State fans only drink Smirnoff Ice.
Sparty Hate Thread (Day 3)
With a Jolly Rancher dropped in for added flavor and gayness
or zima with skittles. they call it skittle-lee-brew. true story
this generation's version of Bartles and Jaymes. So much to pick on with little brother, so little time.
dude i totally iced a bro at cedar village
I love how every slutty girl I knew in HS went to MSU, not just some of them, all of them.
Got prego and dropped out. But of the ones that went to college, MSU was the place.
really weird how this is universally true for high schools in michigan. +1 to you
I kinda like Sparty, because you need to call someone Lil Brother.
Ok, I really hate them but I make a good point... right?
The top of a Spartan's head! BURN!
can't have an orgasm unless they kill a dog.
That's just what I heard somewhere.
it helps if they simulaneously burn couches.
What's this in reference to? (dogs, not the couches) I need ammo for the in-laws this week...
from an old Penny Arcade comic. Dunno why it came to mind in this case.
I also heard if you need a good deal on a computer, they are the people to talk to.
if you know an engineer who is also a state fan or alum, tell their five year old son that the spartans like to beat up engineers, like his daddy. you can see the internal conflict of rooting for the spartans, who his father loves but also rooting for someone who hates his father. this is how wolverines are born.
That's deep. Like Star Wars deep.
Manipulation of the children of Spartie? Man, that is low. Extremely funny and effective, but low.
My cousin went to Michigan and her husband is a Spartie grad. When their first child was born, my cousin's father immediately began teaching the kid to say "Poor old Spartie" and now he runs around saying it all the time. I can see the kid's father die inside a little bit every time he hears it. Good stuff!
I explained to my five year old that, because michigan state football players set things on fire and beat up kids that go to their school, they have to be in prison all week until saturday, when they get to play a football game. Then they all have to go back to prison until the next game. It's not technically true, but it should be.
My Uncle is an OSU fan and I have converted his two sons to Michigan fans, it's one of my greatest accomplishments.
I hate MSU because when I travel people get the 2 schools confused. People think MSU sucked, Michigan sucked. Then I have to explain the little brother thing all over.
Where the hell are you traveling where people get UM confused with MSU? Have you been frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee?
Have you been frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee?
I'm pretty sure that's one of the boroughs in East Lansing.
About 50% of the time, the fine people of Rhode Island invariably see the Michigan M and ask, "did you go to Michigan State?"
But then again, pretty much everything Rhode Islanders do is wrong. Is part of their state's culture.
Has happened to me many times. Then again, I live in the DC area where the college athletics of large, midwestern, public universities isn't a huge priority.
It's a magical place called Arizona, where the plants never grow and are prickly. I've had several people there try to convince me that there is no Michigan: Just Michigan State. They had never heard of a "University of Michigan". They still didn't get it after I pointed that there is an Arizona and Arizona State.
Now that I've finished my tangent, fuck the spartys. They contribute nothing to college football and the world in general.
Come now, they at least contribute gonorrhea.
From places like Florida and Georgia to even closer home like Indiana. In Indiana all the schools have more unique names - Purdue, IU, and ND. It is a hard concept to differ between the names Michigan and Michigan State.
Same thing happened to me at home in Chicago, believe it or not. Makes me cringe every time it happens.
I don't know how you found this, but it is hilarious.
And stuff like that.
Wow I really hope I don't miss his live show...
in the fridge and NO BEER = fruitcake frat boy.
Yikes. Wow. Just wow.
Notice the glade plug-in (4:15 in) to try and mask the ungodly stink of E. Lansing.
Ohmigosh, and over heeeeeeere is where I keep all of my matches and lighter fluuuuid. It's, like, gonna be super useful for when we need to party and we don't have enough space for activities in our big living room and we need to go outside and burn some stuffffff. But, like, you know how that goes because, like, I always get crazy when I'm sipping my diet pepssssssi.
You can't spell motherfuckin' narcissistic navel-gazing.
There is simply nothing to add to this masterpiece. Res ipsa loquitur.
I do not have anything creative to say...I just really fucking hate michigan state and 95% of their fans...
