Sparty Hate Thread (Day 3)
A sequel to:
http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/sparty-hate-thread-day-2
I have a thought concerning this whole Wal Mart Wolverine thing that I just brought up to a friend (copy and pasted):
I think in corporate terms it's a compliment. We're the mega giants of the academic/athletic world the same way Wal Mart rules the supermarket world. I think MSU would technically be considered Jewel-Osco because they only have relevance in one state and even then they are overrun by the competition. So, yes, you can call them Jewel-Osco Spartans.
October 5th, 2010 at 7:49 AM ^
State fans only drink Smirnoff Ice.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:06 AM ^
With a Jolly Rancher dropped in for added flavor and gayness
October 5th, 2010 at 11:52 AM ^
or zima with skittles. they call it skittle-lee-brew. true story
October 5th, 2010 at 10:12 AM ^
this generation's version of Bartles and Jaymes. So much to pick on with little brother, so little time.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:11 AM ^
dude i totally iced a bro at cedar village
October 5th, 2010 at 8:13 AM ^
I love how every slutty girl I knew in HS went to MSU, not just some of them, all of them.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:34 AM ^
Got prego and dropped out. But of the ones that went to college, MSU was the place.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:42 AM ^
really weird how this is universally true for high schools in michigan. +1 to you
October 5th, 2010 at 8:19 AM ^
I kinda like Sparty, because you need to call someone Lil Brother.
Ok, I really hate them but I make a good point... right?
October 5th, 2010 at 8:21 AM ^
The top of a Spartan's head! BURN!
October 5th, 2010 at 8:26 AM ^
BOOM MGoRoasted!
October 5th, 2010 at 8:20 AM ^
can't have an orgasm unless they kill a dog.
That's just what I heard somewhere.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:51 AM ^
it helps if they simulaneously burn couches.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:54 AM ^
What's this in reference to? (dogs, not the couches) I need ammo for the in-laws this week...
October 5th, 2010 at 9:58 AM ^
from an old Penny Arcade comic. Dunno why it came to mind in this case.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:57 AM ^
I heard Michigan players can't have an orgasm unless they're standing outside of a girl's window.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:47 AM ^
I also heard if you need a good deal on a computer, they are the people to talk to.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:48 AM ^
Cut out the middleman, and go right to the source, Dion's dad, who is (was) a UM employee.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:28 AM ^
if you know an engineer who is also a state fan or alum, tell their five year old son that the spartans like to beat up engineers, like his daddy. you can see the internal conflict of rooting for the spartans, who his father loves but also rooting for someone who hates his father. this is how wolverines are born.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:32 AM ^
That's deep. Like Star Wars deep.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:13 AM ^
Manipulation of the children of Spartie? Man, that is low. Extremely funny and effective, but low.
My cousin went to Michigan and her husband is a Spartie grad. When their first child was born, my cousin's father immediately began teaching the kid to say "Poor old Spartie" and now he runs around saying it all the time. I can see the kid's father die inside a little bit every time he hears it. Good stuff!
October 5th, 2010 at 11:48 AM ^
I explained to my five year old that, because michigan state football players set things on fire and beat up kids that go to their school, they have to be in prison all week until saturday, when they get to play a football game. Then they all have to go back to prison until the next game. It's not technically true, but it should be.
October 5th, 2010 at 1:48 PM ^
My Uncle is an OSU fan and I have converted his two sons to Michigan fans, it's one of my greatest accomplishments.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:28 AM ^
I hate MSU because when I travel people get the 2 schools confused. People think MSU sucked, Michigan sucked. Then I have to explain the little brother thing all over.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:31 AM ^
Where the hell are you traveling where people get UM confused with MSU? Have you been frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee?
October 5th, 2010 at 8:35 AM ^
Have you been frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee?
I'm pretty sure that's one of the boroughs in East Lansing.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:06 AM ^
About 50% of the time, the fine people of Rhode Island invariably see the Michigan M and ask, "did you go to Michigan State?"
