My name is Ryan and I have a problem.
OT: Settling a Debate
I've got baggage too.
To only call me a die hard would be an insult to my fanship.
Yep, same here. A Michigan football loss ruins my Saturday. I'm in a pissy mood, minimum, the rest of the day. Sometimes the next couple of days. Sometimes, an entire autumn. Current gf understands (somewhat). Although she went to Illinois, she rooted for Michigan at the end of the game because she knew it meant much, much more to me and my buddy than it did to her and her friend. Ditto for when we went on a ski trip but took a break to watch UM-MSU bball a few weeks back. She admitted afterward that she was praying for a Michigan victory because she was concerned about what the rest of the day would've been like otherwise.
I realize that for a grown man this is ridiculous. Feelings are feeilngs, man. Perhaps when I have children, my priorities will be a little more mature. I also have learned to invest myself less as the season progresses these last few years, as expecting victory every time just hurts too much/leads to too much self-destructive post-loss boozing.
"maybe when I have children my priorities..." No. They won't. You'll just learn to hide the anger better when your kids want to play with you after a loss.
I've trained my son so now his weekend is ruined too when Michigan loses.
uhhh ya ill take ape tit for $200
Uhh, Alex, I'll take Anal Bum Cover for $400.
I am one of those fans that make it hard to be around after a rough Saturday. I proposed to my wifein the summer, fully knowing the wedding would take place in the spring (far away from football season). Most game days turn into me sitting in the basement alone watching the game because I have been banished. Or if I am watching the game on the "good" TV it is because she left the house, and I didn't go. I
I have refused to attend weddings of her friends, and have left other weddings early to watch games.
I also lobbied very hard to name my child Mason Blue, but that was shot down.
I admit at times it may be overboard, but I never apologize for my fandom.
We will be married one year on April 17, and many of our arguments involve my sports wactching. I have a 3 month old son, and he already smiles when he hears "The Victors." She has fought it for a year, I figure eventually she will just relent and embrace all that is being a Michigan Wolverine.
..."married one year on April 17"...
..."I have a 3 month old son"...
[does the math]
I learned after the fact, that a woman is really only pregnant 8 1/2 months. Color me surprised.
He was a little bit early too. I will enjoy watching his mother explain that to him in 10 years.
Nice catch, if I could plus one you the rest of the day I would.
My family life on Saturdays revolves around the Michigan game. I cannot understand how there is even traffic on the streets during the game. I mean, what are people doing?
Married one year, 3 month old son...damn you must have been busy on your honeymoon.
At least UM fans take time to do the math, and smile.
My wife thinks I am a freak. I show her this site as proof that I'm not the only one. Apparently during football season I am reading about Michigan all day and I don't pay attention to her anymore. I don't really remember the rest of what she was saying though because I was reading Mgoblog.
Ughhh why do I have to have 100 MGoPoints to upboat...just know that I'm giving you mental upboats.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Yeah, the gf puts up with my addiction to this site as well. Recently, I told her "so, I was on MGoBlog talking about xyz," and she responded, "that was OT, right?" (correctly, and with no sarcasm).
She may be a keeper.
My girlfriend is kind of the same. She keeps insisting that she's going to make an account and neg all my points away. I responded that she needed to get to 100 and she replied that it would be easy, just posting cat/Denard pics.
I think she gets this site too.
She's just jealous because she has to compete with the blog for your attention. Personally, I wouldn't listen to her opinion until she aquires at least 2,000 MGoPoints and wins a few arguments.
Definitely; we'd send her to Bolivian.
My dad has kicked me out of the living room on multiple occasions because he says I'm unbearable if Michigan is losing.
Once in 2007 when we were playing MSU (before the comeback)
and Once in 2009 when we got crushed by Illinois (and Tate kept fumbling the ball)
My dad is a big reason I'm unbearable when Michigan is losing.
I am the same way as the OP. Fortunately for me, my long-time girlfriend is also the same way. A loss makes for a grim saturday afternoon, and the coaching change made for some rather heated debates.
I make up or combine random swear words when Michigan is getting it handed to them.
when I'm watching Michigan football. Not only will I not perceive a single word she's saying to me, I'm likely to bark something extremely rude yet nonsensical at her to get her to shut up.
