http://www.theonion.com/articles/jerry-sandusky-ill-never-forget-all-the-things-joe,27169/
I would write something about this article, but I can't. I feel dirty.
i find this extremely interesting
OT - The Onion interviews Sandusky at JoePa's funeral
January 26th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
#1
OT - The Onion interviews Sandusky at JoePa's funeral
January 26th, 2012 at 3:54 PM | 
that is pretty fucked up.
that is pretty fucked up.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:00 PM |
Seriously
Seriously
I read it and theres no laughs, just the same cringe-inducing note over and over again
Whatcha gonna do, little brother?
January 26th, 2012 at 4:06 PM |
It's not supposed to be funny
It's not supposed to be funny
it's supposed to be biting and pissed-off.
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter.
January 26th, 2012 at 9:04 PM |
agree. Creepy--yes--
agree. Creepy--yes--
but spot on, I'm afraid.
January 26th, 2012 at 6:08 PM |
downding
downding
I have always, and even more now, hated the fucking Onion. It wasn't relevant when it was relevant.
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:53 PM |
The picture at the top of
The picture at the top of
The picture at the top of that article made me vomit all over my computer.
Michigan: 903–315–36 (Best in NCAA)
vs Ohio State: 58-44-6
vs Notre Dame: 23-16-1
vs MSU: 68-32-5
vs B1G: 522-197-24
vs SEC: 20-8-1
vs PAC 12: 48-24-1
vs Big 12: 10-5-1<
January 26th, 2012 at 3:58 PM |
I know it's the Onion
I know it's the Onion
But too soon, way too soon. And don't make the mistake of reading the article like I did. Sick.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:57 PM |
Wow!
Wow!
What on earth was he doing there? He turned a funeral into a side show event. The guy truly needs to disappear.
Rest in Peace Joe Pa.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:59 PM |
Uhh
Uhh
Its the Onion
Whatcha gonna do, little brother?
January 26th, 2012 at 4:00 PM |
It's the Onion. The
It's the Onion. The
It's the Onion. The interview never happened and I'd be shocked if that photo wasn't photoshopped. It's the Onion's idea of humor to fake an interview with a child rapist in which Sandusky praises JoePa for everything he did.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:17 PM |
No
No
it's the Onion's idea of biting social commentary to illustrate the absurdity of the media's coverage of Joe Paterno's death by having Sandusky praise Paterno in a similar way that everyone else has been praising Paterno.
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter.
January 26th, 2012 at 5:02 PM |
I guess I see that. The
I guess I see that. The
I guess I see that. The whole business just leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth that even social commentary is tough to take.
January 26th, 2012 at 5:17 PM |
Well said, can't believed
Well said, can't believed
Well said, can't believed this is lost on so many people.
Yes, the Onion is parody, but it often has a point to it, not just some dumb site you go to to watch a dude get hit by a football thrown by son.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:33 PM |
Totally shooped, here's the
Totally shooped, here's the
January 26th, 2012 at 6:36 PM |
Shoop
Shoop
January 26th, 2012 at 4:16 PM |
Careful, you're going to end
Careful, you're going to end
January 26th, 2012 at 4:00 PM |
Can somebody please post the
Can somebody please post the
Can somebody please post the link to that up on Black Shoes diary? Talk about hitting the nail squarely on the head - these guys have done it. What the wrote is 100% spot on
January 26th, 2012 at 4:01 PM |
I need to scrub my brain
I need to scrub my brain
after that. Damn. Just... damn.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:01 PM |
This is one of the best Onion articles I've ever read
This is one of the best Onion articles I've ever read
All that this article is doing is putting fictional quotes to the point that Brian made. Paterno enabled Sandusky to do all the f'd up things he did. This is exactly what Joe-pa did. I don't think this article is taking any cheap shots at all, it's just putting the actual situation into perspective.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:03 PM |
maybe, but you know, have
maybe, but you know, have
maybe, but you know, have some respect for the dead, huh?
This is home...
January 26th, 2012 at 4:05 PM |
neg me all you want, Joepa
neg me all you want, Joepa
neg me all you want, Joepa lost his right to respect (dead or alive) when he turned his head.
Tenim un nom el sap tothom. Barca, Barca, BAAARCA!
January 26th, 2012 at 4:07 PM |
Is it really about having
Is it really about having
Is it really about having respect for the dead, or asking people to respect a person you respect? Kim Jung Il and Usama bin Laden didn't get any respect from the board after their deaths, and nobody had a problem with that (note: I'm not comparing those people, other than to say they're all dead and received different responses to their deaths).
