The season starts out with Appalachain State. Leading up to the game, ESPN decides to add 6 hours of college gameday to talk about The Horror. After Big and Rich get done singing, cameras zoom in to the set with Corso, Fowler, Desmond, and Herbstreit all holding beers.. After a few minutes of Chris Fowler talking, Herby abruptly takes his shirt off, swirls it in the air, and flips off the camera. Following the episode, ESPN announced that it has fired Kirk Herbstreit and is hiring Denard to replace him. Kickoff brings more good fortune as Jabrill Peppers returns the opening kickoff hurdling all 11 ASU players enroute to the endzone. Following that touchdown, App State fumbles the next 5 kickoffs for TDs which makes the score 42-0. Gardner then throws a couple 80 yard passing TDs and has a couple of 80 yard rushing TDs to make the score 91-0 at halftime. The Mountaineers decide to forfeit the game at halftime citing player safety. Following the game, Ohio State is found to be sponsoring the underground drug cartels in Colombia and the school is shut down by the federal government.
Perfect First Weekend for Michigan Football
Go to bed and sober up, man.
But what number will Peppers be wearing?
That's what I'm saying.
I see what you did there. That's funny stuff right there.
I'm waiting to here who gets Braylon's number.
iN beFoRe thEe LoCKkkK!
If even 10% of this happens, I think it will be a pretty dang good weekend
I'm no psychologist, but this seems...unbalanced.
Great post...very thought provoking.
The Friday leading up to the game, we wrangle up all the ESPN producers and video guys and flash them with the Men in Black memory eraser thing so there's no mention of The Horror whatsoever
The Friday leading up to the game, we wrangle up all the ESPN producers and video guys and flash them
Football can't get here soon enough.
I'M DRUNK TOO YOU ALL GET UPVOTES
I was going to post about the first week against Appy State then I got high
I was going to discuss Jabrill Peppers then I got high
Now I'm posting random and I know why, hey hey
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
DaDaDa. Da. Da. Da.
Speaking of Afro Man, I had the good fortune of seeing him perform live for all of his ~20 minute set at the DKE house this past winter. Truly a show for the ages.
I'll have you know that this dude most certainly typed this with only one hand on the keyboard. Respect.
I just hope you weren't there watching...
The goblins got him.
What in the fuck was this? And how many shrooms did you eat to come up with all this?
"ESPN decides to add 6 hours of college gameday to talk about The Horror"
"hiring Denard to replace him" (I'd prefer him making a name for himself in the NFL first)
...are not part of a perfect weekend.
If this is a "what are you drinking thread", then you got it all wrong. We're not supposed to guess what your on.
But reading from top to bottom of responses, I did laugh several times. So it is a successful thread in my humble eye....
Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...
I don't think he stopped.
if he exists right now, he damned sure can't provide you proof...
This one may come down yet - no, it likely will eventually - but I am rather interested in how long it will be before the OP comes back to tell us if Guatemalan Insanity Peppers were in the chili that he was eating and whether or not at any point this story involves wandering naked across a golf course. Also, did anyone in the dream sound like Johnny Cash?
No Kate Upton in your perfect weekend?
I do not like this post
I think the drug hint is in the last sentence. Maybe Thad knows more than he is explicitly admirting.
This is the best MGoThread in a long time. Stop hating haters
If not, OMG Shirtless and Posbangs would be the best threads...oh and appreciation threads.
To taste this chicken
"The sonozeberries taste like snozeberries"
Sorry for the spelling. Damn phone.
ESPN College Gameday will be in Ann Arbor for opening weekend, correct? Afterall, this is the most anticipated rematch in the history of college football.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT DENARD TO BE ON TV THIS FALL?!?! That would mean something had gone horribly wrong, like a career-ending injury. I would like Denard to be on TV in 14 years, after a long and productive NFL career in which he is traded to the Washington NFL franchise and we subsequently win the Super Bowl with Denard and RGIII as an unstoppable backfield duo.
By the time Denard and RGIII are on the field together, I doubt it. It's only a matter of time before they change it, I think. Chainsaw Dan will never do it of his own free will but I do wonder if Goodell will force him to.
On the other hand, this isn't the first time in my relatively young life (I'm 27) that there's been a surge of protest at the name.
But wait, we were talking about Denard!
EDIT: Apparently I can't embed gifs, so here's a pic instead:
or denard's speed is so disrespectful of the laws of physics that he has managed to run in place fast enough to stop time, which allows him to score touchdowns on Sunday and go back to Saturday to be on gameday, all while avoiding shredding the space-time continuum, and he does it with his laces untied.