I took her to the Michigan-OSU game in 1979 right after we were married. She was so bored she took out a book and started reading it at halftime. But it's not like she doesn't care if we win or not; she definitely roots for us to win every game in every sport. She just doesn't give a shit about the actual sport itself, with one exception. The first UM hockey game I took her to, she was up on her feet yelling for blood after the first hard check. It was a bizarre transformation.
And our dog doesn't like it when we lose, because of all the loud, violent swearing coming from my direction.
I have taken my wife to numerous sporting events and she cheerfully goes, but only to spend time with me; she could care less about what is happening on the field. When we lived in Florida I about died when she pulled out Cosmo at a spring training game between the Tigers and Nationals.
Now we live in Wichita Falls, Texas and the only decent sporting event here is the minor league hockey team. We go to one game, and two minutes in she is screaming "Fight, fight, fight" at the top of her lungs. She probably would have been pounding on the glass had we been that close.
Wow...I was laughing as i read this because it describes my life EXACTLY!
Let's just say that my wife actually used to like football season before she meet me and my emotional roller-coasters during UM football.
I couldn't tell you what happened in the Miss St. game. Too liquored up to remember, not motivated enough to watch highlights of the last dismal game of the RR era.
Same problem. It' so upsetting that I'm just looking for something to take it away/drown my sorrows. I need to learn better coping mechanisms, I suppose.
I'm probably not all that sane, Paula Deen is in my list of 5 women I'm allowed to sleep with, if provided with an opportunity. Don't judge me, until you've seen her peach cobbler.
Don't judge me, until you've seen her peach cobbler.
Now THERE'S a bit of slang I've not heard before. Kinky.
Lets put it this way. I go to the spring game alone every time because nobody else understands why it's critical that I watch kickers miss field goals for 20 minutes. I don't sequester myself for games, but I openly encourage my wife to go shopping on fall Saturdays, and then I put away all breakables so that I can throw pillows around the room however I like without damaging anything.
I'd say I keep my cool a lot of the time...Illinois last year I would have gone absolutely ape shit if we had lost, PSU was a drunken swear-fest.
I do, however, have an MGoBlog problem. There have been several occasions where it would have been expected that I "cuddle" with her in the mornings (score!) that I just go grab my laptop and check to see if anything happened that night.
She rips on me constantly, and I'm actually okay with that.
As long as I can read "20 reasons why RR failed here, real and imagined" while I do it, I'm all for cuddling.
Just be careful not to yell out "SHOELACE" just when you don't want to and I think she'll be mostly OK with it.
I don't, but I do make her cheers to Denard basically every night we drink together.
Funny story, we were driving up to A2 for the Chill, and I kept telling her that we would run into Denard. She brushed it off and called me an idiot, but after dinner at Olga's (fuck...I miss Michigan for that) we went to Meijer over by Briarwood and the whole team was there, obviously including Denard. It was awesome.
What was the entiere team doing at Meijer?
Wait.. College wasn't that long ago. Hmm... Let me think back to yesteryear...
"Dude, I'm bored. Let's get out of here."
"Ok, sure. Where do you wanna go? Not much going on tonight."
"I dunno... lets to to like... meijer."
"What for? ... Ah... screw it. Lets go to meijer."
It was a charity event.
I have no idea what charity or anything, but from the looks of it they were each assigned either sick or poor children (could have been either, I'm not so sure) and took them shopping. My aunt who lives in A2 said that she had done something similar, and said the AD probably came up with a donation so that each kid could buy like $25 or $50 worth of cold-weather stuff or toys.
As an aside, I felt really bad for Denard. He's just trying to do his charity thing and there are people following him everywhere, like two feet off of him, with cameras and cameraphones. He took it well, but I decided against saying "what's up" just because it made me feel sorry for the guy.
One summer music festival, our primary after-hours relaxation activity was wandering around the Wal-Mart. Afterwards, we would go to the town breakwall and watch the stars until late at night/early in the morning. It was far, far in Northern Michigan, little light pollution or cloud cover, great visibility. Some of the best star-gazing I ever did took place in Michigan.
I would say this is how I am. I understand it's just a game, not a life or death situation, but I do have my moments. Especially when Michigan blatantly throws the game away. Fumble Fest at Notre Dame 3 years ago was probably the biggest time I threw a fit.
