OT: Movie Lines (One Should Never Use in Bed)

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January 18th, 2010 at 9:53 PM
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DoctorDave
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OT: Movie Lines (One Should Never Use in Bed)

At the risk of precipitating a full-scale meltdown of this site, the franchise must continue while there’s still dippity in the hippity. What we need are the movie lines which one absolutely does NOT want to say (or hear!) when, ehhh...the blood has begin to race, the sleeping bud has burst into bloom, and rich desire has unlocked it’s door:

1. Houston, we have a problem. (Apollo 13)
2. What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? (Kingpin)
3. You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. (Elizabethtown)
4. Riddle me this and riddle me that? Who’s afraid of the big bad bat? (Batman Returns)
5. You get your ass out there and you find that f----n’ dog! (Billy Madison)
6. I got these small hands. I got a little girl’s hands. (Raging Bull)
7. They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity. (The Incredibles)
8. Judge me by my size, you do. Do not. (The Empire Strikes Back)
9. I hate it when it does that. (Top Gun)
10. I’m gonna make you squeal like a pig, boy! (Deliverance)

Bonus (badness with extra cheese):

11. I am your father. (The Empire Strikes Back)

Whenever I think "majestic soul-funk," I think Michigan Football.

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January 18th, 2010 at 10:01 PM | "Say hello to my little (Score:1)
PIJER
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Joined: 07/12/2009
MGoPoints: 330

"Say hello to my little friend" (Scarface)

"Homey don't play dat"

January 18th, 2010 at 10:04 PM | "Come with me if you want to (Score:1)
bdubya
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Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 32

"Come with me if you want to live." (Terminator 2)

January 18th, 2010 at 11:40 PM | Another one from T2 (Score:1)
michimoby
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Joined: 04/13/2009
MGoPoints: 4288

"I know now why you cry."

--------------------------------------------

"I cannot think of a better person to guide our university's athletic strategy than the inventor of The Noid."

January 18th, 2010 at 10:02 PM | Pfffffttt...Sorry... (Score:1)
VAWolverine
Joined: 11/06/2008
MGoPoints: 1783

I farted.

Fat Bastard

January 18th, 2010 at 10:03 PM | Haha, good thread... (Score:1)
RioThaN
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Joined: 09/28/2009
MGoPoints: 625

It's ironic that the first time in my life that I feel remotely affectionate for her, is when she's dead.

(igby goes down)

"I can pick leaves of tree in the backyard."

 

-Tom Strobel

January 18th, 2010 at 10:05 PM | After you finish (Score:1)
BrayBray1
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Joined: 07/15/2009
MGoPoints: 4247

"I'll be back." (only you won't) -Terminator

What the Hell. -Jack Burton

January 18th, 2010 at 10:06 PM | "Wanna hear the most annoying (Score:1)
house of pain
Joined: 02/27/2009
MGoPoints: 220

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world"? - Dumb & Dumber.

It's better to hate to lose, than love to win.

January 18th, 2010 at 10:08 PM | Another one from D&D (Score:1)
BrayBray1
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Joined: 07/15/2009
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"I've got worms!"

What the Hell. -Jack Burton

January 18th, 2010 at 10:07 PM | I will do it with my speaw (Score:1)
I Bleed Maize N Blue
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Joined: 09/27/2008
MGoPoints: 4858

I will do it with my speaw and magic hewmet.

- Elmer Fudd, What's Opera, Doc?

Michigan Resurgent?  Michigan Resurgent!

The beatings will continue until the uniforms improve!

January 18th, 2010 at 10:08 PM | From the last thread, but it (Score:1)
CWoodson
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Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 1338

From the last thread, but it still fits: "Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

IGotARashMan

January 18th, 2010 at 10:09 PM | This one time at Band Camp (Score:1)
sec20
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Joined: 03/21/2009
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This one time at Band Camp

January 18th, 2010 at 10:11 PM | If peeing in your pants is cool... (Score:1)
creelymonk10
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Joined: 12/04/2009
MGoPoints: 505

"If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis." (Billy Madison)

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."
-John Heisman

January 18th, 2010 at 10:13 PM | Scarface (Score:1)
Tim Waymen
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Joined: 06/30/2008
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Dammit Pijer, you beat me to it!

