Excuse me while I whip this out!!
further adventures in Jed York being unsuited for his position
Excuse me while I whip this out!!
Rule 76: Play like a champion!
Rule (?): No excuses!
Die, gas pumper!
Die, you random son of a bitch.
He hates these cans!
Ah... It's a profit deal.
I've got one of those! I've got a special purpose!
It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.
I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need.
Navin, I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass.
Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
[singing] I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you.
The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! ... I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?
:Damn these glasses son.
: Yes, sir... [to the glasses] I damn thee.
First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.
Don't call that dog "lifesaver;" call him "shithead."
I don't care about losing all the money. It's losing all the stuff.
Ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license - and - my astronaut application form... I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.
Also the entire Dumb and Dumber film, same for Caddyshack. I couldn't tell you how often I go through the Cinderella story, ex-groundskeeper gone pro routine.
EDIT: And the entire Big Lebowski film. I tend to use the "Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community." line just as much as any of the rest. Can't imagine why.
That's an amazing line and relevant in all walks of life.
"Waiter, there are SNAILS on her plate! Take, those away and bring those toasted cheese finger sandwiches you talked me out of."
"This isn't Nam, there are rules!"(Not an exact quote, I know.)
"Eat the food!" - Napoleon Dynamite llama feeding scene. ( I have inadvertently trained our dog not to eat until she hears this.)
"I wish you had more time." Man on Fire
"Pay the man his money" - Rounders
"So I've got that going for me" - Caddyshack
"...no talent ass clown" - Office Space
"Daaaaaaaaaaang" - Joe Dirt
"Was that wrong?" - George Costanza
and of course...
This one is great for everyday use.
I ain't got time to bleed.
Always love "lllliike a glove" when pulling into a tight parking spot.
I do that every single time I am able to negotiate a tight spot.
That's what she said.
Any one liner in any Arnold movie.
"I'll be back."
"He had to let off some steam." Commando
It's not a tumor.
on a cheesy one-liner like Arnold, especially in the cinematic masterpiece known as "Commando."
"You're my boy, Blue"
Frank the Tank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."
Champ Kind: "60% of the time, it works every time."
San Diego, from the German meaning Whale's Vagina.
Picked her up at a funeral. Her husband died in a hang gliding accident. 'Oh honey I'm hang gliding take a good picture...I'M DEAD.' What an IDIOT
And I want to be pimps from Harlem but it's not Halloween. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocolate.
"Get busy living or get busy dying." - Shawshank Redemption
"We all got it coming, kid." - Unforgiven
"Shoot, I even thought I was dead, till I found out that I was just in Nebraska." - Unforgiven
"Need to have a shyte!" - Snatch
"You're a dick." - Wolverine to Cyclops to prove that he was, in fact, Woverine and not Mystique in X-Men.
"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; for hates sake, I spit my last breath at thee." - Khan, quoting Moby Dick, in Wrath of Khan.
A lot of great lines from the two good Guy Ritchie movies. I prefer "you like dags?" when our dog greets someone in our house. Or "Five minutes, Turkish," when someone's getting impatient about something.
"That's not exactly a soup question, is it?
"Dancing is not what I do, it's who I am" - Jessica Alba in Honey
An unintentional cheesetasticly funny line from one of the worst movies ever. Laughed so hard I thought I cracked a rib.
throughout - so it is a great film in my book.
Only reason I watched it....
every once in awhile try dropping the great Alec Baldwin line from The Departed, machine-gun style:
"I'm gonna go for a smoke. You want a smoke? You don't smoke do you? What are you one of those fitness freaks? Go fuck yourself."
"Ludicrous Speed! GO!"
Also, whenever the opposing team is lining up a field goal I always say "Miss it Danny! Nyuht...nyut...m-m-miss it. miss it!"
"Hey! There's Skittles in there!"
"It's too hot for a penguin to just be walking around" (Billy Madison)
"Take the ringer" (Big Lebowski)
"No..It's gotta be your bull..." (Tommy Boy)
"I'm your Huckleberry" (Tombstone)
"That John Denver is full of shit, man" (Dumb and Dumber)
"It's good...it's good" (Clark Griswold - Christmas Vacation)
"I'm kind of a big deal...people know me" (Anchorman)
Anytime my roommate or I say "What the fuck does that mean?", the other will bust out the full quote:
"'PC Load Letter'?! What the fuck does that mean?" - Michael Bolton, Office Space
"Fuckin' aye, man" - same movie
I too quote "PC load letter?!" Makes you want to beat the crap out of the printer/fax machine, and the scene where they do so is just so damn satisfying.
all right, I believe you...but my Tommy gun don't!
Get out of here, you nosy little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly.
Beat that, you little trout sniffer.
"Just another one of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits" (Lesbian Vampire Killers)
Jack Burton: That is not water.
Egg Shen: Black blood of the earth.
Jack Burton: Do you mean oil?
Egg Shen: No, I mean black blood of the earth.
"yo, those are some good cheese fries"
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
"Nobody, and I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog."
Did you get the memo?
Looks like SOMEONE's got a case of the Mondays.
UHF: "You found the marble in the oatmeal! You get to drink from the fire hose!
Damn it...you beat me to the Clay Davis quote. Well at least I still enjoy these:
Yeah, but this is my shooting hand. - Blazing Saddles
Yes, he in fact has no dick. -Ghostbusters
who hasn't done "na na na na na nah nah" when putting, from Caddyshack?
And one applicable to a lot of situations-
Goddamn, this is a pretty fu**ing good (insert item, usually food).
I don't know if it's worth ($amount) dollars, but it's pretty fu**ing good. - Pulp Fiction
"That is correct"-Billy Madison, in my very best Farley impression
"They should be suckin' on my ball sack." -Superbad, whenever anyone does something I don't like
"Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.' -Napolean Dynamite, Whenever someone in my lab makes a statement about their results
Actually Napolean Dynamite is awesome for so many quotes I use all the time.
Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
Just follow your heart. That's what I do.
Your mom goes to college
Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day.
Because there's no crying in baseball.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means". - Princess Bride
"Pain don't hurt".
"I see your Schwartz is a big as mine."
"What's your name?
Your full name!
Spider Pig. Does whatever a Spider Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't - he's a pig. Loooooooooooooook out! He is a Spider Pig