OT - Letting Down Pyramid Schemers

"Good luck.  Thanks but no thanks."

Don't want to make it complicated and if you have a working relationship with him, it would probably be better not to preach to him about it either.

I've done this a few times.  I typically say:

"Thank you very much for taking the time to talk to me about this.  It sounds interesting, but I don't think I have the time to promote this idea to my family and friends, and I don't like to start new things like this without giving it 100% of my time and effort.  I appreciate your time and I will keep it in mind for the future."  

You could also say you've tried similar things in the past and had a hard time making it beneficial for you, but then you leave him a window to say how his program is different than others you might have tried before.

I now have 2 cents less in my pocket than 3 minutes ago.

"Sorry. I'm not interested in amazing revenue generating opportunities at this time...."

just tell him you've made some risky financial investments in savings accounts and savings bonds and you're not sure if you can afford to make another move at this point.

Since most of these "sales" organizations have pre-scripted presentations designed specifically to overcome your objections you need to be especially firm from the beginning.  Let them know that you are supportive of thier efforts but it just isn't for you.  These groups, especially Amway and their offshoots, really pit their recruits against anyone outside of their group that they would label a "dream stealer" or something similar.  So my best advice is to be supportive and don't bash or joke about what your friend or coworker is getting into.  Unfortunately, they will find out soon enough.

Wait a second - Amway is a scam???  All those wasted hours for nothing!

Ammmmmmmmmmmmwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

"I was introduced to this business model before. I gave it serious thought, but ultimately I just wasn't passionate about it. And I still feel that way. The proper thing to do is to pass."

Douchy alternative: "Sorry...I'm not interested in an opportunity to alienate my friends, family and co-workers at this time..."

I never had the balls to say the second one.

all you have "are these damn Nepalese coins."

This has happened to me three times.  I politely declined after considering, but gave in the fourth time AND NOW I'M A MILLIONARE!!!!!!!!!!

Tell him you had sex with his wife.

No really, couldn't you tell him some B.S. about being into somthing else at the moment and have all your free money tied up?

Or just tell him you do not mix business with friends, never works.

http://destroyamway.blogspot.com/2010/01/dateline-nbc-investigation-of-amway.html

I know you said it is NOT Amway, but he may see enough similarities to figure out he was caught up in a joke and was just paying these "motivators" loot.

Also do not buy a Kirby or Rainbow Vacuum and dont join any "membership" clubs that offer you 40% less on furniture, etc.

That is all.

Find a cease and desist order from the web.  I had a co-worker try to sell me on something called People in Profit that promised a 2% per day return--obviously a scam. 

After doing a little math and realizing I'd be the richest person in the world in a couple of years based on a $3000 investment, I found a cease and desist order from Texas barring the group for marketing their investment.  That shut him up--although he still somehow believed that he'd get his money back...

Simple, agree to do it.  But first tell him that all your money is in a Nigerian bank and you need his help to get the money out

Send him a link to the FreekBass video and know that he will be so dumb afterwards that he will forget that he asked you to the meeting.

Sounds like Arbonne! terrible...

got all your money tied up at moment forwarding emails about Bill Gates' fortune being divvied up and once your collect from that you'll be happy to invest in his business.

that you have to go return some video tapes. 

This is your hard-earned money you are talking about.  You spent years or decades building it up.  Someone is asking you to put it at risk to further their own interests in a scam.  Friend, family or whatever--what's wrong with being firm and blunt about saying no?  Most people are smart enough to know that there are no sure-fire magic bullet investments.  My intelligence would be insulted if someone tried to get me to invest in this crap.

Why are people advocating polite, tip-toeing responses to "keep them in mind" and such-why can't you just say "no, and I don't think this is a legitimate enterprise?"  I'm normally not a jerk but come on.  Do these people carry baseball bats or something?  Am I missing something?

Just be honest.

My brother tried to do this to me several years ago.  I was very direct.  I told him that I didn't believe the program would work for me.  I wished him luck and asked to not promote it to me again.

He said that I would join him eventually.  He said that when he was driving a brand new Mercedes that I would beg to join him.  I told him I'd consider it after he was driving a new Mercedes.

He stuck with the program for about three months and never got his Mercedes.

I have two options for you

1. Tell him that there is no money in pyramid schemes unless you are at the top. So offer to start up a Pyramid scheme with him and have him give you his money.

2. Tell him that your money is currently tied up with the Nigerian Prince. Once he dispurses you the money he promised, you will be more than willing to join his scheme.

you don't have any friends or family, then look down, hands in pockets, while brushing away pebbles on the ground with your foot.

Tell him that because of your Uncle Bernie the feds have been up your ass for over a year now and you don't want  to burden him with the constant surveilence and frozen assets that come along with being your business partner.

He'll appreciate that you are looking out for him.

Politely decline.  Don't worry about alienating him.  Decline in a matter that makes it clear that you'll pretend it didn't happen when he decides to quit.

Tell him you spend all your free time playing WOW and don't have any patience for him unless he has a lvl 80 pally tank that can take down the lich king and he helps you get some phat lootz.

that you're talking about as the product then... it was put together by one of the former amway higher ups... my sister in law got caught in it... she called me one day out of the blue and asked if we could meet up (we're not close and its not because of hate, but more like a choice on my part)... i asked why and the first words out her mouth was a "business opertunity dealing with energy drinks" for you... as soon as she finshed i said "no thanks"... she tried to finish and told her right out that it was pyramid scheme, and that here uncle told me about it at x-mas time... i tried to explain it to her and she didn't get it, so i left it alone... now everytime i got over to my in-laws she is there trying to get me to take some because she bought 3 cases up front and no one would buy it...

