OT:What Is Your Age Limit For Wearing Replica Jerseys

You're asking a question of taste, so there's by definition no real answer. My tastes:

College Football: Is all about tradition. By about 28-29 you should have established your "Game Day" traditional wear. It should match the primary color of your team, and be able to withstand years of punishment because it will be worn 7-8 times per year for the rest of your life. This is why the 'maize out' concept has been so hard to push through -- you're going against millions bajillions of years of blue sweatshirts worn down to the perfect level of comfort and which still smell like hot dogs from 1976. DO NOT LET YOUR SPOUSE WEAR YOUR GAME DAY GEAR IT IS SACRED. (My system was thrown out of whack by maize craze, but I'm starting to get into a tradition again using MGoShirts as overtees).

NFL: Is the opposite of college football unless you actually live in one of those NFL cities where the NFL team is basically the college football scene. To this I recommend any jersey of a current player, or else a player everybody liked from a down period because that shows you have fan loyalty (like if you show up to a Lions game in a Corey Scheleschinger jersey, mad respect). In general NFL is about NOW so if you're going to jersey it be ready to throw out your Harrington to buy a Roy Williams, then toss that for a Suh, etc. (I have a Suh jersey. My brother just got Fairley. This will work for us for a long time I hope).

NHL: Sweaters are easier. They have a lot of the same rules as MLB, especially with the "favorite player as a kid" thing. You get more props the more underappreciated your guy is. Hockey however there's less disparity between the stars and the rest of the top lines/pairings so you need your own reason to pick a sweater. NHL is also the best place to get creative. Ones I give props for:

• There's one couple who come to every game in a different pair. They have Zetterberg&Datsyuk, Kocur&Probert, and Fetisov&Murphy.
• Верьте - 16 ("Believe" - Konstantinov)
• Aurie 6 (yeah, f the man!)
• 9 (don't ever put a name on an pre-names guy's sweater by the way. Except Aurie because obviously.)
• The guy with the 20 sweater that used to be LaPointe but has that crossed out and Robitaille written in, and that crossed out and Lang and that crossed out and Downey written in, and that crossed out and then there's a line over to the side where he made more room and wrote "Miller" and at the bottom in red sharpie it says "and Mickey, always Mickey"

MLB: This is where jerseys get a bit difficult. There are plenty of games so you can rock more than one jersey and still end up wearing it 20 times a year. In baseball there will always be a No. 1 jersey for you, and that is your favorite player as a kid. Ask any man who grew up in America and he will answer that faster than he can tell you his kids' names. You want this jersey in the style that was worn during that guy's height, so for example for me I've been after an away block-letter '80s Trammell jersey forever.

If you're going for a current player, you want someone whose most memorable moments came as a Tiger, and also you want a jersey that will fit you kind of the same way as it fits that player, because the illusion is that you're wearing that guy's jersey. Women don't have to follow that rule. But 400-pound guy in an A-Rod jersey I saw at a Yankees game: this rule is specifically for you. If you go to the park a lot, I recommend a second jersey of a guy that nobody would remember until they saw your jersey. Like the other day we saw a guy in a Pat Sheridan jersey. Holy shit Pat Sheridan! That's awesome. I used to do this with a Brookens jersey but of course the Tigers went and made Tommy Moustaches one of their coaches so now everybody remembers Tom Brookens again.

Inge is cool only if you live east of Woodward Ave. Avila is the hot new one. If you were one of those dupes who bought a Chris Shelton jersey in early 2006: HAHA, at least you didn't get a Carlos Pena. Seriously though how many of those Shelton jerseys are still on the rack even today? I bet the finance guys at Dunhams had a meeting to look at ROI in FY2006 and pointed to a big chunk of losses and said "Shelton jerseys," and that these have been a drag on profitability tracking like RichRod attrition to Michigan's APR.

Also don't wear a Yankees jersey until that guy's number is actually retired. Baseball history is cool. Being a Jeter or Posada fan makes you an asshole. I'm not just Yankee-baiting here, srsly. If you can afford to go to enough Yankees games to warrant buying a jersey without it seriously damaging your credit score, you should probably be in a designer suit, not "slumming it" with the hoi polloi. If you did give a significant % of your cash to get in the ballpark, it is appropriate to wear one of those "name" t-shirts. The reason there are different rules for Yankees is because it is literally impossible for you to be old enough to buy a jersey yet not have lived through a Yankees championship. So whereas a Cubs fan can put on his Cubs jersey and you know that guy is going to stick it out with his Cubs come hell or Steve Bartman, you have no idea if you'd still love the Yankees if they flat-out sucked for a decade and went thorugh years of futility, etc. Every other fanbase has been through that, and can wear their jerseys as a sign of loyalty; a Yankees jersey just says you're a fan of winning. And fascism. And that you're an asshole. Granderson jerseys are the exception, because he gives all of his share of those proceeds to charity.

Also, wear away when you're attending your team's away games. This is just a courtesy because our home jerseys all look kind of similar and it sucks to jump up and cheer a Boesch home run and try to high-five the guy next to you and then you realize his jersey says Twins on it. You can wear your jersey to a game your team isn't playing in, but again wear your white if you're rooting for home and your gray if you're rooting for the away team.