As for not watching anymore college football games if M loses, I love college football. I try to watch as many games as possible. My problem is going out after the Michigan games, so I hardly even watch the other games.
MGoBlog is definitely the epitome of my obsessiveness. I constantly visit this page for updates from Brian, TomVH, Tim, and the MGoBoard family.
Samesies, my girlfriend understands that the fun-ness of our Saturday nights depends entirely on how Michigan football performs. if she gives me shit for being grumpy then I introduce her to Chief Smack-a-Ho. i joke...I joke. But seriously.
depends on how we lost. My life wasn't in limbo durring the coaching search, but I was definitely watching it intently.
BGSU was the only game I made it to last year. That was a fun afternoon. Decent weather, friends, and Michigan rolled against the MAC.
Bet you had a heart attack when Denard got up and then went right back down on the sideline.
I was on the visitors' side of the field so I couldn't see it too well but I definitely had a FFFFUUUUUUUUU moment when I heard Carl Grapentine say that D-Rob was the Michigan player receiving attention.
I met Mr. Grapentine once, backstage at the 2008 Band-o-Rama concert. It was interesting, we talked a bit about the RR era to that point (which had already gone sour). He's a nice guy.
Carl Grapentine is, among other things:
1) a radio show host in Chicago (classical music);
2) the Michigan Stadium announcer;
3) the long-standing Michigan Marching Band announcer;
4) the voice of God;
5) a gentleman;
6) a scholar.
Truly great man.
stand when i was throwing half full beer cans across my basement during the bowl game???
Totally agree with the no more football after losing thing. Losing ruins football for the day for me.
and I check MGoBlog more than facebook now. Yes my mood during Autumn Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays depends entirely on whether or not Michigan or Green Bay win their games. The OP is just your average MGoJoe.
I do the same damn thing! I gave up Facebook for Lent. And replaced my addiction with MGOBlog. Sorry God, no progress is being made.
It's OK, I still love you.
because football is still awesome even though we're not currently getting along, but I get pissed/change channels to avoid the score line at the bottom of the screen.
When we win I'll sometimes sing the victors as the score line goes across, and by the way I'm totally normal and think the rest of you are a bunch of freak shows.
Your husband is not alone. Us diehards... die hard.
Kris, count me as part of your group sir. I have had countless discussions, arguments, debates, or what have you, with my woman (soon to be ex) on this very same topic. Lets just say that she does not "enjoy" sports. Haha well... Back to the point. These "discussions" have not been as based upon the fact of me not watching other college football games after a Michigan loss, but rather more along the lines of when Michigan loses, my attitude changes, and that I am just obsessed with sports in general. As a diehard sports fan, certainly a loss is going to dampen your spirits for the rest of the day/night. As one of my old college professors used to say "But hey, it's just part of it!" That is just a part of being a fan that truly cares about your team. You are not just some fairweather fan, but rather a fan with PASSION! Of course, the food tastes a little better at dinner, the beer just a little colder, etc after a Michigan Victory! Another debate, discussion, that maybe some of you in MGoBlog land have encountered with a gf, wife, mistress, etc is that they act like during the early years of your relationship, that you were never as diehard about sports as you are today. I just have to laugh when she says tells me such things, for I vividly remember the excitement, jubilation, and disappointment that came about in the 2004 and 2005 Michigan Football Campaigns (the first two yrs we were together). Either way Kris, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being diehard about the Maize and Blue. I am proudly in your corner, as I am sure the rest of the MGoCommunity is with you on this one. GO BLUE!!!
It's not that you're a freak, it's that everyone else DOESN'T CARE ENOUGH! It's completely rational to allow the outcome of a game between 18-21 year-olds you'll never meet to ruin your day/week/month.
My wife takes the kids and leaves on Michigan football Saturdays. There has been way to much yelling and screaming the last few years. Lets all hope and pray that Hoke can right the ship. Go Blue
I wouldn't want to go out to the bars on Sat night if Michigan lost. My friends would have to force me to go out. Most of those nights it would have been better if I had just stayed at home, I would drink too much and just be a general pain in the ass. On the rare nights I was actually having a good time in spite of the loss, if there was a tv showing highlights of the game the mood would immediately be ruined. The next morning, the loss was the first thing I would think about. This feeling would persist until the next win.
