Firstbase

July 20th, 2010 at 4:37 PM ^

T-minus...

...and counting...

OHbornUMfan

July 20th, 2010 at 4:06 PM ^

I hope that Ezeh busts out an amazing year to make all of us who have besmirched his playing ability feel . . . good about motivating him.  I'm not counting on this happening, but it could happen, and if it did, it would be wicked sweet.

MGoRobo

July 20th, 2010 at 4:13 PM ^

I hope all my maize-and-blue-goggled thoughts come true and Obi and Mouton become a force to be reckoned with...that would be wonderful.

joeyb

July 20th, 2010 at 4:18 PM ^

Pic 1: Ninja moves and speed.

Pic 2: Ninja Punch

Pic 3: Ninja kick

Pic 4: Ninja cuddling

I guess we need to add LB Ninjas next to Slot Ninjas on our list of Ninjas on our team.

MGlobules

July 20th, 2010 at 5:22 PM ^

this afternoon that instead of giving myself until Xmas to finish drafting my dissertation I was going to just drop EVERYTHING and go balls-to-the-wall writing for six weeks and I was sure I could BE THERE. Forty-five days is f'ing fantastic!!! What the heck else was I going to do between now and then anyway?

You have made my day, Shoe! See you in 45. . . and counting.

MGoShoe

July 20th, 2010 at 10:50 PM ^

...is not on board with the linebacking corps:

[In the voice of Fred Jackson]

Linebackers

Look, I miss Stevie Brown already. What does that tell you? Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I miss STEVIE MOTHERFUCKING BROWN. The guy wasn’t good enough to be a safety for MICH for CHIRSTSAKE, so he gets bumped to linebacker, where he instantly becomes THE BEST LINEBACKER WE HAD. Crap, he even understood that letting the other teams score points was bad.

The linebackers this year are a bag of wet cement, Obi Ezeh, Jonas Mouton, a tired looked maple sapling, and a bunch of underclassmen that I don’t even know by name because they don’t exist. Seriously, we just made up Kenny Demens. Demens was just Toussaint moonlighting in a second jersey because we literally didn’t have anyone else on the roster. Isaiah Bell, we lied and told the media he is switching to linebacker. Paul Gyarmati or Rasheed Furrha, good grief, if those don’t scream fake names I don’t know what name does! God I want to cry. We just made up a bunch of recruits to make people happy. We really only have four linebackers, two of them are inanimate. and the inanimate ones might be the better options this year.

The bag of moist cement can hit pretty dang well and the tree, while only about four and a half foot high, can at least knock some passed down. Ezeh tries so hard, but just doesn’t understand that the other team can throw the ball. Mouton – the other day I was playing fetch with my dog, and faked throwing the tennis ball across the street. Rex stood still, Mouton chased the fake throw for 32 yards. 

GERG has been working with the bag of cement since February in illegal practice sessions and the fucker is still offsides on 3 out of 5 plays.  A damp bag of cement might be the best linebacker we have, and it keeps tipping over the line of scrimmage. Maybe I can find a job with the Raiders in the off-season to go hang out with Stevie?

briangoblue

July 21st, 2010 at 12:18 AM ^

A little harsh on the WLA's part. Ezeh and Mouton have some talent and experience, but they just looked completely lost out there. Some of their bad habits and mental miscues could be remedied by coaching, so here's hoping GERG can work his magic and keep his troops eyes focused on him with one of those blindingly maize shirts.

MGoShoe

July 21st, 2010 at 8:58 AM ^

...they do, this was satirical.  You have to read the whole piece for the context -- "Jackson" is quoted talking up the offense and special teams in equally ridiculous positive fashion.

It's a commentary less on the actual skills of the various units and more on the speculation about the skills of the various units.

briangoblue

July 21st, 2010 at 4:24 PM ^

Caught the Fred Jackson piece and now see the light. The problem is, I could picture some fans flogging our linebackers in such a fashion after last year. I should've known better, having stood in the provision line at the WLA a few times.