I grew up in East Lansing so many, many of my best friends went to MSU. Every time this game rolls around, though, I do not hear a peep from them about it. Why? No one has made good on our $10 bet on the 2004 Braylonfest game yet. Deadbeats, cheapskates and cowards all.
Late at night Sparty fans come out to prowl and forage. So what do they do? Since they don't plan ahead their best option at this point is to hit the local Speedy Mart for snacks and groceries...hence Speedy Mart Spartans.
Until Recently I never really cared about MSU fans or their football program. They were the little rat that always got their ass handed to them and historically have never really been a factor in our domination. Sure I get excited for the game but I don't live in Spartyville. My hatred is for the team down south!
My hatred began after our loss in 2008 and intesified after the loss in 2009. This doesn't have to do with losing to them but rather their attitude towards us on beating us. Sparty fans act like they won a National Title and beat us 56-0. And they act like they beat us during a banner year were it affected our Big Ten title! WTF!!
They beat the FUCKING WORST 2 TEAMS IN OUR PROGRAMS HISTORY, BARELY!! Their classless uneducated fan base is what pisses me off about them. It's ok after the next few seasons they will all return to basketball fans, once again!
Thanks, I feel better now
I love that, when I visted my friend at State, I saw the following sign:
Sheep Research and Teaching Institute
If you don't respect that, you don't respect greatness.
They're teaching the sheep!
Hmmmm....that's probably not all they're doing.
I know, that was baaaaaaaaad.
ZE SHEEP VILL ONLY LEARN VITH DISCIPLINE!
And buggery. Discipline and buggery.
HOw about just Spartan Spartans? I think Spartan is just a grocery chain for Mid-Michigan, so that would be even less relevant than Jewel-Osco?
Anyways, as I was photographing Spartan Stadium, I stumbled across a little construction trailer. It seems that they are looking to renovate their stadium so that they can be more like thier big brother. So I wandered into the trailer and saw the plans. It looks like they are going to add concertina wire and guard towers so the players feel more at home.
State fans are like the guy who puts his entire paycheck in his wallet to go out to the bar. In the end flashing all 6 of his $20 bills didn't get him laid and now he has to make it on a quarter tank of gas until next pay day.
Sparty you are mediocre on a good day. Enjoy your mishandled success while it lasts.
One of my favorite things about UM-MSU week is hearing MSU morons saying really dumb shit in person or on the radio. If I have to endure an entire week of these 5 topics from MSU fans I might kill someone.
- Did you even go to Michigan?
- UMASS lost to you by 5
- ND would have won if Crist played
- Greg Jones can control Denard
- You can't play that style in the Big Ten
Out of all of these #1 pisses me off the most. Did I go to UM? NO. I have lived 20 mins from the stadium my entire life though and am from Ann Arbor. Did I get accepted to UM out of high school. Yes. Why didn't I go? I got a schlorship to play baseball at a smaller school (that actually didn't have a football team when I was there). I have never missed a game in person or on TV since I was 5, and I am 25 now. I love the school and program as much as anyone and have paid for my portion of season tickets every year for the last 9 years. I know people from MSU think people like me aren't true fans, to which I say go fuck yourself.
You hit the nail on the head, my friend. Those are easily the top 5 MSU topics. I always piss MSU fans off when they ask me if I went to Michigan. I say no, but I got accepted to MSU, but DIDN'T get accepted to GVSU right out of high school (ended up transferring to GVSU the next year). That shuts them right up.
I answer No. But my two brothers and I were born at U of M Hospital in Ann Arbor. I believe this allows me to support the school.
Even though we were all born there, one of my brothers turned out to be a douchey Sparty supporter. I will be bringing him to the game on Saturday. I might be able to help free him from this madness. (This will be his second game at Michigan Stadium - he is yet to visit Spartan Stadium).
All you need to say is that you are a fan of Michigan. The number one thing that pisses me off about MSU students is that they all need to say that they got accepted to UofM but decided not to go.
But I do like your list. Typically when I see away game fans in AA I always say, "Welcome to Ann Arbor!" I have to tweak my kind greeting this week.