I think it has more to do with people respecting Paterno before he died, and nothing to do with the fact that he's dead.
"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins
January 26th, 2012 at 4:09 PM |
Why?
Why?
Why have respect for the dead, what great accomplishment is it to die where you can't be criticized anymore. I don't think that breathing is an invititation to disrespect and that dying is an automatic revocation of the right to disrespect someone.
Treat the living and the dead with the amount of respect that they deserve. Joe-pa enabled the gruesome and terrible acts of Sandusky and just because he died doesn't mean we forget about or cover up these terrible acts.
Every eulogy and article about Joe-pa talks about all the good he did for 18-22 yr old boys. What about all the good he didn't do for 12-15 yr old boys. I'm not saying that this gets rid of all the good he did, but we can't act like he was such a saint with what we know happened. It's important that we take the bad with the good when we think about his legacy.
While we may not like what the article has to say, tell me what part of it is false.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:15 PM |
When Jerry Sandusky dies
When Jerry Sandusky dies
no one will be saying "respect for the dead, can't talk about the child rape." Nor should they. Everyone agrees that "respect for the dead" evaporates at a certain level of heinous behavior. Joe Paterno's behavior was clearly nowhere near the evil of Sandusky. But, to me at least, it was easily bad enough that I just don't care about "respect for the dead" with regard to him.
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter.
January 26th, 2012 at 5:21 PM |
I was thinking more
I was thinking more
in terms of a shot to the victims. Shot might not be the word I'm looking for since this was obviously aimed at Joepa and Sandusky. Maybe show some respect for the victims? I do love a good barbous (word?) shot at douchebags but the victims could read this, too.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:03 PM |
I'm not getting all the
I'm not getting all the
I'm not getting all the backlash either. Yes, the humor is dark; on the other hand, the situation is dark. This is a good commentary on Paterno's ultimate legacy, and I think it brings the point home well.
South Park didn't get the outrage on this board when they were recycling old Catholic priest jokes on an episode last season.
"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins
January 26th, 2012 at 4:02 PM |
i peed myself reading that.
i peed myself reading that.
i peed myself reading that.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:05 PM |
The Onion is the best at
The Onion is the best at
The Onion is the best at using comedy to illuminate the truth.
Tenim un nom el sap tothom. Barca, Barca, BAAARCA!
January 26th, 2012 at 4:08 PM |
That article just made me feel unclean
That article just made me feel unclean
I couldn't even laugh
Janeane Garofalo (Film Actors Guild): "As actors it is our responsibility to read the newspaper, and then say what we read on television like it's our opinion"
January 26th, 2012 at 4:11 PM |
Yeah, it is scary when a
Yeah, it is scary when a
Yeah, it is scary when a parody article gets to the truth of the matter better than the MSM and seems to understand the truth better than the general public.
This headline is also quite relevant:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/joe-paterno-dies-in-hospital-doctors-promise-to-te,27125/
And too soon does not count when someone was hurt and hurt bad by the actions of the deceased. Once you do what Joe did you give up the right to have you life remembered differently than it really was. Sorry Joe, I wish it were different.
Go Blue!
January 26th, 2012 at 4:15 PM |
It wasn't funny...
It wasn't funny...
But not sure it was intended to be... it buried the punchline, but the article is a major slap in the face. Good read - awkward, sure, but sorry, amidst the memorials and ESPN fawning over JoePa's passing, are we really going to pretend that this sort of commentary isn't fair game?
Sorry - the dead may be buried, but these issues can't, and shouldn't be buried. The proverbial "elephant in the room" in that article was spot-on.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:16 PM |
the Twitters
the Twitters
I've been following #positivePSUtweets (engendered by deadspin) all day and its been messy and hilarious. Its pretty dark, just like this article.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:21 PM |
That article is freaking
That article is freaking
That article is freaking brilliant, and anyone who doesn't recognize that should be ashamed.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:21 PM |
Rosenberg ripping Phill Knight ripping the PSU trustees
Rosenberg ripping Phill Knight ripping the PSU trustees
@Rosenberg_Mike
Phil Knight just ripped Penn State for the Sandusky investigation. I bet the kids in his factories are proud.
Touche Mike, touche.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:30 PM |
Rosenberg, current as ever
Rosenberg, current as ever
Nike has done a 180 on labor practices since the 1990s. Children don't make Nike shoes these days.
Moeller v. Excalibur Restaurant -- Fight!
January 26th, 2012 at 4:41 PM |
Not exactly . . . .
