OT: Movie Lines (One Should Never Use in Bed)
At the risk of precipitating a full-scale meltdown of this site, the franchise must continue while there’s still dippity in the hippity. What we need are the movie lines which one absolutely does NOT want to say (or hear!) when, ehhh...the blood has begin to race, the sleeping bud has burst into bloom, and rich desire has unlocked it’s door:
1. Houston, we have a problem. (Apollo 13)
2. What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? (Kingpin)
3. You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. (Elizabethtown)
4. Riddle me this and riddle me that? Who’s afraid of the big bad bat? (Batman Returns)
5. You get your ass out there and you find that f----n’ dog! (Billy Madison)
6. I got these small hands. I got a little girl’s hands. (Raging Bull)
7. They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity. (The Incredibles)
8. Judge me by my size, you do. Do not. (The Empire Strikes Back)
9. I hate it when it does that. (Top Gun)
10. I’m gonna make you squeal like a pig, boy! (Deliverance)
Bonus (badness with extra cheese):
11. I am your father. (The Empire Strikes Back)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:01 PM ^
"Say hello to my little friend" (Scarface)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:04 PM ^
"Come with me if you want to live." (Terminator 2)
January 18th, 2010 at 10:40 PM ^
"I know now why you cry."
January 18th, 2010 at 9:02 PM ^
I farted.
Fat Bastard
January 18th, 2010 at 9:03 PM ^
It's ironic that the first time in my life that I feel remotely affectionate for her, is when she's dead.
(igby goes down)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:05 PM ^
"I'll be back." (only you won't) -Terminator
January 18th, 2010 at 9:06 PM ^
"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world"? - Dumb & Dumber.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:08 PM ^
"I've got worms!"
January 18th, 2010 at 9:07 PM ^
I will do it with my speaw and magic hewmet.
- Elmer Fudd, What's Opera, Doc?
January 18th, 2010 at 9:08 PM ^
From the last thread, but it still fits: "Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
January 18th, 2010 at 9:09 PM ^
This one time at Band Camp
January 18th, 2010 at 9:11 PM ^
"If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis." (Billy Madison)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:13 PM ^
Dammit Pijer, you beat me to it!
January 18th, 2010 at 9:13 PM ^
"It's in the hole!" - Caddyshack
January 18th, 2010 at 9:29 PM ^
"All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers!"
"I smell varmit poontang, and the only good varmit poontang is dead varmit poontang."
January 18th, 2010 at 10:14 PM ^
"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, you wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
January 18th, 2010 at 10:57 PM ^
I feel like 100 dollars.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:14 PM ^
You're one ugly motherfucker.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:15 PM ^
Your pussy's as big as a house!
Your pussy's as big as a house!
January 18th, 2010 at 10:20 PM ^
Haha.
Along those lines, here's one from Predator that even Jesse Ventura would not dare utter in bed:
"Come on in you fuckers. Ol' Painless is waiting."
January 19th, 2010 at 6:05 PM ^
"Jeez you got a big pussy"
"Jeez you got a big pussy"
"why did you say it twice"
"I didn't, it's cuz of the echo"
January 18th, 2010 at 9:14 PM ^
Two from Liar Liar:
"I've had better"
and
"You've got bad breath caused by gingivitis."
January 18th, 2010 at 9:16 PM ^
Oh no you did not shoot that green shit at me!!! (Independence Day)
"Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles" (Knocked Up)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:25 PM ^
Another ID4 quote:
"Gentlemen, LETS PLOW THE ROAD"
January 18th, 2010 at 9:16 PM ^
"Get this big walking carpet out of my way." -Leia
January 18th, 2010 at 9:35 PM ^
I've got a bad feeling about this.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:18 PM ^
(Sheila) "You found me attractive once."
(Ash) "Honey, you got real ugly."
--------------
(Ash - opening narrative) "But that didn't stop it. It came back big time. For God's sake, how do you stop it?"
--------------
(Ash) "This is my boomstick!" (I've used that one with the wife before)
(Ash) "Yo she-bitch, let's go"
"Come get some"
and many more...