But then again, pretty much everything Rhode Islanders do is wrong. Is part of their state's culture.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:41 AM ^
Has happened to me many times. Then again, I live in the DC area where the college athletics of large, midwestern, public universities isn't a huge priority.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:42 AM ^
It's a magical place called Arizona, where the plants never grow and are prickly. I've had several people there try to convince me that there is no Michigan: Just Michigan State. They had never heard of a "University of Michigan". They still didn't get it after I pointed that there is an Arizona and Arizona State.
Now that I've finished my tangent, fuck the spartys. They contribute nothing to college football and the world in general.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:50 AM ^
Come now, they at least contribute gonorrhea.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:53 AM ^
From places like Florida and Georgia to even closer home like Indiana. In Indiana all the schools have more unique names - Purdue, IU, and ND. It is a hard concept to differ between the names Michigan and Michigan State.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:08 AM ^
Probably just because of MSU's recent success in basketball.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:56 AM ^
Same thing happened to me at home in Chicago, believe it or not. Makes me cringe every time it happens.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:33 AM ^
"You're an official college student! What's up!"
October 5th, 2010 at 8:50 AM ^
I don't know how you found this, but it is hilarious.
And stuff like that.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:23 AM ^
Wow I really hope I don't miss his live show...
October 5th, 2010 at 9:41 AM ^
in the fridge and NO BEER = fruitcake frat boy.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:12 AM ^
Yikes. Wow. Just wow.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:13 AM ^
Notice the glade plug-in (4:15 in) to try and mask the ungodly stink of E. Lansing.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:33 AM ^
Ohmigosh, and over heeeeeeere is where I keep all of my matches and lighter fluuuuid. It's, like, gonna be super useful for when we need to party and we don't have enough space for activities in our big living room and we need to go outside and burn some stuffffff. But, like, you know how that goes because, like, I always get crazy when I'm sipping my diet pepssssssi.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:43 AM ^
You can't spell motherfuckin' narcissistic navel-gazing.
/Bernie Mac'd
October 5th, 2010 at 12:00 PM ^
There is simply nothing to add to this masterpiece. Res ipsa loquitur.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:36 AM ^
I do not have anything creative to say...I just really fucking hate michigan state and 95% of their fans...
October 5th, 2010 at 8:37 AM ^
I grew up in East Lansing so many, many of my best friends went to MSU. Every time this game rolls around, though, I do not hear a peep from them about it. Why? No one has made good on our $10 bet on the 2004 Braylonfest game yet. Deadbeats, cheapskates and cowards all.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:58 AM ^
Late at night Sparty fans come out to prowl and forage. So what do they do? Since they don't plan ahead their best option at this point is to hit the local Speedy Mart for snacks and groceries...hence Speedy Mart Spartans.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:02 AM ^
Until Recently I never really cared about MSU fans or their football program. They were the little rat that always got their ass handed to them and historically have never really been a factor in our domination. Sure I get excited for the game but I don't live in Spartyville. My hatred is for the team down south!
My hatred began after our loss in 2008 and intesified after the loss in 2009. This doesn't have to do with losing to them but rather their attitude towards us on beating us. Sparty fans act like they won a National Title and beat us 56-0. And they act like they beat us during a banner year were it affected our Big Ten title! WTF!!
They beat the FUCKING WORST 2 TEAMS IN OUR PROGRAMS HISTORY, BARELY!! Their classless uneducated fan base is what pisses me off about them. It's ok after the next few seasons they will all return to basketball fans, once again!
Thanks, I feel better now
October 5th, 2010 at 9:10 AM ^
I love that, when I visted my friend at State, I saw the following sign:
Sheep Research and Teaching Institute
If you don't respect that, you don't respect greatness.
They're teaching the sheep!
October 5th, 2010 at 9:48 AM ^
Hmmmm....that's probably not all they're doing.
I know, that was baaaaaaaaad.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:16 AM ^
ZE SHEEP VILL ONLY LEARN VITH DISCIPLINE!
And buggery. Discipline and buggery.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:24 AM ^
HOw about just Spartan Spartans? I think Spartan is just a grocery chain for Mid-Michigan, so that would be even less relevant than Jewel-Osco?
Anyways, as I was photographing Spartan Stadium, I stumbled across a little construction trailer. It seems that they are looking to renovate their stadium so that they can be more like thier big brother. So I wandered into the trailer and saw the plans. It looks like they are going to add concertina wire and guard towers so the players feel more at home.