High school football. Good times.
OT. mean things coaches have said to you
I played defense for my entire soccer career. Then in my junior year of high school the coach puts me in on offense near the end of a tie game.
I ended up scoring the game winning goal, my first goal in high school.
His response (in his british accent):
"You-you're awkward, but you get the job done."
used to always tell us we blocked like old ladies in high heels or we couldn't block old ladies in high heels.
Basketball coach told me I had "hands of stone". He also was the one who voted me for the "Whitehouse Award" for the strong effort in boys athletics. I wasn't the most gifted athlete, but I worked harder than most. (See Kurt Rambis).
pretty common saying, but i had a receiver on my team who had all the physical skills (he was like 6'3, pretty strong and pretty fast) but he couldn't "catch a cold if he was naked in January"
My high school soccer coach that once wanted to skip practice to try out for American Gladiators: "Hannon, you f*ing prima donna. When you decide it is time to play the game as a team, I'll put your a** back in." I went on to score the winning goal; he went on to continue coaching like Nitro.
The cartoons reminded me of the RCMB.
I was the best. Coach knows better than to bad talk star player.
My freshman year on the varsity hockey team... I asked what I could do to get more playing time.
The response was a lot of hemming and hawing that basically meant "we think you're a lost cause."
I didn't play football, and I must have been lucky, because I didn't ever have a single coach that ever said anything really nasty to me. It's not like I never got yelled at, but nothing I didn't deserve. Other than "you didn't make the team." That kinda sucked. But there's not much opportunity to yell at a swimmer.
So I'll tell the story about the ass-chewing I caused someone else when I was ten. I was playing third base, a kid slid in safely to third after a hit from the outfield, but kids never remember to stay on the base after a slide, and I held the ball on his shoulder and the ump called him out when he got off the bag. The coach went absolutely apeshit and dropped more f-bombs than I'd ever heard in my life. At the kid, not the ump. Like, frothing at the mouth, still screaming as the next batter stepped up to the plate, veins popping, etc. I felt pretty bad, but not bad enough to not try the trick again later on, at which point the coach informed his player in equal volume to call timeout.
My favorite was during a freshman soccer game. My coach screamed at me "What color jersey you wearing?!" I stopped cold and pulled my jersey up to my eyes to see the color. I didn't play the rest of the game...