OT: Why Your Team Sucks 2015: San Francisco 49ers
Enjoy some wonderful schadenfreude courtesy of Deadspin about our favorite tire fire: The 49ers
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-san-francisco-49ers-1724542048
My favorite snippet: Tomsula looks like the love child of Mario and Ron Jeremy. He looks like every press conference should start with, “Imma a-gonna win!” And it would still be better than what he actually does say.
August 18th, 2015 at 1:40 PM ^
Maybe your favorite tire fire, I've honestly moved on
August 18th, 2015 at 1:43 PM ^
So you don't wanna hear my Oakland jokes either? Shit.
August 18th, 2015 at 1:59 PM ^
so anti-49's. Aren't we glad that they parted ways with Harbaugh so he could return to Michigan? Isn't that a good thing for us?
August 18th, 2015 at 2:03 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 3:12 PM ^
Considering every article and comment that isnt on mgoblog mentions how Harbaugh 'wears out his welcome' and 'lost the locker room' and will do the same here within a couple years I'd say only a very small minority saw through it.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:28 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 2:36 PM ^
I'm absolutely not a 49ers fan due to the fact that I am a Raiders fan.
Also, I am a fan of actual vibrant cities with real human people living in them. As this article so aptly states:
San Francisco, as it stands now, is no longer a living American Metropolis. Instead, the entire city has been converted into a giant Airbnb rental for tourists and rich foreigners. No one actually LIVES in San Francisco. Don’t be silly. Living on a space station is more feasible for the average American. You wouldn’t actually want to live there anyway. The only people walking around town now are selfish, tech-speak mandroids, each one with the explicit life goal of ascending Amazon’s hallowed Ladder of Triumph.
This is so true. I miss Detroit.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:37 PM ^
excuse me what?
Are you sure you didn't mean to type chicago?
August 18th, 2015 at 3:39 PM ^
Dude, head on back anytime! The Bay Area won't need any more Raidaz fans soon, as the team is bolting again soon!!! ;-D
So, as I said, I'm hating on the 49ers now, but I've still got plenty left for the mouth-breathing tattoo artists and smash n grabbers who align themselves as "Raider Nation"
August 18th, 2015 at 4:23 PM ^
The pro football fandom options on the west coast are pretty bleak. Let's just say the Raiders are my favorite NFL team west of the Mississippi.
Also, it is really sad that Oakland seems dead set on purging all pro sports teams, even while they are poised for a property tax bonanza in the coming years. This might be one of the few towns in the country where it makes sense for the the city to help pay for new stadiums given the outlook for growth in this region.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:54 PM ^
They orchestrated and carried out a year-long smear campaign whose narratives is still mindlessly repeated before firing then lying about firing our favorite coach. So one can have a bit of amusment at their expense w/out others acting high and mighty about it, seemingly.
I think people must do bad things in real life to be so concerned with appearing noble, ultruistic and beyond reproach. It's kinda weird.
August 18th, 2015 at 4:05 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 2:50 PM ^
I've moved on I and burning psalms, lighting candles and saying novenas for the demise of all that is 49'ers. This is pretty funny about a topic that was pretty damn relevant around here.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:35 PM ^
Weiner, you've never disappointed me before!
WE don't move on til they collapse on a pile of their own smoldering fecies, tossing Jed & Trent on top!
And that's coming from a SF resident/49er fan of over 30 years! They screwed JH over (lucky us!) and dissed him, piling on still to this day after HE'S moved on.
So, no, not ready to move on just yet!
"I'ma Gonna Win!".... that's Gold Jer, Gold!
August 19th, 2015 at 8:40 AM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 1:43 PM ^
"the coach who took your team from absolute embarrassing garbage-pail irrelevance to conference-dominating powerhouse in ZERO YEARS"
This checks out.
August 18th, 2015 at 1:55 PM ^
You missed the medically insane part. Ha!
August 18th, 2015 at 1:46 PM ^
"the entire city has been converted into a giant Airbnb rental for tourists and rich foreigners. No one actually LIVES in San Francisco. Don’t be silly. Living on a space station is more feasible for the average American."
August 18th, 2015 at 1:52 PM ^
funny snark in that article. Worth the 2min read.
August 18th, 2015 at 1:55 PM ^
The comments from the 49er fans are well worth a read.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:34 PM ^
A few are really funny
August 18th, 2015 at 2:03 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 2:12 PM ^
"Fuck Jed York with a roll of asbestos."
"Fuck Jed York with a stick of dynamite."
"Fuck Jed York with a hot branding iron."
"Fuck Jed York with a broken milk bottle."
August 18th, 2015 at 7:07 PM ^
...and then thank him for delivering us Jim Harbaugh
August 18th, 2015 at 2:22 PM ^
What's the point total required to start a new thread? Maybe it should be higher.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:30 PM ^
Until the Submarine resurfaces we are all going to be pretty bored and desperate. In the meantime, this article is actually pretty amusing.
Also, I was thinking of having some kids from a private high school replace the countertops in my house. Any recommendations?
August 18th, 2015 at 4:20 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 2:44 PM ^
who would rather have zero content than OT content? And this is pretty damn funny and does provide a bit of shaudenfreude... at least for some. The comments were priceless.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:25 PM ^
Trent MF Baalke is a goldbricker. He's the self-proclaimed boss around the Bay Area, and he makes it clear that he (not Harbaugh) deserves the credit for the 49ers 2011 turnaround.
Jed York is a second generation owner, so nobody should expect him to be capable, or even rational. FWIW, he insisted that he didn’t choose Trent Baalke over Jim Harbaugh. Apparentally he had "private" "philosophical discussions" with Jim Harbaugh, and determined they could not move forward together.
The 49ers are a beautiful disaster. It was fantastic to watch Oakland beat their asses last year, even if it caused them to drop down to the 4th pick in the draft.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:34 PM ^
The Niners have let everything go to shit simply because they can. They give no fucks. York will show up at games this year in a bathrobe and slippers and piss down your leg.
If someone can make that very scene transpire, that would probably be the funniest thing to happen in professional football in a while. The strange part of this is that I can York doing it too, all while chugging a beer and telling fans what they can do to themselves and what they can use to do it.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:10 PM ^
WTF? What is this from? I need to know.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:14 PM ^
haha. I saw it on thechive.com earlier this week. No idea what it originated from, but I knew I had to add it to my catalog of gifs.
August 18th, 2015 at 2:41 PM ^
This hasn't gotten old for me, yet. I'm still very much enjoying it.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:07 PM ^
Andrew's pic of the way too long line for Vegan Hotdogs sums up San Fran perfectly for me.
August 18th, 2015 at 3:21 PM ^
49er's fans out there. SF ownership actually makes the Lions owners over the last 30 years look competent..
August 18th, 2015 at 3:24 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 4:03 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 4:13 PM ^
I’ve read that Washington fans feel like the team will never be good as long as they’re alive, since Dan Snyder is only 50 and he’s never going to sell.
Jed York is only 35.
August 18th, 2015 at 4:39 PM ^
August 18th, 2015 at 5:39 PM ^
95% of the NFL games I have watched in the last ten years were Harbaugh-era 49ers games.
August 18th, 2015 at 5:50 PM ^
Of all the comments from 9ers fans that deadspin posted that trash the owners, the new stadium, and the culture of winning they ran away from when they fired and smeared Harbaugh, I think this one is my favorite. Just about died laughing.
August 20th, 2015 at 12:04 PM ^
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August 18th, 2015 at 10:01 PM ^