OT - Share Your Favorite One-Liners
Mates,
Checking out of my regular food store today the lady there was having a hectic day dealing with some of the customers. Being a familiar face to her, as I walked by she said, 'I have a new hobby...Vodka!'. That got a smile out of me and it occurred that this board would probably have some dandy one-liners to share.
So, share some of the best one-liners you have ever heard, said, watched, etc. and remember to keep it semi-classy for our mgoblogging ladies.
her was like fucking an open window on a rainy day.
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"You buy a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup." (Turns and sees Judge Smeals) "Looks good on YOU though" (rolls eyes)
"Wang; it's a parking lot!"
"You must have been something before electicity!"
As a fishing guide; I like this one...
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Is that a mirror in your pants, cause I can see myself in them
In Li'l Penny's voice
You can't guard me. The Secret Service can't guard me.
/ banks in janky 3 pointer
// doesn't care.
Just the tip.
Did you ever hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
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In the spirit of just about every post in this thread (and against the plea of the OP for some decorum), as my mother once said about her loaded Cadillac, "It does everything but fuck you."
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs
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Apologies first....
"What do a moped and a chubby girl/or guy have in common?
They are both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you."
You win the contest. My God that expression captured a perfect moment. More of those to come.
There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.
Even a genius is fool for 10 minutes a day.
A non-swimmer makes the best bailer.
When someone is stressing out...
"They're wound up tighter than a virgin's daughter"
Yeah, think about that for a second.
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like farting through silk.
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"Centuwion, thwow him to the gwound, vewy woughly!" This line is best used as a come back to someone else's joke. Both parties will find it satisfying amusing. It becomes sublime as a come back when you're the boss, and one of your employees has a quip mildly poking fun at you.
"Do I have to explain, again, why you can't have a skylight in an 8th floor apartment in a 14 story building?!"
"We'd have better luck trying to play pick-up-sticks with our butt cheeks."