OT. mean things coaches have said to you

said, "You're too short and too slow, you'll never play professional football no matter how smart you are or how much heart you have. Don't believe that 'Rudy' shit." the truth hurts.

"kid you better develop a strong back," I asked why and he said " Because ditch diggers need a strong back." and something about "A beached whale starts to stink after a while, ya know what I mean". He was a dick to me while I was in high school. Come to think of it, my dad used to tell me that I "didn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain."

One of my fellow coaches got in trouble (not fired, but had a meeting with administrators) for saying the following: "This isn't a nightmare. Your mommy's not going to wake you up and tell you everything's okay. This is football. You're gonna get hit." Parents are so overprotective and there's too much of the mentality that "Everyone's a winner" these days. It's harder to get away with negative comments, even as basic cable TV shows have deteriorated to the point where you can see dead bodies and hear cuss words. These kids hear worse things on after-school specials than they hear from the coaches, yet if a coach says anything negative, these parents think their son's world is coming to an end.

told me i have dreamy eyes.

I was one of the many freshman kids who decided to play football for the Plymouth-Canton Chiefs in 1993. The coaches were so terrible and made every single player feel so worthless that the team ended up with 12 total players. 11 guys played iron man football while the worst player just rode the bench every game. These coaches were the most useless, demeaning human beings I've ever met and many of my friends agreed. They used every F-bomb and never once did a word of positive enforcement come out of their mouths. At the time I was slotted as the starting left tackle. Being a 6'1" 130 lb sprinter, apparently I was perfect for the position. Knowing what I know now about left tackles and that this is one of the most important positions on the field makes their decision to put me there all the more ridiculous. So, in the end, the team went on to lose every game and yet the coaches were promoted to coach JV the next year. So, here's to you 1993 PC freshman football coaches: "Fuck you, you pathetic pieces of shit!"

To a teammate who just avoided a block: "Here." Coach pulls out some gauze pad from the med kit. "Put this on your vagina so it doesn't bleed all over your white practice pants."

In 8th grade, I missed a couple extra points in a game that we later ended up winning anyway. My coach said, "you're over there kicking fucking 35 yard field goals in pregame and you can't even make an extra point!" Devastating to a kicker. my freshman year of football I didn't hear the coach yell out "punt team" and I was the punter (I obviously wasn't paying attention--our team sucked and I didn't like the coaches). I realized everyone was lined up for the punt (even though I wasn't even in the damned huddle so I am to this day baffled that the team didn't notice) and sprinted out on the field at the last second, stopped on "set", caught the ball, and booted it. I ran back to the sideline and my reserved coach (the "fun" old guy) grabbed me by the facemask with two hands and said in a would-be-screaming-but-trying-to-be-quiet voice, "Is there any reason why I shouldn't kill you right now?" That was awesome. (This almost happened again later in the year.) -After accidentally catching a teammates elbow to the nose in a ruck and hearing a crunch plus heavy bleeding during a rugby match in 12th grade- Coach, pouring water on my bloody broken nose: "That's fucked up." Me, frantic: "Really? Is it broken?" Coach: "Nah, I'm just kidding. It's fine. We don't have any more fly-halves so you're gonna have to play through it. Wipe the blood on your sleeves and don't be a pussy, Quist." Needless to say I played like a total puss the rest of the game/year.

Our coach would go on and on about the need to be well-conditioned. This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he weren't Charlie Weis-sized himself. He'd go on: "How are you going to play if you're not in shape? You wanna look like me?"