OT - Sports Agent Tell All Book Excerpt (Maurice Clarett)

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March 21st, 2012 at 4:58 PM
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MGoShoe
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OT - Sports Agent Tell All Book Excerpt (Maurice Clarett)

This is seriously laugh out loud funny. Yahoo Sports is running an excerpt from “Illegal Procedure: A Sports Agent Comes Clean on the Dirty Business of College Football” by former sports agent Josh Luchs.

Luchs was a sports agent from 1990-2008 before being suspended by the NFL Players Association. He wrote a cover story for Sports Illustrated in October 2010 shining a light on the secret payments and deal-making that exist in college football. This excerpt details his work with former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett leading up to the 2005 NFL combine.

My favorite vignette is when Luchs brings in a representive from the Shriners to try to convince Clarett to play in the East-West Shrine Game since Clarett's stated desire of playing in the Senior Bowl was impossible.

He’d been living with an Israeli Larry Flynt for months, absorbing the house culture, operating by the house rules. Maurice had seen that every Friday night, when the sun went down, no matter what they were doing, all work ended. Hai, his entourage and his family lit candles and said their evening prayers. So, at that moment, when the discussion wasn’t going his way, Maurice suddenly stood up and said, “This meeting is over. It’s Shabbat.” He walked out of the room.

Jack turned to me and said, “What’s he talking about?” I said, “I have no idea. Today is Wednesday.” I rode with Jack to the airport, apologizing, and he was very understanding.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

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March 21st, 2012 at 5:13 PM | I don't roll on Shabbos (Score:5 Normal)
Hokemania
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Joined: 03/11/2011
MGoPoints: 2139

I don't roll on Shabbos

Whatcha gonna do, little brother?

March 21st, 2012 at 5:15 PM | Can someone translate for the (Score:3 Normal)
uniqenam
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Joined: 07/20/2009
MGoPoints: 2397

Can someone translate for the gentiles?

I miss King of Belch.

March 21st, 2012 at 5:17 PM | Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, (Score:5 Normal)
Hokemania
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Joined: 03/11/2011
MGoPoints: 2139

Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit *don't fucking roll*!

Whatcha gonna do, little brother?

March 21st, 2012 at 5:23 PM | Over (Score:1)
SamirCM
Joined: 04/08/2011
MGoPoints: 270

Over the line! ....it is after a league game.

March 21st, 2012 at 5:18 PM | The Jewish Sabbath starts... (Score:3 Normal)
MGoShoe
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Joined: 04/23/2009
MGoPoints: 19236

...just before sunset on Friday nights, not Wednesday. MGoTalmudicScholars should weigh in with more detailed explanations of the joke since I don't qualify.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

March 21st, 2012 at 6:33 PM | Shabbat=the Sabbath. begins (Score:3 Normal)
Seth
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Joined: 10/14/2008
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Shabbat=the Sabbath. begins at sundown Friday night and ends Sundown on Saturday. Ummm...we light candles and say some prayers and the bread is like a brioche and you should get it from Dakota Bread on Orchard Lake.

I have no idea what religion Clarett/Larry Flynt are practicing. MGoSomeWeirdReligionEccentricsPractice Scholars should weigh in.

(Blogger alias: "Misopogon") This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.

March 21st, 2012 at 10:53 PM | I'm guessing that... (Score:2)
MGoShoe
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Joined: 04/23/2009
MGoPoints: 19236

...you didn't read the excerpt. The point is that Clarett was living in an observant household but didn't really understand what was going on.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

March 22nd, 2012 at 8:16 AM | I read it as he was living in (Score:1)
Seth
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I read it as he was living in a household of eccentrics and none of them really understood what was going on. The guy he was involved with was Hai Waknine, an israeli mobster. That whole group, from what I've read, were 18 past the cukoo's nest.

(Blogger alias: "Misopogon") This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.

March 22nd, 2012 at 8:24 AM | True... (Score:2)
MGoShoe
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Joined: 04/23/2009
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...enough.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

March 21st, 2012 at 10:48 PM | The joke is... (Score:2)
JeepinBen
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Were it Friday, Clarett had a point. Many observant Jews don't carry money (or anything) on Shabbat (Fri sundown-Saturday sundown) and they wouldn't carry on contract/business discussions either.

But in no way was Wednesday the sabbath. Either Clarett had no idea what day it was, or was just dumb/crazy/pulled over with guns and booze.

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

March 21st, 2012 at 5:16 PM | glad you posted this (Score:5 Normal)
TrppWlbrnID
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Joined: 10/29/2009
MGoPoints: 7890

cuz i hadn't seen this other bit of buckeye RB schadenfruede here, but thought it worthy.

 

So, Eddie George got a ride home from a blonde woman pro golfer who is not his wife. she got pulled over with him in the passenger seat, and blew nearly twice the legal limit. Eddie says that he was not cheating on his wife, but that the golfer, Rachel Conner, was just giving him a ride home and didn't seem drunk at the time. the good part is that Eddie and his wife, Taj, who is in R&B group SWV (sistas with vioces) have signed a deal to publish a book together. It is called "Married for Real: Building a Loving, Powerful Life Together"

taj is not pictured above

ht: sklarbro country

2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
March 21st, 2012 at 5:36 PM | Thats odd. Word in Nashville (Score:4 Normal)
no joke its hoke
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Thats odd. Word in Nashville was that Eddie had a male "friend" that was very close to him in his years with the Titans. When my bro lived there he said it was common knowledge that Eddie was "a little light in his loafers" so to say. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Vice.com

March 21st, 2012 at 9:22 PM | His wife might disagree with (Score:1)
denardogasm
Joined: 09/11/2011
MGoPoints: 1859

His wife might disagree with your last statement.

"Michigan Defense" is dominating everything, in every aspect of life. That's a rough definition.

-Craig Roh 10/29/2011

March 22nd, 2012 at 9:02 AM | Gay men marry women (Score:2)
Carcajous
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Joined: 07/05/2009
MGoPoints: 1577

Gay men marry women sometimes.  You can be gay and married to a woman... those things are not mutually exclusive.

March 22nd, 2012 at 9:45 AM | You can also be bisexual (Score:2)
JeepinBen
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Joined: 01/22/2010
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And married to a woman. Who knows?

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

March 21st, 2012 at 5:18 PM | Money (Score:2)
Hokemania
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Joined: 03/11/2011
MGoPoints: 2139

Any mention of money changing hands or just humorous anecdotes?

Whatcha gonna do, little brother?

March 21st, 2012 at 5:21 PM | Jebus, what a train wreck. (Score:4 Normal)
FrankMurphy
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Jebus, what a train wreck.

March 21st, 2012 at 5:52 PM | THIS JUST IN: Clarrett did (Score:3 Normal)
BucksfanXC
Joined: 03/09/2011
MGoPoints: 326

THIS JUST IN: Clarrett did sketchy dumb shit when he was in college. Now back to Stormy for the weather forecast.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

March 21st, 2012 at 6:01 PM | Stormy Clearweather? (Score:1)
Wolvie3758
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Joined: 12/12/2010
MGoPoints: 366

Was that the name?

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