a vitally important recap of all the dumb tweets sent during the Harbaugh coaching search
The one that drives me batsh!t crazy is when the color guy is describing a catch, particularly in the endzone, and he says that the receiver, "went up and got the ball at its highest point."
There is just absolutely no truth or logic to this. The ball is throw and follows an arc. At most, the ball is a foot or two higher than when it left the QB's hand. In most cases, it has been falling for about 50% of the time it has been in the air. Physics, gravity, geometry. I understand that these things are beyond most of the color guys out there, but there's just no excuse for this one.
Also, I'm tired of hearing about how Rodriguez is "embattled." The only reason he's "embattled" is because the idiot announcers keep saying he is.
Also, also, I rather have Pam Ward as play-by-play than Matt Millen doing color. (Did anybody else watch the Monday night post-game yesterday? He was awful there, too.)
as "A runaway beer truck". Or isn't wondering "what is Britney doing with her life?" during an SEC game in overtime.
Basically anything this guy says is annoying (might have mispelled his name, don't really care to know though)
It's hard to admit it, but I think he is one of the few guys that knows what he is talking about
"We talked to him last night..."
"When we talked to him last week..."
"I was talking to Coach Rodriguez and he told me..."
Or any other variation on that theme. It's like they're rubbing it in that their job is to cover sports and a constant reminder that I don't get to do that.
Dick Vermeil used to be the worst in this regard. After listening to him call a game, you would imagine that he weighed more than 400 lbs, because somehow or another, he managed to have dinner with every single coach on each staff the previous week. Furthermore, every one of those coaches would tell him that some unknown player was really the best athlete on their team.
It is awesome when Rod Allen does this, because:
a) you have to drink, per the Rod Allen Drinking Game, and
b) I think he knows that we know he's lying.
Announcers calling every offense with a mobile QB in the shotgun the Wildcat
Very annoying to me for some reason. Especially when it's a quarterback taking the snap.
I meant to link to http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/
If you find this topic at all interesting, you will LOVE this website. Heading over there a second ago, I saw this Pam Ward gem from Saturday, "Pushed out of bounds by Mouton....touchdown Indiana."- Pam Ward
Anywone who invented "the Pammy's" is 100% pure genius.
However, if Mike Patrick isn't the biggest douche out there, then I'm just in a different universe or something. How did a nerd with no knowledge of football ever come to attain a position doing prime-time play-by-play... Mind-boggling.
Because everything is "LIVE!!!".
"We're at the Horseshoe LIVE!"
"That fan is throwing a full beer can at my head LIVE!!"
"I'm eating frosted mini-wheats in my skid-marked underwear LIVE!"
"I can't believe we're LIVE!!"
but I like Musberger. He is cheesy but I still like him.
I think Musberger is a great caller for big plays, and he's sometimes pretty funny, too.
But sometimes he really misses... see the 2003 ND-Mich game, a 20 yard pass to Carl Tabb in the first quarter might as well have been the game winner because of the over-expression he utilized.
I also hate the "we've got a real barn burner on our hands, folks" cliche.
I can't stand how Musberger pronounces "measurement" like "May-sure-ment." Nails on a chalkboard.
me off everytime I hear a golf announcer say...
"What a beautiful golf shot" or something similar.
Dude, we are f'ing watching golf...we know it is a golf shot. You don't hear anyone saying that was an excellent baseball pitch, or an awesome football run, etc. Just stop it.
"For a big guy..."
Notably, when Berman shrieks "WHAAAAAT" at the top of his lungs and continues his tired tradition of making up funny names or when Stuart Scott says...anything.
is simply a goddess and i won't stand for any of you insulting her. Time of possession is possibly the most important stat in all of football. They tend to give such stats to their best announcers. Besides, she is just so darn cute!
So you were the guy I saw her making out with after the game on Saturday! I thought your photo looked familiar! If this thing between you two kids gets serious, let's hope your future kids get their looks from dad's side of the family.
"John Madden here". God I almost ran out of the room screaming ever time i heard that. I'm glad he's retired.
followed by the cliche "That's just pitch and catch."
"He's very Wes Welker-like ... surprisingly athletic."
I love him, he's hilarious, he's a bafoon, he's a lunatic, and half the stuff he says doesn't even make sense but at least he's not the main play-by-play guy. I think its ok to have the color commentator be a lunatic, but the White Sox lunatic is their play by play guy and it gets annoying.
