RichRod under serious consideration...
I hate to be the one to break the news, but Rich Rodriguez is now the leading candidate to replace Coach Sam Winters as the coach of the ESU Timberwolves from the movie "The Program."
ESU has had a string of controversies surrounding its program following two straight sub-par seasons, injury problems, reports of recruiting violations, academic violations and steroid use. And now with Coach Winters taking the new head coaching position at USC, the football program is frantically searching for a new coach before the recruiting deadline. It looks like they have found their candidate in Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriquez. The only hangups seem to be that it is impossible to transport a coach from the real world to fictional film world, it is impossible to trasport him back in time, that ESU isn't really a school, and RichRod is not leaving Michigan to go to ESU.
"We feel we can work these problems out," said the Athletic Director at ESU. "Sure, some might say that it is absurd to think that RichRod would leave the University of Michigan to coach at a fictional school that has broken pretty much every NCAA rule in the last year, but those people also said it was absurd to think that defensive star Alvin Mack could pass any college level courses."
The news is spreading like wildfire after breaking a few hours ago. And it looks as though the ESU players are fired up about the prospects of RichRod coming in to be the next head coach.
"Woooooooo! Yeah! Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner!" said starting quarterback and Heisman candidate Joe Kane.
"Let's open up a can of kick ass and kill 'em all, let the paramedics sort 'em out," added defensive star Alvin Mack.
When asked what the players' expectations are for the season if Rich Rodriguez accepts the job, the response was pretty much unanimous.
"We gonna ring that bell! We gonna ring that championship bell!" they all yelled.
"Ding motherfu**ing dong!" chimed in defensive team captain Steve Lattimer.
*The above scenario is more plausible than RichRod leaving Michigan for Tennessee right now.
ESU has had a string of controversies surrounding its program following two straight sub-par seasons, injury problems, reports of recruiting violations, academic violations and steroid use. And now with Coach Winters taking the new head coaching position at USC, the football program is frantically searching for a new coach before the recruiting deadline. It looks like they have found their candidate in Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriquez. The only hangups seem to be that it is impossible to transport a coach from the real world to fictional film world, it is impossible to trasport him back in time, that ESU isn't really a school, and RichRod is not leaving Michigan to go to ESU.
"We feel we can work these problems out," said the Athletic Director at ESU. "Sure, some might say that it is absurd to think that RichRod would leave the University of Michigan to coach at a fictional school that has broken pretty much every NCAA rule in the last year, but those people also said it was absurd to think that defensive star Alvin Mack could pass any college level courses."
The news is spreading like wildfire after breaking a few hours ago. And it looks as though the ESU players are fired up about the prospects of RichRod coming in to be the next head coach.
"Woooooooo! Yeah! Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner!" said starting quarterback and Heisman candidate Joe Kane.
"Let's open up a can of kick ass and kill 'em all, let the paramedics sort 'em out," added defensive star Alvin Mack.
When asked what the players' expectations are for the season if Rich Rodriguez accepts the job, the response was pretty much unanimous.
"We gonna ring that bell! We gonna ring that championship bell!" they all yelled.
"Ding motherfu**ing dong!" chimed in defensive team captain Steve Lattimer.
*The above scenario is more plausible than RichRod leaving Michigan for Tennessee right now.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:42 AM ^
You gave me a heart attack.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:43 AM ^
You gave ME an erec...
Wait. You're talking about the post, aren't you. Oh... nevermind.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:50 AM ^
I was just trying to give people a laugh. When I read the rumors of Tennessee trying to hire RichRod, I just couldn't resist. What can I say...I'm a jackass.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:18 PM ^
RichRod is in the running to replace Hayden Fox at Minnesota State. No word on whether he will keep Luther as an assistant.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:20 PM ^
If RichRod fires Luther, he is fucking dead to me.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:44 PM ^
...DEAD TO ME!!! (I felt that needed more emphasis...Luther is the shit)
January 13th, 2010 at 1:15 PM ^
If only they gave points for heart...
January 13th, 2010 at 11:59 AM ^
that it's nearing critical mass.
+1 to you, this is the funniest thing I've seen on here in a while.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:44 AM ^
I heard he was going to Permian High School. They have have this great RB named Boobies or something and they feal he will be best used in a spread offence and naturally RR is the Godfather of the spread. Its a perfect match.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:46 AM ^
Boobie Miles only wears black Nikes.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:16 PM ^
Yall wanna win? Put Boobie in!
