Beavis

May 27th, 2010 at 9:16 AM ^

Since when did "Albert" become Haynesworth and not Pujols?

Thought this was going to be about something entirely different.  Oh well.

jmblue

May 27th, 2010 at 9:39 AM ^

I had literally no idea who you were referring to by "Albert".  Though I'll grant that it piqued my curiosity enough to view the thread, so bully for you.

Beavis

May 27th, 2010 at 11:33 AM ^

Tiger is going to lose considerably more than $10 million in his divorce, buddy.

A few months ago the pending Woods divorce was discussed among cocktails with a group of buddies and the number came to around half a billion that Tiger could lose in this entire mess (when you factor in everything - the lost stream of revenues from endorsements, cash to Elin, assets to Elin, lost earnings on tour, etc.).

~$500 million > $10 million.

Noahdb

May 27th, 2010 at 10:00 AM ^

There's something to be said for high-priced hookers. Since Heidi Fleiss' operation got shut down, Charlie Sheen has gotten sued daily by the women he picks up at truck stops and landfills. I don't remember him getting sued ONCE when he just had to call Fleiss for "companionship."

Think about how much money athletes could save if they could call on a $5,000 a night prostitute instead of a $20-a-dance stripper.

Several years ago, I read a story about a woman in California who saw a bunch of seals swimming in the ocean. So she thought it was a good idea to put on a wet suit and go swim with them. Needless to say, dressing up like bait and then jumping in the ocean. I would imagine that the next-to-last thing that went through that woman's mind was, "Hey! Where'd all the seals go??" The last thing that went through her mind were several shark teeth.

I think that story works as a pretty good parable for what happens when these athletes sign very large paychecks. Allen Iverson? Earned a quarter-billion in the NBA. Flat broke. Derrick Coleman? Made something like $120 million. Skint. Eddie Curry? Bankrupt (borrowing several million at 80 percent interest rates...not so smart).

Beavis

May 27th, 2010 at 11:46 AM ^

Sprewell and Antoine Walker - both members of the "nine figure and broke" club. 

Kenny Anderson had something like $60 mil go "poof".

Some report in the UK done a couple years back estimated that 60% of NBA players go broke within 5 years of retirement.  Clearly a lot of these players are the minimum salary guys that get caught up with the $10 mil per year guys, but still....

Don

May 27th, 2010 at 10:51 AM ^

She's just a garden variety swimming pool ho with huge fake boobs and an undoubtedly tiny brain. No sympathies from me for either her or Haynesworth. If it's his kid, he has to take responsibility parentally and financially, but she isn't a victim here, either, unless it was rape. She's not alleging that.

The only real victim is unfortunately the child, because he or she will come into this world with two complete idiots for parents.

BlueinOK

May 27th, 2010 at 11:18 AM ^

I wonder how she could afford those boobs if she is on Medicaid?  Maybe Albert isn't the only athlete she is getting money from? 

Noahdb

May 27th, 2010 at 11:30 AM ^

The only real victim is unfortunately the child, because he or she will come into this world with two complete idiots for parents.

 

Hi! My dad is Albert Haynesworth, one of the dirtiest players in the NFL. Maybe you remember the time he spiked another guy in the face after the dude's helmet came off? Or maybe you remember him as a Paycheck Player who disappeared for games at a time despite a $100 million contract?

And mom? She's great. She's a stripper. She met my dad after getting DD implants and rubbing her ass up and down a brass pole for $20 a shot.

Mom and dad don't always agree on stuff. Like...the time that dad tried to trick my mom into getting an abortion.

Noahdb

May 27th, 2010 at 1:26 PM ^

Some report in the UK done a couple years back estimated that 60% of NBA players go broke within 5 years of retirement.  Clearly a lot of these players are the minimum salary guys that get caught up with the $10 mil per year guys, but still....

Sports Illustrated ran a piece on that. I think the figure was that 60 percent of NBA players are bankrupt three years after playing their last game. NFL players have the same problem, but it's a slightly lower number...like 40 percent. The piece started out with Raghib Ismail talking about how he frittered away his money.

If you're thinking, HOW is that possible?? Well...look at Iverson. There was a report that he bought a new Bentley (that's a $300,000 car) and went to AC with a buddy. They got wasted at the casino (not a great way to hold on to your money) and then tried to find their new car. When they couldn't remember where they parked, they went back inside, got a hotel room....and went out and bought a new car the next day.

Derrick Coleman blew millions on crap like tacky-ass jewelry that Idi Amin would have been embarrassed to wear. Shawn Kemp threw his away on women and kids...