OT - Share Your Favorite One-Liners

Submitted by xtramelanin on

Mates,

Checking out of my regular food store today the lady there was having a hectic day dealing with some of the customers.  Being a familiar face to her, as I walked by she said, 'I have a new hobby...Vodka!'.   That got a smile out of me and it occurred that this board would probably have some dandy one-liners to share. 

So, share some of the best one-liners you have ever heard, said, watched, etc. and remember to keep it semi-classy for our mgoblogging ladies. 

 

MGoBoard
Other

ijohnb

June 25th, 2015 at 9:37 PM ^

smoking within 100 feet of the hospital sir. "Well then wheel me further bitch." -Jesse Pinkman

Joined: 09/21/2009

MGoPoints: 69986

Brimley

June 25th, 2015 at 9:54 PM ^

Don't throw cigarettes into the urinal; it makes them soggy and hard to light.

You're about as pleasant as a fart in a phone booth.

Joined: 03/22/2011

MGoPoints: 11651

Maizenblueball

June 25th, 2015 at 9:57 PM ^

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Joined: 12/08/2011

MGoPoints: 12420