January 18th, 2010 at 9:18 PM ^
"Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - a wonderful personality!"
(Black Widow Spider - Corpse Bride)
"Gives wax off a whole new meaning."
(Funny Balls of Fury)
"I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School."
(40 Year Old Virgin)
January 18th, 2010 at 9:20 PM ^
"I see dead People" Sixth Sense
January 18th, 2010 at 9:21 PM ^
Roadhouse
January 18th, 2010 at 9:21 PM ^
Weird thread, but +1 for the Phantom reference. Let's see....
"What the hell's gotten into you? My thing got stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants."
"Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."
Tommy Boy - a movie quote gold mine if ever there was one.
January 18th, 2010 at 11:23 PM ^
I figured that I was the only one who caught the quotes from Phantom. I underestimated the knowledge of the MGoBoard.
It may already be posted, and sorry for not checking if it was:
"Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn." --Gone With the Wind
January 18th, 2010 at 9:21 PM ^
"Hold on to the damn ball!" -Friday Night Lights. This would soon be followed by, "you've only got one ball?" That would kill the mood wouldn't it?
January 18th, 2010 at 9:26 PM ^
You've got a real purttty mouth (Deliverence)
Also,
"I JUST SHOT MARVIN IN THE FACE" (Pulp Fiction)
Also 2,
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THE BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK!" (There's Something About Mary)
(Video obviously NSFW)
January 19th, 2010 at 12:14 AM ^
I'm sorry, but that's really not funny at all.
And goddammit, now I remember that responding to your comment prevents you from editing it.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:29 PM ^
"And boom goes the dynamite"
--(I guess it is a youtube video, so you could liberally construe it as a movie line)
"Okay. Hey, a couple of us guys were wonderin', uh if we'd go family-style on her. " -- Idiocracy
"It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again"
--Silence of the Lamb
January 18th, 2010 at 9:41 PM ^
"Is it in yet?" - Ocean's 13
Something you don't want to hear after:
"She was such a slut, her crabs had herpes" - Dane Cook
January 18th, 2010 at 9:45 PM ^
"Pay that man his money, he beat me" Rounders
January 18th, 2010 at 9:55 PM ^
"Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle!"
-Full Metal Jacket
"Time to die"
-Bladerunner
"Surrender Dorothy"
-The Wizard of Oz
EDIT: "That'll do pig, that'll do."
-Babe
January 18th, 2010 at 10:11 PM ^
"Wait till they get a load of me" - Joker (Jack Nicholson in Batman)
January 18th, 2010 at 10:13 PM ^
"Don't you want to feel that cozy little box grip down on your johnson?"
It doesn't sound that bad, but a few days after I saw Sideways my girl said that to me while fooling around. I started laughing for like 5 minutes because I was thinking of all the funny parts of that movie.
So it kind of ruined the moment.
January 18th, 2010 at 10:30 PM ^
joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
have you ever been in a turkish prison?
January 18th, 2010 at 10:31 PM ^
"We're gonna need a bigger boat."
January 18th, 2010 at 10:31 PM ^
"QUESO! I need queso!"
January 18th, 2010 at 10:35 PM ^
That might be a possibility. *cringes*
January 18th, 2010 at 10:35 PM ^
You scruffy looking nerf herder!
January 18th, 2010 at 10:37 PM ^
Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?
Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.
- Raiders of the Lost Ark
January 18th, 2010 at 10:40 PM ^
Anything McLovin says while he's having sex in Superbad.
"Oh my God its in. Its in!"
January 18th, 2010 at 10:49 PM ^
ITS NOT A TUMOR!! (said in Arnold voice) - kindergarten cop
January 18th, 2010 at 10:55 PM ^
You want the impossible. Luke Skywalker
Well, any f#@king time, sweetheart. Full Metal Jacket
If you can drink goat p!ss, you can f#$king drink
anything. Beerfest
I've run into a few limpdicks. Heartbreak Ridge
This doesn't mean we're going to take
long showers together. Heartbreak Ridge.
Bill Paxton - Have you ever been mistaken for a
man?
Female Marine- No, have you? Aliens