Ann Arbor is a classy broad.

"Get off my plane!" - Ricky Stanzi, Air Force One 2

January 18th, 2010 at 10:13 PM | "It's in the hole!" - (Score:1)
I Bleed Maize N Blue
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Joined: 09/27/2008
MGoPoints: 4858

"It's in the hole!" - Caddyshack

Michigan Resurgent?  Michigan Resurgent!

The beatings will continue until the uniforms improve!

January 18th, 2010 at 10:29 PM | Caddyshack (Score:1)
DoctorDave
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Joined: 01/05/2009
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"All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers!"

"I smell varmit poontang, and the only good varmit poontang is dead varmit poontang."

Whenever I think "majestic soul-funk," I think Michigan Football.

January 18th, 2010 at 11:14 PM | More (Score:1)
e.go.blue
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Joined: 03/25/2009
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"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, you wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"

Follow me on Twitter

January 18th, 2010 at 11:57 PM | Afterwards... (Score:1)
BlueRaines
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Joined: 12/10/2009
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I feel like 100 dollars.

Go Baby Go

January 18th, 2010 at 10:14 PM | Predator (Score:1)
Tim Waymen
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1334

You're one ugly motherfucker.

Ann Arbor is a classy broad.

"Get off my plane!" - Ricky Stanzi, Air Force One 2

January 18th, 2010 at 10:15 PM | Predator (Score:1)
BrayBray1
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Joined: 07/15/2009
MGoPoints: 4247

Your pussy's as big as a house!
Your pussy's as big as a house!

What the Hell. -Jack Burton

January 18th, 2010 at 11:20 PM | "why did you say it twice?" (Score:1)
Crime Reporter
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Joined: 12/19/2008
MGoPoints: 8047

Haha.

Along those lines, here's one from Predator that even Jesse Ventura would not dare utter in bed:

"Come on in you fuckers. Ol' Painless is waiting."

Christ in me arise and dispel all the darkness.

January 19th, 2010 at 7:05 PM | Nope (Score:1)
TIMMMAAY
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Joined: 09/08/2008
MGoPoints: 5951

"Jeez you got a big pussy"
"Jeez you got a big pussy"
"why did you say it twice"
"I didn't, it's cuz of the echo"

not just "douchey" MGoBlog user, but now TRUSTED MGoBlog user

January 18th, 2010 at 10:14 PM | Two from Liar Liar: "I've had (Score:1)
jg2112
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Joined: 11/25/2008
MGoPoints: 5837

Two from Liar Liar:

"I've had better"

and

"You've got bad breath caused by gingivitis."

January 18th, 2010 at 10:16 PM | haha (Score:1)
amphibious1
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Joined: 09/02/2009
MGoPoints: 2134

Oh no you did not shoot that green shit at me!!! (Independence Day)
"Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles" (Knocked Up)

Florida Wolverines have dreadlocks...

January 18th, 2010 at 10:25 PM | Another ID4 (Score:1)
GoBlueYork
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Joined: 06/30/2009
MGoPoints: 588

Another ID4 quote:

"Gentlemen, LETS PLOW THE ROAD"

January 18th, 2010 at 10:16 PM | Get this...... (Score:1)
Bosch
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Joined: 04/03/2009
MGoPoints: 4277

"Get this big walking carpet out of my way." -Leia

All right Lemmings. Bring the heat.

January 18th, 2010 at 10:35 PM | I've got a bad feeling about (Score:1)
I Bleed Maize N Blue
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Joined: 09/27/2008
MGoPoints: 4858

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Michigan Resurgent?  Michigan Resurgent!

The beatings will continue until the uniforms improve!

January 18th, 2010 at 10:18 PM | Anything army of darkness (Score:1)
Nantucket Blue
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Joined: 10/17/2009
MGoPoints: 559

(Sheila) "You found me attractive once."
(Ash) "Honey, you got real ugly."
--------------
(Ash - opening narrative) "But that didn't stop it. It came back big time. For God's sake, how do you stop it?"
--------------
(Ash) "This is my boomstick!" (I've used that one with the wife before)

(Ash) "Yo she-bitch, let's go"

"Come get some"

and many more...

I want to be the man Fred Jackson says I am

January 18th, 2010 at 10:18 PM | "Oh, those girls are ten a (Score:1)
RedGreene
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Joined: 07/02/2009
MGoPoints: 1309

"Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - a wonderful personality!"

(Black Widow Spider - Corpse Bride)

"Gives wax off a whole new meaning."

(Funny Balls of Fury)

"I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School."

(40 Year Old Virgin)

Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back.

January 18th, 2010 at 10:20 PM | I would freak out if I heard this! (Score:1)
PIJER
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Joined: 07/12/2009
MGoPoints: 330

"I see dead People" Sixth Sense

"Homey don't play dat"

January 18th, 2010 at 10:21 PM | "I thought you would be bigger" (Score:1)
Newport Wolverine
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Joined: 02/03/2009
MGoPoints: 2

Roadhouse

"True loyalty is that quality of service that grows under adversity and expands in defeat..." Fielding Yost

January 18th, 2010 at 10:21 PM | Weird thread, but +1 for the (Score:1)
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
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Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 11819

Weird thread, but +1 for the Phantom reference. Let's see....

"What the hell's gotten into you? My thing got stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants."

"Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."

Tommy Boy - a movie quote gold mine if ever there was one.

"We've beaten Michigan the last four years.  So where's the threat?"

- Mark Dantonio

Blogging the Virginia Cavaliers at http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/<

January 19th, 2010 at 12:23 AM | I figured that I was the only (Score:1)
Sambojangles
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Joined: 12/15/2008
MGoPoints: 1318

I figured that I was the only one who caught the quotes from Phantom. I underestimated the knowledge of the MGoBoard.

It may already be posted, and sorry for not checking if it was:

"Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn." --Gone With the Wind

"The trouble with quotes on the internet, is that it is often difficult to discern whether or not they are genuine" --Abraham Lincoln

@Sambojangles

January 18th, 2010 at 10:21 PM | Friday Night Lights (Score:1)
maizenblue92
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Joined: 01/01/2009
MGoPoints: 3669

"Hold on to the damn ball!" -Friday Night Lights. This would soon be followed by, "you've only got one ball?" That would kill the mood wouldn't it?

"I tried to but a pencil in the light socket but it was too wide and didn't fit so I used a paperclip."-Terrelle Pryor, Future Rhodes Scholar

January 18th, 2010 at 10:26 PM | ... (Score:1)
bouje
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Joined: 09/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4708

You've got a real purttty mouth (Deliverence)

Also,
"I JUST SHOT MARVIN IN THE FACE" (Pulp Fiction)

Also 2,
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THE BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK!" (There's Something About Mary)

(Video obviously NSFW)

"A house divided against itself cannot stand"

January 19th, 2010 at 1:14 AM | I'm sorry, but that's really (Score:1)
Tim Waymen
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1334

I'm sorry, but that's really not funny at all.

And goddammit, now I remember that responding to your comment prevents you from editing it.

Ann Arbor is a classy broad.

"Get off my plane!" - Ricky Stanzi, Air Force One 2

January 18th, 2010 at 10:29 PM | "And boom goes the (Score:1)
bronxblue
Joined: 11/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12589

"And boom goes the dynamite"
--(I guess it is a youtube video, so you could liberally construe it as a movie line)

"Okay. Hey, a couple of us guys were wonderin', uh if we'd go family-style on her. " -- Idiocracy

"It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again"
--Silence of the Lamb

January 18th, 2010 at 10:41 PM | More (Score:1)
umjgheitma
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Joined: 12/02/2008
MGoPoints: 1382

"Is it in yet?" - Ocean's 13

Something you don't want to hear after:

"She was such a slut, her crabs had herpes" - Dane Cook

Has the whole world gone CRAZY!?!

January 18th, 2010 at 10:45 PM | From Rounders.... (Score:1)
KevinUofM
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Joined: 01/09/2010
MGoPoints: 4

"Pay that man his money, he beat me" Rounders

January 18th, 2010 at 10:55 PM | "Get the fuck off of my (Score:1)
KBLOW
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4052

"Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle!"
-Full Metal Jacket

"Time to die"
-Bladerunner

"Surrender Dorothy"
-The Wizard of Oz

EDIT: "That'll do pig, that'll do."
-Babe

There are no corners in space.

January 18th, 2010 at 11:11 PM | "Wait till they get a load of (Score:1)
willywill9
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Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 11256

"Wait till they get a load of me" - Joker (Jack Nicholson in Batman)

Touchdown Michigan!

January 18th, 2010 at 11:13 PM | "Don't you want to feel that (Score:1)
Jeff
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1262

"Don't you want to feel that cozy little box grip down on your johnson?"

It doesn't sound that bad, but a few days after I saw Sideways my girl said that to me while fooling around. I started laughing for like 5 minutes because I was thinking of all the funny parts of that movie.

So it kind of ruined the moment.

2012 Pick Six Standings | 2011 Pick Six Standings | Twitter

January 18th, 2010 at 11:30 PM | joey, have you ever seen a (Score:1)
TrppWlbrnID
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Joined: 10/29/2009
MGoPoints: 7889

joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

have you ever been in a turkish prison?

2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
January 18th, 2010 at 11:31 PM | Jaws (Score:1)
entirely reasonable
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Joined: 07/24/2008
MGoPoints: 2515

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Play hard and with great effort"

January 18th, 2010 at 11:31 PM | maybe it's not from a movie.. (Score:1)
octal9
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Joined: 11/11/2008
MGoPoints: 5717

"QUESO! I need queso!"

January 18th, 2010 at 11:35 PM | Depending on your partner's hygene (Score:1)
BrayBray1
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Joined: 07/15/2009
MGoPoints: 4247

That might be a possibility. *cringes*

What the Hell. -Jack Burton

January 18th, 2010 at 11:37 PM | Snakes. Why'd it have to be (Score:1)
I Bleed Maize N Blue
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Joined: 09/27/2008
MGoPoints: 4858

Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?

Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.

- Raiders of the Lost Ark

Michigan Resurgent?  Michigan Resurgent!

The beatings will continue until the uniforms improve!

January 18th, 2010 at 11:40 PM | Anything (Score:1)
Tshimanga Cowabunga
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Joined: 08/09/2009
MGoPoints: 818

Anything McLovin says while he's having sex in Superbad.

"Oh my God its in. Its in!"

January 18th, 2010 at 11:49 PM | ITS NOT A TUMOR!! (said in (Score:1)
mgokev
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Joined: 06/17/2009
MGoPoints: 6996

ITS NOT A TUMOR!! (said in Arnold voice) - kindergarten cop

GO BLUE

January 18th, 2010 at 11:55 PM | You want the impossible. Luke (Score:1)
imablue
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Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 392

You want the impossible. Luke Skywalker

Well, any f#@king time, sweetheart. Full Metal Jacket

If you can drink goat p!ss, you can f#$king drink
anything. Beerfest

I've run into a few limpdicks. Heartbreak Ridge

This doesn't mean we're going to take
long showers together. Heartbreak Ridge.

Bill Paxton - Have you ever been mistaken for a
man?
Female Marine- No, have you? Aliens

I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

January 19th, 2010 at 12:02 AM | The Hangover (Score:1)
timhoops
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Joined: 12/06/2009
MGoPoints: 240

"He's jackin' his little weenus!"

"Suck on these little Chinese nuts."

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