OT: Spring Break and Maybe Saving a Coaching Legend From a Brazilian Maiming

I'm finally back from spring break. I left the 26th and judging from the sidebar ("Calm the F Down"; "Shitty Michigan Fans"; and "Obviously heat for RR, but why not Beilein?") I'm kind of glad I skipped out on the past ten days or so.

Anyway, I went to Rio with my girlfriend (I'm a senior and wanted to do something special, also I know the language and she does too a little bit.) We went via Miami and who do I find in front of me in line for security, but Bobby fucking Bowden. I don't say anything because I figure if I were him I'd rather be left alone. I maintain my silence later, when I see him in line to board the same flight I'm on. I tell my girlfriend, but she doesn't know a touchback from a fullback, and I realize that given the flight's passengers are nearly all Brazilian, I'm probably the one of the only people who will recognize him until he returns. Probably treating his wife, Ann, whose name I discern from the loud script on her handbag, to the vacation he promised long ago, I guess.

I notice the couple again at baggage claim and I'm struck by how non-descript they are. Bobby, in his generic polo and khakis, I'm shocked to find, could even pass for Brazilian. But then, he turns and I see it glimmering on his ring finger. His national championship ring with what seemed like a thousand glittering rocks fastened onto gold screamed at me across the room. Was he fucking insane? Did he not know where he was? I could just see the headline: BOWDEN SLAUGHTERED IN RIO DURING ROBBERY, because Lord knows that guy would not have let that thing go without a fight. I hurried over, hoping he wouldn't rebuff me out of hand as some loon disturbing his vacation.
"Hi Mr. Bowden..."
He turned slightly startled, "Well hello young man."
"You might wanna put away that ring of yours. People don't know what it means here."
He flashed a look at me like you might give to someone who's just told you, at a fancy dinner, that your shirt was on backwards. He quickly tucked the ring in his pocket and muttered something about people having told him to be careful. He thanked me, giving a big smile and a light slap on the back, instantly switching on the charm, which he still has in abundance. We then parted ways and I felt good.