Not exactly . . . .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nike,_Inc.#Sweatshops
Not going to get into a debate, since its way OT, but Nike's hands still aren't clean.
Its kind of fitting too, since we're talking about decade-old transgressions.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:21 PM |
Truly great satire
Truly great satire
So was this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-10yearold-boys-if-you-see-someone-raping-u,26724/
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra
January 26th, 2012 at 4:32 PM |
Even though it's the Onion...
Even though it's the Onion...
...and all that, are we sure that it's a fake interview? Because that's probably about what Sandusky would say. Happy Valley should be renamed Delusionville.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:33 PM |
I enjoyed the BCS article
I enjoyed the BCS article
I enjoyed the BCS article there:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/unpopular-bcs-crowns-alabama-national-c...
January 26th, 2012 at 4:34 PM |
Normally love the Onion
Normally love the Onion
but this just seemed way too dark for me. Can't believe the phrase "too soon?" hasn't been written like a thousand times in this thread.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:39 PM |
welp here comes my neg but
welp here comes my neg but
Disgusting situation and disgusting topic for a "humor" rag... I like the onion but I could barely click this thread let alone the article
NOMNOMNOMNOM
January 26th, 2012 at 4:44 PM |
The intent wasn't to induce laughter
The intent wasn't to induce laughter
The point was to remind the reader of Paterno's role in Sandusky's alleged crimes.
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra
January 26th, 2012 at 5:01 PM |
well
well
I guess I'm one who thinks Paterno's role has been overstated, that the article is untimely and disrespectful in its very existence, and that The Onion should stick tto zingers. But to each its own.
NOMNOMNOMNOM
January 26th, 2012 at 5:15 PM |
Paterno's role...
Paterno's role...
Is summed up pretty much perfectly in that Onion piece. At the risk of beating a dead horse, people aren't saying, "Joe could be kind of a jerk" or "Joe should have run a more wide-open offense" or "Joe wasn't a great recruiter there at the end." What's being said is that Joe let a guy who he knew was a rapist of children - who used PSU facilities to commit his acts - to continue to bring children to PSU facilities w/out being monitored.
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra
January 26th, 2012 at 6:24 PM |
....after he testified to the
....after he testified to the
....after he testified to the grand jury that McQuery told him something sexual happened between Sandusky and the child in the showers. For an entire year after his testimony. After he testified to the grand jury. And then came out with a statement that he didn't even know what a man raping a boy meant. Literally. He didn't know how it would happen.
January 26th, 2012 at 6:29 PM |
I hear you guys...
I hear you guys...
And I think the nature of the atrocities amplifies the import of action... and many think he didn't act appropriately once he heard the news but, 1) He went to campus police, and 2) He was senile at that point as evidenced by the fact that he didn't know how manlove could occur.
What happened was awful. Joe Pa could have done more and should have done more. But I don't think he's as culpable as is being painted. And I don't think what happened should taint the preceding decades of teaching and success. Nor do I think it's appropriate to mock the man's funeral.
But again, I hear you guys.
NOMNOMNOMNOM
January 26th, 2012 at 6:55 PM |
I'm confused by your modern depravities!
I'm confused by your modern depravities!
I think his senility and frailty at age 84 might explain why he thought he could claim that he didn't even understand pedophilic rape in an interview. But he's completely full of shit about not getting it 10 years earlier - at the height of the Catholic Church scandal. Yes, yes - JoePa came from the sheltered, quaint land of ... Brooklyn, in the distant decades before anyone had any idea that someone could sexually assault a child.
He's the unfrozen caveman coach.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:48 PM |
Well Trod Path
Well Trod Path
by our pals at The Onion. Can't imagine EVERYONE thought the linked was hilarious, but, it was pretty damn funny. Re: Paterno/Sandusky, that's a bit riskier (and lewd and risque), I didn't think the pay-off was quite as high as they might have...
Enjoy an oldie, but a goodie!
http://www.theonion.com/issue/3734/
Larry
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
January 26th, 2012 at 5:04 PM |
Great Writing
Great Writing
The best part about this article is that there isn't a single "joke" in the whole damn thing. In fact, had the scandal never occurred this article could easily have been written by the legit press as an actual obit piece. Juxtaposing that against what actually happened in the real world and you have a simple yet brilliant piece of satire.
that is pretty fucked up.
i mean, there's humor, even dark humor. and then there's this, which just a step below going to happy valley and defecating on Joe Paterno's grave.
This is home...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgijdypJUEQ