OT- More awesome World Cup excuses by North Korea
This is too funny not to share. A fellow MGoBlogger previously posted the excuse that the North Koreans didn't advance because several players were struck by lightning, but now that FIVE of the North Korean women have tested positive for steriods at the World Cup, we have a pure gold excuse...
FIFA has already met with a North Korean delegation and heard arguments that the steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines based on musk deer glands to treat players who had been struck by lightning on June 8 during a training camp in North Korea.
The gland in question comes from musk deer living in a large swathe of Asia from Siberia to North Korea. The hairy 4-centimeter gland is usually cut open to extract a liquid that is used for medical purposes.
Even if that is sort of true, I find it hilarious.
Anyway, I'm excited for tomorrow. GO GO USA!
Oh North Korea...
The suspended players have been promptly executed -KJI /s
What's sad is, that actually isn't out of the realm of possibility.
Tough to feel sorry for NK players who get to consume a decent diet, unlike the vast majority of slaves there.
OT: it would be cool to ban ESPN links here until Bruce Feldman is freed.
Mea maxima culpa; it appears Feldman has indeed been freed. Free at last, free at last, Lord Almighty free at last!
Not really. I'm sure some pretty gruesome things happen to them if they don't perform well. There's a detailed history of this sort of stuff going on with the Iraqi national team (not just in soccer). In that context, it is easy to feel for them, at least in my book.
Their medicine can't be that trivial. Please explain to me how drinking the liquid from a deer's glands helps heal being struck by lightning. This sounds like an episode of House.
The deer was named Glorious Leader Kim Il-Sung, for when it was born on a mountaintop, a double rainbow appeared over the earth and a swallow alit on a nearby tree branch and sang hymns of self-reliance, just as was the case for our Glorious Leader. That is why it heals imperialist lightning strikes.
I was stationed in Korea, and that really isn't far off from some of the propaganda we saw there.
That regime + the culture of victimization that seems to pervade soccer = ridiculous bullshit like this.
Beer nuts are $1.50, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Also, deer nuts cure electrocution.
So Kim has workers rub down N Korean deer with the clear?
The N. Korean trainer is named Kim Tressel....
Can I use that at work? "Sorry, I can't come in today because I was struck by lightning and needed to find some musk deer glands...."
I think work wouldn't mind only because they would just assume that meant that I was so pissed I could cut the nuts off someone/something....
ignore