... "thanks, but I don't want to sell soap* in my spare time to relatives." _______________________________________________________

*or vitamins, noni juice, space food sticks, face cream, mobile phone service, web hosting, legal services, blah, blah, blah...

By someone with one of these "surefire, can't miss" schemes? I had a colleague who was in a pyramid scheme selling ... wait for it ... golf carts. I was like, "What the f--k?"

The worst, though, was sitting next to a guy on a plane a few years ago. He'd been in a class or two with me at U-M. I started chatting with him about how things were going since we'd graduated and he launched into his spiel. It was the longest flight to California I've ever taken. It gave new meaning to the term, "Captive Audience."

Seriously. No one ever gets to talk sh*t about any of you.

You TIPTOE around Amway people? Good god. Do you run half-way houses for wayward spiders as well?

I had one those Quixstar morons try and sell me crap while I'm filling my car with gas. I told the guy I didn't want to buy any of his products, could he please p*** off?

No, no, no...I didn't understand. He wanted me to SELL this worthless crap!

"Dude, I'm already getting f*cked right now by $3.00 gas. But you could wait to shove your ***k in my mouth, could you?"

Perhaps I was too graphic?

"The worst, though, was sitting next to a guy on a plane a few years ago."

A co-worker of mine was at the hospital watching his first kid be born. After the birth, he steps out to call a relative and let them know everything went well. A guy approached him, congratulated him...and then started the spiel.

Would it have even been a crime to have killed the Amway huckster right then and there?

I have a cousin who lives in Columbus, fairly near me, and is one of the reasons I was willing to move to Columbus in the first place. 

His in-laws are hugely into Quixtar. My cousin's wife, and subsequently, my cousin as well. It was pitched to us, and my wife joined. When Quixtar pissed off Amway and Amway started advertising again, we left Quixtar, happily as far as I was concerned.

Every time I see my cousin's in-laws, I tell them...

I'm not a salesperson. If I were, I would be in sales. I'm not. I'm a nurse anesthetist. I make enough without  trying to sell shit to my friends and family. I don't want to work on weekends. I don't want to go places and listen to people trying to sell me shit in other cities. I don't care to work more than I do now. I'm not joining. 

It doesn't work. The guy just keeps at it. I'm to the point of being more than ready to be rude about it. 

Some time ago when I was drawing unemployment, I got cold-called by some guy from Ameriprise Financial.  He told me that my name had been referred to him by an associate.  What he wanted was for me to come down to his office for an "interview."  He thought I would make a great financial officer for Ameriprise. 

Seeing as how I was unemployed, I thought this was an opportunity worth looking into.  I agreed to an interview on a Friday.  

It occurred to me to research Ameriprise Financial.  I wanted to know as much about them as I could.  That way I would come off looking sharp in my interview.  I went to Google and started typing Ameriprise Financial.  Before I even finished typing, Google filled in the most popular searches.  The first one was "Ameriprise Financial scam."

I quickly found out it was a crock.  My "interview" was going to be in a room with about 10 other people.  And it would not really be an interview so much as a presentation.  It was a pyramid scheme similar to Amway.  Only instead of soap, these guys were selling financial stocks, annuities, life insurance, and what-not.

I decided I had better call and cancel my appointment.  I surely did not want this guy to keep calling me.  So I resolved to tell him firmly "Thanks, but no thanks"  I figured a firm and direct "No" would be enough.  So I dialed the number.  When he answered I was as nice and polite as I could be.  I told him who I was and that I had agreed to an interview on Friday.  I then thanked him for considering me but told him that "I would have to cancel my appointment."  I figured he would ask why, and he did.  In my head I thought I would say "Because I am looking at going in another direction" and he would say something like "well thats to bad.  Best of luck to you"   He would hang up and we would all move on.  Well, of course that is not what happened.  These guys never give up.  They can't take no for an answer. 

So here is how the conversation actually went:

Me:  Thank you for your consideration but I will have to cancel my appointment.

Slick:  Would you like to reschedule an appointment at another time?

Me:  No thank you

Slick:  Why not?

Me:  I'm planning on going in a different direction.

Slick:  And what direction is that?

Me: *pause for a single beat*  The opposite direction.

Slick:  *obviously dumbfounded*   the opposite direction?

Me:  umm yeah,  thanks but no thanks.  Have a nice day.

Slick:  ooooo k

It made me laugh because I had not planned on being sarcastic but he drew it out of me.

Look him in the eyes and smile.

Ask him if he has accepted Jesus Christ as his savior.  Ask if he has a personal relationship with God.  Ask if he has ever felt the Holy Ghost within him.

Invite him to church with you but ask him if he is scared of snakes.  If he asks what day, tell him you go to church every night because you have been reborn, and you want the same for him.  Tell him that he needs to go before the congregation and confess ALL of his sins.  (There will be a LOT of them, assure him of it)

Open up the Bible and ask him to read a few passages.  Ask him how those apply to a sinner.

Get it all on film.  Put it on You Tube.