January 13th, 2010 at 11:57 AM ^
Pure, unadulterated, day-time cheesy GOLD. Well done, sir.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:10 PM ^
I know a Seinfeld reference when I see one. +1
January 13th, 2010 at 2:18 PM ^
Pipe down, chorus boy!
January 13th, 2010 at 1:29 PM ^
I think the band should use this as their three and out/missed fg or PAT/turnover on downs theme. Hell, any time the opposition f*cks up.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:45 AM ^
you Rick Roll'ed us good.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:45 AM ^
I am currently trying to bring my heart rate to below 150 BPM.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:58 AM ^
mis-leading labeling. The relief is almost worth it.
EDIT. Just making sure I didn't imagine this; from http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/mgoboard-faq:
Threads with misleading titles designed to scare the crap out of readers before they click will either be deleted or edited so that their titles reflect their contents.On the other hand, I'm well aware you meant this as a comment on the RR-to-UT threads. Many levels involved.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:33 PM ^
The people who thought that the Tennessee rumor was real were meant to be harmed by the misleading headline. I was attempting to inflict pain on them for being retarded. I think I achieved my goal. Hate me if you must. It is definitely at least somewhat dick-ish.
January 13th, 2010 at 2:12 PM ^
I was attempting to inflict pain on them for being retarded.
Bravo good sir.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:19 PM ^
well done sir.January 13th, 2010 at 11:48 AM ^
"Never gonna let you go..."
January 13th, 2010 at 11:53 AM ^
I smell epic video editing.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:04 PM ^
Someone get this to LSUFreek, stat!
January 13th, 2010 at 11:49 AM ^
I've been searching for the clip from that movie where ESU played Michigan. Anyone?
Or I suppose I can spend $5 and purchase the movie.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:50 AM ^
yes... this is OT
January 13th, 2010 at 11:56 AM ^
This post is like getting your back waxed, there is an initial shock but the end result turns out to be good.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:05 PM ^
KELLY CLARKSTON'D!
January 13th, 2010 at 12:09 PM ^
double post.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:56 AM ^
If he takes the job is there any way we can snake oil Lattimer and Mac to play lb for us instead?
January 13th, 2010 at 12:14 PM ^
I'd be very concerned about the status of Alvin Mack's knee injury. And the Freep would be all over Lattimore for his blatant steroid use. Not to mention Joe Cain's lack of family values.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:59 AM ^
Would RR really leave with Heisman Trophy winner Tim Wayman coming back to Michigan for his senior season? Seems he like to have that kind of QB experience and stability to work with for once.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:17 PM ^
That would be a nice rematch. Tim "He Could... Go... All.. The.." Wayman could get the clean sweep.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:00 PM ^
That is all
January 13th, 2010 at 12:13 PM ^
I heard RR was going to Ampipe High School to fill the opening created by Craig T. Nelson's departure to Cal Poly.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:14 PM ^
Well done. But seriously, go to hell for nearly giving me a heart attack.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:18 PM ^
If the toon squad could find a way to take Michael Jordan from the real world and bring him into the toon world, its hard to think ESU couldnt take RichRod from the real world to a non-cartoon fictional world. It just seems easier. I think he's staying at Michigan though. just a feeling.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:41 PM ^
I soiled my pants, no sugarcoat.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:02 PM ^
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 13th, 2010 at 1:17 PM ^
They always lose to Michigan anyway...
January 13th, 2010 at 1:27 PM ^
I shook my head at the title thinking the poster would need a reprimand when really I'm the one who needs to be spanked.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:36 PM ^
does RichRod need in his first two years to keep his job at ESU? And is he really an "ESU Man?"
January 13th, 2010 at 2:17 PM ^
According to sources, Mike Tomlin is a "top candidate" for the ESU job and is "very close" to leaving the Steelers to coach at his alma mater.
January 13th, 2010 at 2:32 PM ^
Why would he go to ESU?
Their alcoholic, overrated QB Kain is off to be some NFL coach's problem, as is their top offensive tackle. Their best player on defense is out with a career-ending injury from Molk's hit last year (and he would have gone pro after his junior year anyway), and the defensive line, as we saw last year, is useless without Lattimer.
All ESU's got coming back is their thunder/lightning tailback combo. And since Winters ran an offense that would have been old in the early '90s, RR would have to install his system from scratch AGAIN!
Even if RR can cross the 4th wall into the realm of fiction, I think he'd still prefer to coach the Wolverines for the Wayman Child's senior season (how awesome is it that Tim came back again this year -- this guy is a real "MICHIGAN MAN!"