I'm much better now... really, I am.
the 2000 northwestern game, my softball team was having our team party at our sponsers. the entire team was gathered around the only TV in the place watching the game. when hayden lined up to kick that FG to tie the game, i looked at the bartender and said if he misses i want 2 double crown and cokes... the bartender looked at me like i was kidding, my buddy said to him "no he's serious" ... hayden missed the kick, i hammered back my 2 drinks and then proceeded to blackout land later that night... one of the only things i remember is wanting to fight a cab driver as a few of us walked to casino windsor...
If Michigan loses, especially if it's a really bad loss(like PSU last year), I'm no fun to be around for at least 3-4 days. I don't think I got any actual work done during the CC. I also didn't sleep much. There were many nights I found myself up at 3 or 4 in the morning checking mgoblog for the most recent flight tracker.
... I watch the game once per day during the week when we win.
I can rarely watch the game with friends at the bar, because "they don't care enough."
There is a 75% chance I will get in a fight with my wife for asking me difficult questions, like "What do you want to do for dinner?"
Also, if we lose, I can't read ESPN for a week and will avoid this site for the rest of the weekend.
I've found the older I get, the more neurotic I've become. The only positive is that I'm able to compartmentalize the losses so they don't hurt as much. While I will do everything to avoid reminders of the loss, I don't meltdown anymore. If I hadn't managed this, I'm certain the last three years would have ended our relationship.
I've also implemented wife saturday during our bye-week per the idea of another MGoPoster. That has helped too.
A few years ago I gave my wife a day of shopping for her birthday and she chose the weekend of the Sparty game. A gift is a gift, however, and I kept up my end and took her to Birch Run. I stood for hours as she shopped and did not say a word. However, by about 2 she could see that I was fading so we walked over to the bar in the parking lot (srsly, there is an Applebees or something half way across the West parking lot) and I watched the 3rd quarter while having a couple pints. She went back to Ralph Lauren and I enjoyed the fourth quarter as well. God bless her; she gets it.
I attribute my fanhood to the fact that I don't have a wife or gf.
But if M loses, I can still watch other football.
I watch like 20 of the bowl games, even the ones that don't matter.
I have a problem.
I remarried at age 53 to a wonderful woman who is simply not competitive and obviously not into sports. She will never understand my passion and emotional swings but she accepts them. My nature and occupation dictate that I virtually never swear except when watching M on Saturdays. The first time she heard me open up at the Big House was an eye opening experience for her-she reminded me there were children in our vicinity. She still doesn't condone the furniture pounding (95 yd td pass-Notre Dame) but she knows I won't change.
My sons (also wolverines) introduced me to the blog one year ago and my obsession has only gotten worse. There is no reason I should know the names of high school juniors living in Ohio but I do. I routinely read the blog while on vacation and at work. We exchange texts regarding new posts. Had I grown up in the age of the internet, my academic record would have greatly suffered.
The real question is why otherwise rational,mature individuals have such an emotional investment in a group of young men playing a game. I think all of us need an outlet where we can be free of the stresses in our mundane lives. I don't do drugs and rarely drink (how can you drink during a football game-what if the coach calls and asks for a play?) so M football is how I vent all the frustration that builds during the week. Of course, that has been slightly more difficult the past three years but I digress.
If the time comes when I don't care about football Saturdays and don't plan my work schedule around home games, then I will know I have truly become old. I am not one of the blue hairs that receive criticism on this site-I have been told on many occasions to sit down at the stadium. I still believe RR would have been successful if given a real opportunity but I will pledge my loyalty to Brady Hoke and anyone else who chooses to coach our team.
I agree there is no way I should know HS juniors on a first and last name basis, their interview/speaking skills, accessibility (for TomVH, etc.), and what coach they most often speak to on the staff. But somehow I do...
EDIT: I'm also from Dearborn, hmmm
My friends know not to talk to me or mention a game in which we lost. I refuse to discuss anything unless it is with a fellow mgoblogger. My day is ruined to the point I feel literally depressed, dont feel like going out, etc.
During the firing/coaching search I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned in bed thinking about what I would say to Dave Brandon and coming up with possible scenarios in which I could influence the process, get RR back, etc. When ignorant friends would talk about michigan football during this trivial time, I was almost brought to tears of frustration and ANGAR on multiple occasions.