I'll add a quote (I'm 99% positive it was Rod Allen not Impemba that said it this year)
"Marcus Thames is in the game because he's hot and he's a hooker"
(For those who aren't Tigers fans or don't know much about Rod Allen/Marcus Thames he was referring to him being on a hot streak at the time and tending to pull the ball down the line from time to time)
I just now caught this, but I had to jump in even though it's old. IME Rod Allen is actually one of the smartest baseball guys I've ever heard call a game. He might be a bit of a goofball and speak with a bit of a drawl (and further is guilty of overusing the "if you then you" construct that I hate so much) but don't sleep on his knowledge. He's always dropping little "hey that makes a lot of sense" tidbits and he's like 75% accurate in predicting the next pitch when he chooses to do so.
And he knows players' tendencies too. Perfect example: Tonight he mentioned that Orlando Cabrera is one of the best players in baseball at hitting the high fastball and you have to avoid throwing him that pitch. The very next pitch from Bonine was a high fastball that Cabrera ripped into right field for a hit. Allen knows what he's talking about better than just about anyone out there. He's anything but a buffoon.
The one that drives me bat-shit crazy is "National Football League." As in "He's one of the toughest running backs in the National Football League." Or "If you want to make it as a player in the National Football League..." I mean, we all know we're watching a professional football game, please don't be afraid to use "NFL."
Jaworski is the archetype of this, but if you pay attention you'll see almost everyone using it at some point when it doesn't really need to be said.
"Did you know that Tim Tebow..."
"Great play by Tebow"
"What a great young man Tim Tebow is"
"Anyone who has been in the presence of this young man (Tebow) is a better person for it"
I'm not even exaggerating.
Or the CBS annouce teams. They have been so far up his ass I think Verne or Gary might turn into diamond in the next few weeks.
Sorry for that visual at lunch time. :-)
GOES THE DYNAMITE.
This video never gets old...
must have said "pre-snap penalty" about a thousand times last Saturday. Every time there was a false start, "Another pre-snap penalty!" and then a remark about how many pre-snap penalties had occured in the game. Enough dude, you hate false starts, offsides, and illegal formation. We get it.
... Boom goes the dynamite.
Edit: Just noticed it was posted a little bit ago... crap. Plus one for Devin Gardner dude.
Anything Lou Holtz says. I can't actually provide any quotes because the man's speech is indiscipherable. I do know he was speaking, though, because I'm covered in spittle....anyone have a towel?
I'm Ok with a walk off homer but now we have walk off singles. Last week SportsCenter offered up a walk off sacrifice. Sheesh.
It just sounds so invented.
Also, one of the most unimaginative terms in sportscasting today is microcosm. Eddie Olcyzk used that cliche once every period for every game in the Finals this year.
"That play is a microcosm of Datsyuk's entire year, blah blah blah."
I'm waiting for TAINT (touchdown after INT) to come into vogue. I think Bill Simmons has commented on this. The announcer would inevitably say, "Man, what a nice TAINT." Makes me want to puke.
To announcer abuses. How about this one: "Verlander is on the bump for tonights game." Bump?
The HOUSE, baby!
Mike Tirico: "He just turned ___ into a screensaver!"
One, calling an end-around a reverse. Also its evil twin: calling a reverse a double-reverse. I HATE THIS. When did a simple end-around become a reverse?
Two, and this is the most annoying shit ever. Whenever announcers say, "If you're ______ then you ______." As in, "If you're Tate Forcier you can't be throwing that ball over there." Or, "If you're Michigan you have to love what you see out of this game." Or, "If you're Rich Rodriguez you have to etc. etc." you get the idea.
There is a zero percent chance that anyone listening to the broadcast while you're talking is Tate Forcier. Just fucking say, "Tate Forcier shouldn't have thrown that ball." The only acceptable use of this construct is, "If you're a Michigan fan then...." because yes, some of the audience is a Michigan fan.
Where a boxing announcer, describing a knockout, screams "unbelievable, unbelievable, UNBELIEVABLE!" Hey fella, its a BOXING match. And its unbelievable to see a guy knocked out?
This is Michigan's "deepest penetration" of the day. Makes me feel dirty.
"Boy, what a bad time to commit that penalty/cough up the football."
I'm sorry. Are there GOOD times to do those things?
that Denard Robinson doesn't tie his shoes makes me want to blow my head off. Talk about beating a dead horse.
Go back to hearing about how the Threet family has had season tickets for years? I'm kinda happy at this point to take recurring references to Denard's preference of shoe fasteners.
He doesn't tie his shoes?
Pretty much any time the ball is in the middle of the field on 4th and short an announcer will say it's "Decision Time" for Coach X.
Isn't it decision time on every down? It's called "calling the plays".