No actual chance of killing somebody, good luck coming up with something to greet them with this week.
why start a hate thread for our 3rd biggest rival?
4th, don't forget about ND!
Hell, some of us might even put ND over our second biggest rivalry. Long live the Jug!
i love my jug
Every time my MSU friends call me a WalMart Wolverine, I remind them that MSU was MSC until 1955. MSC = MIchigan State College of Agriculture and Applied Science. Then in 1955 they became Michigan State UNIVERSITY of Agriculture and Applied Science. Then morphing again into Michigan State University in 1964. If you ever really want to get under a Sparty's skin, refuse to call it MSU - keep referring to it as "MSC" (same place/different name). It infuriates them. Here's their rat tail of a fight song with MSC in it, not MSU: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwDaIgpH8rQ&feature=related
For keeping Value City Furniture in business because of their riots. Seriously, why are matches and kerosene so cheap? Shouldn't they have a Sparty tax in EL or something?
I always let the pizza delivery driver state grad hang out for a few minutes and catch a little bit of the game ;-)
but I don't tip. "why would I tip for something I could do myself"
I do tip my urologist.
I took a Sparty's toothbrush and rubbed it on my weiner today
You might wanna lay low for a while....
I don't really think he's trying too hard if he pushed one down a flight of stairs yesterday.
because of your avatar.
Good call. I wasn't even thinking about that
I took a Sparty's toothbrush and rubbed it on my weiner today
you better get your penis checked. hard telling what was on that toothbrush.
Oh, I don't hate everything that eminates from MSU. With the destruction of WQRS all those years ago (former Detroit Classical Station), WKAR occasionally has to fill the bill when I want to listen to classical music on the radio. Also, they do have a nice campus.
for me to poop on!
Not sure if this will translate well, but after moving to Washington DC, I randomly ran into a kid from my hometown in Michigan at a bar. We were on the same baseball teams as kids, but were a few years apart and hadn't talked in probably 10 years. I'm having a nice conversation with him and his friends, when eventually someone asks where I went to school. As soon as I mentioned Michigan, the attitude of the entire group went into psycho defensive mode (all Sparty grads). I'm pretty sure the first comment (completely unrelated to anything) was "you know we beat you guys in hockey last year, right? Our football team is going to be much better this year too. (2006)" . The conversation immediately went completely awkward as anything I said was spun into a self confirmation on the part of Sparty about how their sports teams were better than Michigan or getting better. Again, not sure this translated into MGOBlog, but it was one of the most immediate shifts in conversation I have ever witnessed. At the time, I was kind of shocked at how uptight all of them got as soon as they heard the word "Michigan".
Q: What's difference between East Lansing and a garbage dump?
This MSU guy I know keeps posting things on FB about how UM fans are white trash, the Wal-Mart Wolverine thing. I respond:
So let me get this straight. You can't make fun of our football program because it has dominated MSU for 100 years. You can't make fun of our students or alumni because they're incredibly successful. You can't make fun of our institution because it's among the best in the world in undergraduate education, medicine, law, business, etc. So you decide to make fun of us because HS dropout nascar fans call themselves fans of our football team? That's like making fun of a guy because ugly people jack off to his victoria's secret model girlfriend. Those walmart wolverines are fans of UM football because we WIN SHIT. Nobody outside of MSU gives two squirts of piss about MSU football because it sucks. This is not rocket science.
for chanting we lost to duke, but we beat the cops one year
I like that everyone has been talking up the MSU D as the first "REAL" defense that we may be facing, but I have a question - what's the difference between MSU's defense and Notre Dame's? They both have suspect D-line play, great linebacker in Teo and Jones, and then average to better secondary play? So while this will be a tough game I am thinking that this is one we can win? Thoughts?
i heard that kirk cousins still wets the bed
Can't wait to hear Sparty say "Wait till Basketball season".
And this kicks off the normal season downward spiral for Sparty to finish 5-7.
OSU is UM rival, MSU is tick on a dogs ass.
Thanks to the OP for continuing the hate theme. I was undecided between letting it peter out or giving it a theme but it looks like we've still got a lot of unregulated emotion to vent.