What you got?
New MGoPost: Your dog died and your mom hates you.— mgoblog (@mgoblog) February 18, 2014
Predict The Next Depressing MGoArticle
This one comes immediately to mind.
you made me log in just to up vote you
there's a bunch of gravity there.....the phrase zero gravity makes me livid.
What is it?
The phrase was made up to describe a situation where the apparent effect of gravity is zero, which is obviously the case here...we are all aware gravitational attraction doesn't disappear just because you are in a diving plane or in orbit.
Has to be hockey.
Instead of a HELLO post it could be a Goodbye post. Recent recruit X can't provide documentation that he is a U.S citizen.
Didn't that actually happen with an early Beilein recruit?
Geez. I sure hope not, although it would surprise me less in basketball because the game is becoming more and more international, and recruiting reflects it a bit. I didn't even think of Stauskas, but wouldn't that be the depressing headline to end all headlines?
but he didn't qualify academically.
He didn't qualify because he played for a semi-pro team prior to college.
It's a shame, too. He actually turned into a decent player.
Dee Hart's arrest and release from St. Saban's roster
More ACL tears?
"MgoUser mocomber tragically killed in a freak domestic drone strike mishap."
Brian Is Keyser Söze... and Keyser Söze is Woody Hayes reincarnated.
Holy shit...I just got done watching that movie less than 10 minutes ago. So weird.
UM cant overcome early deficit in loss to MSU, gives up conference lead.
And everyone's hurt
Well, hopefully nothing else today anyway. The detailing of how Michigan's offensive line was last or near last on serveral advanced metrics and a video analysis of Frank Kaminsky befuddling us would be a pretty difficult back-to-back combination to top, especially in the otherwise calm month of February.
That being said, if things go south on Sunday, anything produced in the wake of that game scenario could compete with the Frank Kaminsky one, I think.
I can see it now...Michigan beat by two Kaminskys in two weeks. *shudder* Must. Cleanse. Brain.
Michigan Stadium naming rights sold to Waste Management. New name to be "Landfill Near Cottage Inn." The exterior will be painted green.
Either the post game recap of UM losing to MSU in basketball, or more analysis as to why UM will have a new HC after this season.
Please welcome our new site administrator, Section 1.
I kinda hope it's:
Robinson, Staukas, Lavert declare for draft. All likely lottery picks according to scouts.
*LeVert . . . he's the new Woolfolk
"Peppers, Bunting, Ferns to transfer to Ferris State"
Michigan coaching staff showing interest in Jayru Campbell.
A recruiting insider reports that "Michigan is not out of it". 10 minutes later he signs his LOI to MSU.
"From Westbrook to Brust: 20 Years of Heart-Rending, Last-Second Losses"
More Kraft macaroni noodle structures being erected outside Michigan Stadium. One home game per year being endowed as "The Annual Macaroni Game".
It seems like a really bad idea to suggest fake headlines like
"Out of control Perry the ACL Elephant goes on rampage in Michigan lockerroom."
"Incoming OC Nussmeier to implement 1,200 page playbook found while cleaning out Borges' locker."
"Fred Jackson on incoming 2014 recruits: 'Meh.'"
We should not be playing with fire. No Sir. That's some bad juju.
________ (fill in name) tears his ACL.
Brian, RDT, and Ace Williams are all the same person.
But not Wolverine in a bag
where Watkins and Canteen came from is a front for David Sills' Mortgage investment group that gets traced back to Bernie Madoff. Thus invalidating the credentials of their school, thus invalidating their degrees, thus making them ineligible to compete at the University of Michigan.
Why don't you give me a papercut and pour lemon juice on it?
Borges rehired as UM Offensive coordinator.
TheGhostofYost's ban set to expire next week.
Dude gave ghosts everywhere a bad name.
"Mitch McGary: Why I'm giving up basketball to pursue my dream of getting unicycling added as an Olympic sport."
Eh the pain of that would be offset by seeing Mitch win a gold medal in unicycling.
unauthorized use of Muppets videos. Judge issues cease and desist order.
announces open audition for the Michigan Wolverines on-field mascot.
Kate Upton ditches current wardrobe for scarlet and gray clothes. The world sighs.
Your a dick
His a dick?
Mine a dick?
Whose a dick?
Apparently she's left Earth entirely, citing "research" and "science" as the reasoning.
Brian tears his ACL, out 8-9 months. 11W staff to cover for him.
Drew Sharp, Ace Williams and Mike Valenti to share duties.