To sum up...
OP 1 - OP's Wife 0
The blanket coverage now with the emergence of the internet is a good and bad thing. Good because it feeds our intensity and thirst for information. Bad because it feeds our intensity and thirst for information. Football is so popular for Michigan fans that it feels like there is very little emotional rest for the hard cores. It's a coaching controversy, it's a bowl game, a coaching search, recruiting, signing day, the following year's recruiting, spring practice, more recruiting, fall.... etc.
I anticipated a mental rest period after signing day that never happened. Maybe next year when there isn't all the stories about the transition, things will cool down? That will likely get filled up by back and forth about what people liked and didn't like about the new coaches in their first season. Or something along those lines.
If we know nothing from Mgoblog, it is that football alone can be talked about from countless angles and points of view in a year round cycle, and never get boring.
I guess. My wife is more of a fan than me. Now that I am a M Grad Student, we will go to all games this year. We are in joint counseling together for our illness.
You mean to tell me Saturday is the ONLY day that is ruined for you when Michigan loses? What is your secret to coping so well?
I too have a problem. Your story could very easily have been my story.
I found a proven remedy to a Michigan loss. After the Utah game in 08 I stopped by Campus Corner and got a handle of Jack and a bag of ice. I decided I was going to drink until I was happy again. Several hours and a very sizeable quantity of Tenesse whiskey later I suddenly found myself very happy - perhaps akin to a "moment of clarity". I only tested this remedy the once, but it still should provide hope to fellow fanatics.
should have married a Michigan Woman! /jk
The drawback to that is double the shouting during the game and double the sadness if we lose.
The dog, on the other hand, does not understand our obsession.
While none of the above applies to me specifically, it all applies to me generally. At the same time some of it does in fact apply to me specifically, but not necessarily generally.
We all live and die and bleed with Saturday afternoons and our loved ones either take the hit or ride the wave.
Let's all remember that as much as we love the Maize and Blue family is both more important and something we can affect directly.
Let there be more waves in the near future.
Go Family and Go Blue!
You and your damn rationality! This thread is a support group for the crazies like, uhh, me. Come on man. Haha.
Last year, games like Iowa and PSU really stung, probably for three or four days.
But the games like msu, wisconsin, NTmsu and osu where we were blown out were games that just didn't hurt like they should have. I was over them in probably a day. These last few years have really gotten me accustomed to losing like that and it really sucks.
I'm right there with you, and it's gotten worse since the basketball team has been better. Luckily I found a woman who understands. She wanted a fall wedding and I told her Sept 29th of 2012 was my choice. Knowing that I would have spent the reception checking scores/watching the game on any other date she agreed. Love that woman.
Looks forward to the bye week almost as much as I look forward to every game.
This is the perfect opportunity for me to apologize to the families that sat in the seats to my left and immediately in front of me at the Gator Bowl. The family to my left departed the game in the third quarter and the father of the family in front of me said he would never go to another game again. At the time, I blamed their disdain on our poor performance, but recently have come to terms with the fact that it was actually my blackout swearfest that ruined their game experience (allthough, the root of the evil can be traced back to our on-field meltdown).
My wife of seven years, whom was never a Michigan fan, now wears the colors proudly and prays for a win every Saturday just so she can stomach co-existing with me during the fall. Sad to say, I'm not getting any better over time. Thank God for a somewhat understanding wife and three kids.
Yes, right in front of my wife. Thats how bad the past 3yrs have been for me. I know it runs counter to many here, and thats fine because opinions are like.......... I'd taken to a terrible habit of spitting whenever I said the mans name(Rodriguez that is). I'm not sure exactly when it started, sometime in year 2 I think. Many games I watch in my garage where I have a decent TV and when the weathers good, why not. It was the PSU game this year and I was watching inside(bad weather maybe?) and wife was noodling about the house when she saw the incident. She just stood there looking at me like.... really?? on the carpet?? She was damn near as happy as I was when Rod was fired. Hopefully no more such uglyness need occur.
they say Im a Michigan fan and Im not the only one..
My obsession prevents me from doing many things.
I cannot - absolutely cannot - watch a Michigan game with someone who isn't equally obsessed as me. I'll explain the rules of football to someone when we're watching a Pac-10 game or whatever, but not when Michigan's playing. If you can't discuss the defensive two-deep, stay away while the game's going on.
