Stay classy, Buckeye fans.....

This was a helluva laugh. I love this caveat:

"I've attached a photo of myself so you don't think I'm some creepy old man!"

I don't think this guy's definition of "creepy old man" is the same as everyone else's definition

his creative use of capitalization. HUMMER, TRADE, GOOD, IE. Very necessary.

EXT. - DUBLIN, OHIO - DAY

A SHORT, INSECURE MAN IS RECORDING VIDEO OF A WOMAN IN A BIKINI WASHING HIS CAR IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX PARKING LOT

"It applies the Armor All in a clockwise motion. Yeah that's good. Oh yeah... CAREFUL! Don't get any on the rims you stupid bit... OK just forget it. Goddammit, let's just move on to the vanity plate. OK nice and soapy. It traces the letters... (/whispers - Ay.. that's nice...  ell.. Pee... H... eMm.. Ay... ell.. yeah, that's right..) What?.. No it doesn't say Alf Mall! It says ALPHA MALE! I'm the Alpha Male! Look, just shut up and wash. You want these tickets or not? OK, next we're gonna do the back window but don't go near the Calvin peeing sticker. The scUM M is starting to come off. Huh? Of COURSE with the sponge. What did you think you were just gonna hose it off?"

FADE OUT

SCENE

You know there's some redneck rocker-type begging his wife and/or daughter to do it for him.  "C'mon, hun, I'll take you ta see the 'Merican Eyedul tour next summer!"