It's not me, it's you.
OT: Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot (royalties to Airplane!)
I feel dumber for having posted in this thread.
to do the old chemistry demo from U of M where you'd get blue and yellow alternating in solution, but the starch/malonic acid solution I used was too old and my blue barely showed up and it was more pee/orange colored. It was one of the worst moments of my life.
I just spent 1:39 of my life watching liquids spin around and change colors and I'm not disappointed. I think it's time to evaluate some things.
the final two seconds weren't good enough for you, YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!!
There were two more seconds?!? I need to watch it again!
Well, there was the music.
Damien Harris commits to osu right before tip off of the Michigan vs MSU basketball game. Michigan loses by 35 poitns at home and B10 title seems unlikely. Following the game an interview with Damien Harris reveals he wants to be the cornerstone of the osu class and actively recruits for ohio. Shawn Crawfords commitment looks to be in question as he will take an official to osu with Damien.
Replaced by Michigan's Coach Doug Nussmeier
Mattison to retire. GERG hired as DC. Salary said to make him highest paid assistant in college football.
I don't have a dog.
Jabrill Peppers' foot bitten off by escaped pet alligator in New Jersey mall parking lot
AP 2-18-2014 "Kate Upton renounced her Michigan fandom, proclaiming herself "a big Sparty...go Green, go White!!"
Mathelete plots a chart comparing the "dong punch" effect of the lowpoints of UofM athletics and plots it against the actual pain levels of receiving dong punches at different strengths. This gives us the dong punch coefficient for each event which can be ranked in order.
All future games played at neutral sites.
We're only playing road games then?
I am just kidding!!
RBUAS writes a weekly feature on how much he misses Mike Hart.
Dave Brandon schedules Appalachian State as season opener for next 40 consecutive years.
And we go 0-40 against them. The upset of the century every single year, long past my death.
Not that losing to app state 40 times will kill me. It only has to happen one more time for the death thing.
2014: The Meme wasn't that long ago.
Bisb decides to repost the bracket of Michigan fandom worst moments from the past 20 years or so. Just for kicks.
The internet declares sports blogs illegal. We can only get University of Illinois content, because, well, you know.
Class of 2018
Ticket prices go down. Ads come up.
BBall 2nd game exit (round of 32)
Is Brady Hoke the next Rich Rod? It's close.
edit: Nevermind. Bleacher Report already did that one today.
''Seven Nation Army'' is replaced by ''You Raise Me Up'' as the new hype music at the Big House.
Will run on Friday morning.
What do I win if I guess right?
For depressing the MGoCoolKidsCrowd
Do you guys remember how bright everything seemed in late 2007 when it was announced that Rich Rodriguez was going to be the next head coach at the University of Michigan? Its been all downhill since then. And no I'm not blaming RR.
That was more of a "omigod we're gonna die how'd they pull that one out of their ass?" moment. Go back to the moment Bo died and all that followed.
Yeah you're probably right, but man the point when RR was hired, things were looking up.
I've been in my labratory and I've cooked up a new slogan for Dave Brandon:
Michigan: Fucking up wet dreams since 2005
for first time since the dreaded 2013
Prime numbers years suck
The last four were what 1997,1999, 2003, 2011
National championship, orange bowl, big ten championship, sugar bowl....seems like we do well in prime number years
Swap out 1999 for 2007 and you're all set.
As first reported by 11 Fffing Warriors, oficials at UM are decrying the sudden dissappearance of Coach Hoke and the $10mil J.Ira slush, er Harris endowment fund. According to our, er 11's, insiders, Coach Hoke was offered a stunt/ double role in John Goodman's new patriotic flick: "This is America, Fer God Sakes" and couldn't pass up the opportunity. According to a Hoke publicist, Hoke released the following brief statement: "Now, there's no need for a bunch of fingerpointing..." THE Uiniversity of Michigan, Norman J. Schwarzkopf Athletic Director, Dave Brandon, downplayed the crises and repeatied his confidence in his Head Ball Coach. Insiders point to a very different Brandon reaction when discussing Hoke's escapades internally: "He was mad as hell, kicking his UM Booster trash can all over the office and ranting over the telephone 'He has to wear the UM/Addidas label in ALL the scenes' it was like he was possessed." We will continue to follow this story closely and provide continuing updates.
Actually last time we had a blog-wide pity party I predicted both Kevin Newsome and Shavodrick Beaver would decommit/die/get dropped out of an airplane in a canoe.