-I also will never, ever watch the game with a fan of the opposing team, no matter how good a friend he/she may be. I cannot understand what would drive someone to ever sell a ticket to a fan of the opponent. Seeing fans of the opposing team in OUR stadium/arena (outside of the designated visitor's section) stirs up an anger in me on par with someone discovering that their best friend slept with their girlfriend.
-I never discuss any non-game-related topic while the game's going on, except possibly during halftime.
-I never drink before or during a game. My fandom requires sober concentration. While I recognize that some fans drink to loosen their inhibitions and be louder during the game, being loud isn't a problem for me to begin with and I don't like the idea of ever not being able to remember a game very well afterwards.
I am with you on the "not watching with someone not on the same level." I had to watch with a kid who a buddy brought to the bar recently, who said things that were stupid about our team (as in, uneducated). I just got up and walked away from him, telling him, "listen, dude, I can't talk to you during this game. I'm sorry. I don't have time to explain to you why you're wrong on so many levels."
I also can't stand watching with fellow M fans who don't read MGoBlog or who don' t have well-formed opinions. You can disagree with me, that's fine. But if you haven't put a lot of thought into it, and can't have well-formed reasons for disagreeing with me,I have spiteful disdain for you. I think most of the regulars on this blog probably understand. People who would say just dumb, untrue, uneducated things they get from the MSM about M football, especially during the RR era...can't stand to watch games with them.
I love Michigan football as much as the next guy, but if a good game is on later in the day, I'm still going to watch if I can. Football's just a fun sport to watch. There's nothing better than a fall Saturday.
Same problem for me, but the last three years have made the losses less painful. Maybe it was because they were so frequent.
On a different note, after reading the suggestion of another mgouser, I've been training my baby in utero with hail to the victors. We play it for her two or three times a week and I push on my wife's belly when there is a "hail". I think my baby is starting to understand the idea, because sometimes she'll kick back on cue. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
If MIchigan loses, I want to watch another game as soon as possible to get the bad memories out of my brain. Luckily, as I've gotten older, I've gotten pretty zen about things and don't stay pissed nearly as long as I used to.
My wife excepts the fact that I'm an Id10t when it comes to College Football. I get thirteen Saturdays a year and that’s it. I know changing clothes a halftime of myself and the kids won't help but maybe it does. Also one day my Sith powers will work when I try and use the "Force Choke" on a ref or opposing players and my vulgarity will pay off because they will hear it at the game. I too am grouchy till about Wednesday of the next week if UM loses but I was also this way when I played back in the day, Nature/Nurture. All my friends are the same way but worse and I point that out to the Wife when I'm freaking out in the basement/M man cave.
"BAD CALL REF"
I must be a little different b/c I don't avoid seeing the score on ESPN after a loss... I almost seek it out sometimes. I pull up the recap and just seethe.
Notice the beam of light shining down on Denard
Wow, thanks for posting that. It is my new wallpaper.
I think we're all this way because we don't know how not to be--it's in our soul. My problem is that I have a hard time watching games/being at events with people who aren't as obsessed as I am. I also hate dating guys who want to come with me to games/watch games with me if they're not already fans. I know I should think it's sweet that they're trying to be interested in what I'm interested in, but Michigan to me isn't a hobby it's my life. If we aren't dating seriously you're not allowed to be in my life like that. :)
...for the obsure reference and, even better, the keen eyes/ears who spotted it.
Does the countdown to MSU clock start out at Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes?
My wife was a pole vaulter at Washington State University and feels like she is a big Cougar fan but when it comes to Saturdays she is blown away about my Dad and I's love for Michigan football/every Michigan Wolverine team. She as well hates that I get so pissed when they lose, I told her thats the way it is. Either way, on Saturdays, I drink beers galore and I am either super happy or pissed off and hate every other college football game on.
Her family and all my friends over here in Seattle dont get why I am so in to it and they ask me to explain. I say that I cant talk or try to explain it if you have never been to the Big House. (I am taking my wife this October to see her first game)
PS. UW Husky fans talk mad crap about Michigan and they hate us and now i want to punchasize every Husky fan in the face. They are up their with Sparty and Suckeyes on my hatred meter.