OT: What Would YOU Rather?
A fellow intern and I were having a discussion on what you would rather. I'm sure most people in the MGoCommunity have had these at one time or another, and they are a good converation to have. So, I ask everyone, what would you rather?
All questions you must take as is. There are no special stipulations or scenarios.
Storm the beaches at Normandy, or Live in Jurassic Park?
Sweat orange or fart green?
Wax your mothers bikini line or shave your father's butt?
Take a hit going across the middle by Ed Reed with him wearing full pads, and you are wearing none, while stretched out for a highly thrown pass or get drilled in the head by Randy Johnson (in his prime) with no helmet? (Note: death will not occur in either scenario)
Boo your son at a school function in front of the entire audience for no reason or while you are out with your wife call her a fat slob with no explanation ever. (Note: you must call her a fat slob in all seriousness. It can't be in a joking or light-hearted manner)
You must give an exlanation for each of your choices. (not really but it would be funny)
Also, feel free to add more of your own to the thread.
Jurrassic Park - I've heard dino meat tastes good.
Sweat Orange - Play it off like i just won a gatorade bath.
Butt- I'm a real man and comfortable with my sexuality
Ed Reed- I can imagine it hurting a bit less then a 90+ mph fastball straight to the head
1. You get a medal for storming the beaches successfully and a story the grandkids will actually believe, and a really nice funeral if things don't go so well. Jurassic Park you get either bupkis or eaten. Easy choice.
2. I'd actually like to sweat orange right now.
3. Bikini line, because I can take this one more literally than intended and assume you mean a line on the actual bikini, and nobody said she has to be wearing it either. Otherwise, eww, dude.
4. While presumably the Randy Johnson fastball would cause instant unconsciousness and thus less pain, the chance is there for permanent brain damage. I'll take Ed Reed.
5. Easiest choice of all: I'm pissing off the wife either way, but at least in one of them I'm still likely to get every other weekend with the kid.
death would occur in ALL those cirumstances. Especially the last one.
Normandy - Fuck. Shit. Up.
Sweat Orange - Like to pass gas discretely
Butt - Accidentally saw my mom naked once. Scarred for life.
Ed Reed - I could take that shit
Boo my Kid - Not a fan of the ladies when they are pissed. Except for the angry make-up sex.
There was once a time when all of these type threads would be deleted. Damn the off season and lack of storylines.
Look on the bright side...it's 100x better than all of the shit we had to deal with last off-season.
read 1,000 ridiculous OT threads or read UFRs of the last four OSU games 1,000 times?
I'm more damning the fact that there aren't storylines other than those two options. I'm just as bored as the rest of us, hence not deleting it. But to answer your question directly, ridiculous, fake UFRs of the OSU games with alternate endings, strange plays that would never happen, and outcomes always in favor of Michigan could be entertaining.
I had real (and depressing) UFRs in mind, but now that you mention it, that fake UFR did have me laughing pretty hard. Good call.
I am in favor of a fake OSU UFR for 2010 right now... someone get on it!
1,000 ridiculous OT threads = hospital
read UFRs of the last four OSU games 1,000 times = morgue
1. Jurassic Park - I don't have to live in the T-rex center right? I'll hang with the bronchiosaurus (spelling?)
2. Green Farts- farts are funny....green is a weird color so funny,weird > awkward orange sweat
3. Butt - cuz my mom, really?
4. Ed Reed - then I could get his autograph
5. Boo my Kid - I don't have any so right now that seems safer
In which case you would have a hard time hanging with them seeing how they never actually existed...
http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/8152
The dinosaur you are looking for is an apatosaurus.
BOOM Mind-Blown-Knowledged
Except he meant the dinosaur actually featured in Jurassic Park, the brachiosaurus. Not the brontosaurus.
So he used a completely different word meaning something else entirely but it happened to also start with br and end with saurus and I'm supposed to some how understand that when people use words they don't mean different words that I think they mean. Interesting.
And now I feel dumber than a goat...
Well.....it's really just more that I remember that it was a Brachiosaurus in Jurassic Park.
See what I did there? I used the head of one dinosaur and put it on the other...Yes Brachiosaurus was what I was trying to get at. This thing!
I thought I made it fairly obvious, and followed it up with the line "Now I feel dumber than a goat" but I needed an /sarcasm at the end or something. Thought people would understand the sarcasm, guess not.
Have your doctor use a used syringe to give you an injection or drink 64oz of water from a Tijuana sewer?
be a Lions fan or a Clippers fan?
Didn't you hear, LeBron is going to LA!
Lions- far fewer games to be sad about
Normandy: Kill Nazis, capture Hitler's canoe as a souvenir, get the clap from skanky French chicks. Sure beats petting a bunch of dinosaurs.
Fart green: You could always just walk away and blame the green cloud on somebody else. Looking like a Cheetoh in the middle of boning, playing sports, or lying at a job interview is just lame.
Shave dad's ass: The one and only glimpse of mom's box I got at birth is one more than I needed. And it isn't like your dad can shave his own ass, so be a pal.
Randy Johnson heater: These both suck and I see no real difference except that the fastball to the dome would only hurt in one spot instead of your entire body. That and it would probably knock you out immediately to avoid some of the pain.
Boo your son: Maybe if I had a son the answer would change, but I think this would be a real chance to toughen a kid up. I'm all for keeping the hoes on their toes, but ripping on the little lady in public is just a recipe for not getting laid. I'd rather nail my girl and have the kid give me dirty looks until he gets to vent about it in therapy years later. Beats jacking off on the reg and hanging out with a kid who may very well deserve to get booed.
...the season have started yesterday.
am i the only one read the title of this thread as "Who would you rather?"
Wait, do I have to choose, or can I just say "all of the above"?
Except the green farts. That's just gross.
Jurassic park- I'd hide in a tree trunk and eat the nutrients from dino poop if I cant find berries or something
Fart green- I'll just hold em in
Dad's ass: is that even a debate?
Fastball from the Big Unit: agree with another poster that it would knock you out and the pain would be localized instead of the whole body.
Boo my son: Kids have like a 5 minute memory span right?
Jurassic Park
Sweat Orange
Fathers Butt
Fast Ball - Only my head would hurt
Call Wife Fat
House of Pain - You should compile the stats and see what percentage chose what.