My best fortunte cookie experiene was when I was having dinner with my (then and still current) girlfriend back in college at some Chinese place in Ypsi. She opens her cookie and it says "You will find happiness with a new love." She starts laughing and teasing me, until I open my cookie and see that it reads "You will soon be relieved of a great burden."
Now, years later, she's not happy and I'm still burdened. Those cookies may have been on to something. (I kid, I kid.)