A Scientific Survey Explaining This Board and Soccer - Please Participate!

Submitted by dex on

In the interest of science, I'd like to get to the bottom of why there are so many whiners here who simply CANNOT SHUT UP about the fact they hate soccer. So here we go with a poll ...

Answer with as many choices as apply

If you hate soccer, were you:

a. Forced to play by your overbearing mother because football was too dangerous

b. Too afraid to actually play football, so you thought soccer would be safer and then got disappointed when you sucked at that as well

c. Dumped by a girl for a soccer player because she wasn't impressed with your NCAA XBox coaching

d. Molested repeatedly by a youth soccer coach

e. Molested once by a youth soccer coach

f. Currently are a molesting youth soccer coach

g. Currently being molested by a youth soccer coach

h. Asperger's case who can't bear the thought of anything existing other than college football

i. Terrified of bees

j. A REAL AMMUUURICAN

k. Insecure about your own choice of sports and afraid when people talk about something you don't understand

 

FOR SCIENCE!

david from wyoming

June 28th, 2010 at 8:03 PM ^

N) That many European guys running around with such wonderful hair turns me on...and that frightens me.

wigeon

June 28th, 2010 at 8:08 PM ^

and J. 

I played for 3 yrs and enjoy the game, on the ground. I coach kid's as well.

But that's the extent of my appreciation. I understand talent and importance to the world and the cultural significance.  Those things are completely not lost on me.

But, I'd rather do yard work, or train dogs, or go fishing, or a million other things,   than waste a sunny day in front of the t.v. Same goes for baseball or whatever else is on right now. 

NOTHING else has the same appeal as Michigan football or hockey. 

briangoblue

June 28th, 2010 at 8:26 PM ^

I'd rather focus on clogging my arteries with cheeseburgers and freedom fries than take the World Cup seriously enough to feel any pain over a loss to GHANA. 

mad magician

June 28th, 2010 at 8:34 PM ^

Incapable of appreciating sport for the sake of sport; need team to whose results self-esteem/worth can be irrevocably attached; not sure where "Manchester" and "Liverpool" are located; DERP

jmblue

June 28th, 2010 at 9:23 PM ^

Have there really been that many complainers?  From what I've seen, in a typical WC thread there will be like 2-3 anti-soccer posts out of like 100.    

jmblue

June 28th, 2010 at 9:46 PM ^

Many soccer fans posted in those threads.  It was the sheer pomposity of those two (especially Gumbel) that earned ridicule more than anything.  Talking down to Americans and making them out to be idiots if they don't follow a sport is not a great strategy for winning new fans.

david from wyoming

June 28th, 2010 at 9:49 PM ^

Um, what? Do you think Cleese needs new fans? Everyone in the world talks down to Americans and making us look like idiots. Cleese has been doing that for this entire career.

http://neuronarrative.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/john_cleese.jpg

Blue Blue Blue

June 28th, 2010 at 10:41 PM ^

this site is called "M Go Blog" and from appearances, it would seem to be a blog about University of Michigan sports, and subjects that connect to that.

I came to this site to AVOID the World Cup stuff.  I mean, ya gotta love an event where the US can't beat Ghana even up, right?  If I wanted soccer, I would have gone to one of many World Cup sites.

I come to this site because I enjoy comtemplating the future value of 3-star defensive linemen.  I even would have enjoyed more coverage or our (repeat) National Champion Solar car.

But I stil think it sucks that I got negbanged into obscurity by compalining that the site was wandering far from the reason we come to M Go Blog.

mtzlblk

June 29th, 2010 at 2:10 AM ^

Is it seriously such a strain for you to scroll past something and NOT read it?

What does it take, maybe 7 seconds of pressing and holding a button on your mouse to go past a WC post on the main page? Even easier to not click into a thread concerning the WC, or restrain yourself from responding to anyone in a 'common' thread that might mention the WC.  

Furthermore, it is about as off-season as you can get. What exactly are you missing out on? The paint drying on the new M on the stadium turf? These days no news is good news, aside from a few more non-qualifying recruits who do not warrant letter-writing campaigns and rending of garments, there is very little going on and what news there is still makes it onto the site, so it isn't as if you are missing anything. Summary of M news in the last few weeks: some recruits visit and like us a lot, some visit and only like us a little bit...some don't visit. Some are going to choose to play football at M, most won't. Some are going to change their minds.

Even if I hated soccer, which I don't, I for one am glad for any distraction from the 'crisis du jour' of our beleageured and beloved coach over the previous few months. Dog willing he found a few minutes in the last few weeks to at least knock one off while no one was breathing down his neck or jamming their hand into his jock. I also hope he finished by wiping himself with a picture of 'you-know-who', but I digress.....

Let it ride man, just let it ride.

General Patin

June 28th, 2010 at 9:48 PM ^

Because Americans love a winner, and will not tolerate a loser.  Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed.  The very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.  That is why we don't love this communist kick-ball.  We are not the best at it.

chunkums

June 28th, 2010 at 9:55 PM ^

Almost all of the above, sort of:

A. As a child, I was too small and my father wouldn't let me play football.  

B. When I was old enough to choose, I was too big of a pussy, and joined a soccer team that got blown out every single game.  

C. I was preemptively dumped by every girl who didn't date me in high school, and they didn't give me any reason (damn sluts).

D/E. During my short tenure on the soccer team, I was probably molested by my coach's eyes because hey, I'm fucking hot.  Pretty sure it transcends gender and sexual preference.

F/G. I don't know any, but if I did I would molest the shit out of them.

H. I'm posting on a Michigan football board during June.

I. They have stingers and they sound like tiny Vuvuzuelas.  Yes I'm afraid.

J. I'm an ex Marine brosephs.  That's fuckin Amurikin!

K. What's this "futbol" you speak of?