that . . . and I just really wanted to beat Phil."
"I'm being fired for this?"
- Pam Ward
- Billy Lynch
- Jim Leyland
"Not So Fast My Friend!"
- Lee Corso, referring to Michigan's comeback win against OSU.