OT: No masturbating in showers
I hope this hasn't been posted, I checked to board and everything. A friend of mind just sent me this article from the Huffington Post and it made me laugh so I thought I should share. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/07/masturbation-university-m_n_38…
December 7th, 2009 at 7:16 PM ^
no way this is real..
December 7th, 2009 at 7:22 PM ^
IIRC, they had to post those in South Quad.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:27 PM ^
It happened last year, and the year before. It was actually a hoax by a group of students, but there was definitely some media attention, and the University didn't deny involvement...
December 7th, 2009 at 7:39 PM ^
I call bullshit, and I have six different reasons.
1: This is my fourth year in SQuad and I've never seen a sign even remotely like that.
2: I haven't heard anything about one being posted anywhere on campus, and if it was, the Daily would have a field day with it.
3: There is no "University of Michigan Honor Code." The College of Engineering has an Honor Code, but as far as I know none of the other colleges do, and there definitely isn't anything university-wide that's referred to as an Honor Code.
4: The University very rarely uses the school seal, and would NEVER use it for something like this. "The primary purpose of the University Seal is to certify official University documents, including diplomas, certificates, and official acts by the Board of Regents. Since the introduction of the wordmark, the Seal should be used primarily for regental and presidential purposes only."
5: There's no mention of the Residence Halls Association, which would actually be the ones posting something like this.
6: The joke has been done before at other universities, and was proven to be a hoax back then too.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:44 PM ^
If you're going to make rational, sound, fact-based arguments, you better take that shit somewhere else.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:53 PM ^
Clarification:
"It is real," as in not 'shopped.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:06 PM ^
Damn, 4 years living in the dorms. You are a loser. Cool people are one and done. Does it suck to not get pussy? Neg if you want, but if you attended UofM you know what im talking about.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:15 PM ^
Here's to hoping you don't "get pussy" like Ted Bundy did.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 PM ^
Right... and I suppose you're one of the cool people. That's why you have to insult people on the internet for attention.
Christ I hate trolls.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:27 PM ^
I'm not trolling or insulting him, just calling him out for what he is. While people like you were living out in the dorms you're sophomore, junior and senior years, I was raging hard at ricks, slamming pitchers at skeeps, taking home the hot chicks you wanked to while staring out you're dorm room windows.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:31 PM ^
is a hell of a drug.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:50 PM ^
Your time at U of M included going around using terms like "raging hard" and convincing yourself that the chicks you brought home after slamming a few pitchers were "hot."
December 7th, 2009 at 8:59 PM ^
I'll give you that. Hot at 2:00 am works for me.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:54 AM ^
Given your drunken stupor, are you sure it wasn't actually MSU you spent your time at? Because, um, sounds like it.
December 7th, 2009 at 9:04 PM ^
Including Herpes.
December 7th, 2009 at 9:09 PM ^
Can't go to Skeeps or "rage hard at Rick's". Or maybe he's just not a douchebag because I only lived in the dorms for 2 years and I didn't really go to Skeeps or Ricks because frankly it sucks.
But to each their own.
December 7th, 2009 at 10:08 PM ^
staring out dorm room windows
You forgot to mention studying.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:19 PM ^
+1 for actually finding a legitimate use for the blink tag.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:27 AM ^
Hey now, being the RA that didn't give a shit when the kids drank was fun.
PS, how did it feel to be the oldest man at Skeeps? Who goes there after they turn 21?
December 8th, 2009 at 1:44 PM ^
My sophomore/junior years, while living with fraternity brothers and friends I attended skeeps underage. And anybody that knows anything, knows tuesday nights at skeeps is perfectly acceptable place to throw down for the 21 year old drinker.
I'm sorry i offended all of you nerds. Jeez, I bet you all made it football games by kickoff.
December 8th, 2009 at 3:37 AM ^
Ought to know how to keep his tenses consistent.
December 7th, 2009 at 11:41 PM ^
I'm a 4 year dormer myself.
Oddly enough my decision had less to do with pussy and more to do with cooking, cleaning, and location.
But you must have been an honor student to have been in SQuad as a freshman, so I probably don't like you(totally jk, I swear)
I am actually in my third year of SQuad. My freshman year was Markley, which is why I now think SQuad is so great...
December 7th, 2009 at 11:50 PM ^
It's clear you didn't attend.
So, because I was an RA for two years, and didn't want to go into debt, does that make me a loser?
Please leave, troll. Now.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:30 PM ^
but I lived in SQuad, and saw a similar sign put up in 2006, 7th floor. Still funny.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:41 PM ^
Oh, those crazy Honors College kids.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:23 PM ^
Fred-Taylor rules the school!!!
December 7th, 2009 at 11:58 PM ^
4th Taylor Represent!
December 7th, 2009 at 9:20 PM ^
...albeit without the fancy logo graphic. Our RA posted some signs over the urinals asking us to aim carefully after some idiots kept pissing on the floor. We fired back with signs including "Shake," "Please do not fart if a fellow resident is next to you," and "If you tap more than twice, you playin'!"
December 8th, 2009 at 1:54 PM ^
+1 for bringing back memories of West Quad in 92
December 7th, 2009 at 7:18 PM ^
My friends a freshmen at UofM this year, and he showed me that last year when he was reading through the rules and saw that.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:26 PM ^
But that's the best place to do it. No clean up.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:41 PM ^
Yeah, right. The number of times I've stepped into the shower onboard ship and seen a couple stray freshwater jellyfish floating around.....just, ew.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:50 PM ^
Beware standing water in the showers.
December 7th, 2009 at 9:07 PM ^
Wow. You crack me up. It won't harm the guy doing the deed but there may be some innocent bystanders.
December 8th, 2009 at 11:53 AM ^
That's why they're called "drain babies"
December 7th, 2009 at 7:21 PM ^
This sign has popped up every fall for the past 5 or 6 years. (Not necessarily here) Still hilarious.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:21 PM ^
I don't think the last part is needed asking you to masturbate in your own rooms. I can't believe that that is completely true.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:22 PM ^
Yeah, I've seen this in the dorms before, but I think it's something that is up at a lot of schools right now as a prank.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:25 PM ^
what kind of country is this when a man can't masterbate in a shower?
December 8th, 2009 at 6:38 AM ^
a "shower cap" would help prevent future pipe clogs?
December 7th, 2009 at 7:28 PM ^
We had this pop up a few years ago at UNC in the dorms. I think it's one of those ubiquitous campus jokes.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:34 PM ^
If I had a million dollars I would bet it all on this being a hoax.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:47 PM ^
It's obvious: the players are expending their manly essences in the shower, thereby leaving them depleted of their animal vitality when gametime comes, er, arrives.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:51 PM ^
The various Honor Codes are attached, and it does not appear that the University has a universal "Honor Code," as such. http://www.crlt.umich.edu/faculty/honor.php
NB: This post does not constitute legal advice, and in no way condones the maneuvers to which the sign pertains.
December 7th, 2009 at 7:54 PM ^
At some fake university in California, splooge in the pipes somehow ends up in a campus radioactive waste disposal facility, mutations happen, and pretty soon hot babes in the dorm showers find themselves confronting horrible things crawling up out of the drains.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:10 PM ^
For about three days outside the bathroom in my hall. Somebody took it down after that. I don't care that its probably fake, its still hilarious.
And this is America. I will masturbate wherever I damn well please. Thats called LIBERTY.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:32 PM ^
I've been looking for a title for my autobiography. Thanks.