Recruiting: Guilherme Carbagiale Fuck
Please Beilein get him to transfer here. Please. He is a basketball player.
Fuck stands six feet, six inches tall and has been a force to be reckoned with on the hardwood this season. Through 26 games, Fuck averages a double-double at 18 points and 10 rebounds per game. Now Fuck has the chance to make his mark on a much larger stage at the Canadian Colleges Athletic Association national championship. On Wednesday night he was awarded all-Canadian status at the tournament’s banquet.
Fuck plays for the Medicine Hat College Rattlers in Canada.
http://medicinehatnews.com/sports/local-sports/2015/03/19/whats-in-a-na…
When he's on the court, does the crowd chant "fuck fuck fuck fuck"?
That would be excellent.
His team's fans chant "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
The other team's fans change "Fuck Fuck"
It's hard to tell which is which--quite the clusterfuck.
coitus? if he's fouled in the act of shooting, would that be 'coitus interruptus'?
Dick Vitale, or any of the other announcers, say, "This Fuck is a diaper dandy." or "This Fuck is one prime time player." or "This Fuck sure can play." Hilarious.
More importantly when he's not playing do we chant we want fuck, we want fuck, we want fuck? Or is it get the fuck in here, get the fuck in here, get the fuck in here?
What if he's playing poorly, do we chant get the fuck out, get the fuck out, get the fuck out?
When Beilein puts him in at the wrong time will we chant why the fuck? why the fuck? why the fuck?
When he's sitting on the bench and he asks to get in the game will Beilein tell him Fuck, no!?
When he hits a 40 foot game winner did the other team just get fucked?
When he's at the top of a ski run does he turn into a George Carlin bit? I am Fuck, FUCK OF THE MOUNTAIN!?
If he becomes great and famous and never makes mistakes will we have to replace the term "fuck up"?
What if he ends up on a deserted island with someone who's language he doesn't speak and he points at his self and says Fuck, me, Fuck, me and she tentatively thinks she's getting it and double checks by pointing at him and says Fuck, you? He takes it the wrong way, gets pissed off and punches her in the face, she dies, now he's alone on a dessert island! How fucked would he be then?
What if he opens a bar called the Barrel, will John Oliver try to put him out of biz? #shutdownthefuckbarrel
What if he marries his high school sweetheart Ima Griedy Johnson, when she becomes Ima Griedy Fuck will she be able to run for office or work for a non-profit?
What if he becomes king, will all his lovers be royally Fucked?
He'll probably waver on his verbal if he gives us one, he'll be in, then out, then in, out, in out.
If his play isn't consistent he'll be up, then down, up, then down.
When shopping for a cruise trip does he worry about the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean?
If he becomes an accountant and wants to compete with H & R Block will he open his own shop, Fuck Taxes?
There's a lot to consider with this guy before we intercourse with him about coming. Does he play hard and get it in the hole? How much does he shoot? How often does he score? Does he have good rhythm and a good stroke? Does he study hard? Does he work hard? Does he play hard? Why does he want to come... to Michigan, I mean what is the thrust of his position? It's a dangerous world out there if you're famous, when he goes out in public does he have security watching his ass, I mean does he use protection? How is his hygiene? We don't want any dirty Fucks around the program.
fucking way.
Best name ever.
Keep that Fuck in Canada.
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wherever he goes, his next team will literally be able to drop the f-bomb in a game
Would need clearance by the NCAA but he could be the first player to wear a jersey LETTER instead of a jersey number. It could be the letter A.
Fuckin A.
Good thing he isn't a left tackle transfer.
A fair numberof people will not understand this reference.
i bet it's really funny too
Damn it. I can't figure it out. He'd be lined up next to Kalis probably, right? Someone explain this joke!!!
It would be Butt - Fuck. Step yo' decipherin' game up foo's.
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He would be a better Tight End. We would have the all TE name team with Fuck & Butt!
I had a boss whose name was Richard Butt. And the only time he went by 'Dick" is when the underlings hit the bar without him.
Pass is completed by Fuck to Butt and he SCORES!!!!
Maybe for now, Butt when he comes to Michigan and double dips into the big house by pulling out of the Crisler tunnel & plunging head first through the tunnel into the hole that Yost dug and Bo filled up every Saturday afternoon, and we're playing West Virginia, whom gave us DickRod, and after the climax of the sixty nine point gashing, as the players leave the field the camera shows Dingle Berry in the tunnel and Butt Fuck coming into the tunnel we'll have kicked their ass in the name game and that will be some dirty shit!!!
So - serious question. here... how would this be handled by teams/broadcasts? I would assume they would simply use his first and middle name? Where is that line drawn? If his last name was Cunt, would they say it? I would think so. Would they say Bitchman? I would think. What if his last name was Fucklin?
beeped out upon every mention probably.
Not to be a buzzkill, but from the article,
"While the Brazilian basketball star’s name may stand out on paper, it’s pronounced “Foo-key” and is of German origin."
That doesn't do anything about the print aspect, though. I wonder how they'd handle the jersey? Go nameless for all players for a couple years? How would they display his name on graphics when shooting free throws? Would they?
Yeah that wouldnt handle the print aspect. I feel like they'd have to print it, wouldn't they? Would it be discrimation not to?
edit: Kosuke Fukudome
I still remember how careful broadcasters were when they pronounced Rusty Kuntz's name on air.
Why the Fuck is he not in the NOTY bracket/thread?
is similar to the toughness of Canadian street gangs.
But I'll bet you a Vernor's that he pronounces his name "fook" or somesuch.
Because everyone I've ever met with an unfortunate surname like that seems to adopt a strained pronunciation that only increases the attention on their unfortunate surname.
Had to Google this guy because I thought I was missing the joke. Definitley not missing any joke.
actual Fuck?!
Imagine the numbers, Fuck would be off the charts
other than some family members with a name spelled like that. Geez, I'd have changed the spelling legally somehow by now. It isn't worth all the crap you'd have to take.
Apparently it's German for "Fox," so most likely he's far from the only one on the planet with that name.
The German word for fox is Fuchs.
The kid should learn his own etymology.