You can't make this stuff up.
no wonder we hired Hunter Lochmann
You can't make this stuff up.
Never in a million years would I wake up after that and not take my own life.
So... that happened.
The bad news is that his dog wasn't an approved network provider, so his insurance won't pick up the tab.
Man's best friend. Even when he's passed out piss drunk with a gross toe and high blood sugar, very impressive.
This happened in Rockford
What's wrong with Rockford? Now, I wouldn't be shocked if this happened in Cedar Springs or something but I am really shocked it happened in Rockford.
The Greater Grand Rapids and outlying areas
I wasn't aware we were hated like that...? Oh I forgot, all the other outlying areas of Grand Rapids have much nicer downtown areas and aren't mostly comprised of suburban housing developments. We'll try to upgrade our standards. I mean, "Forest Hills" isn't even an actual town, but we'll get right on that.
Disclaimer: I'm not really mad. I appreciate a majority of your posts/comments. Also I kind of hate my hometown for other reasons.
i would assume the majority of Rockford scorn is derived from athletic success. it just seems that if all the schools in the greater gr area (including burbs like you mentioned) had to name one school to 'ugh' about, it's Rockford. the people aren't particularly one way or another, it's just an odd reality. i grew up in OK Red country so i can note that watching Rockford show up on homecoming and kick the crap out of our team was a tradition.
I admit, I loved watching our football team when I was in high school. That was a good tradition for us as well (except Hudsonville's homecomings... those were always a heartbreak). The sports I played were not so dominant in the area (Hockey, maybe. Lacrosse, not at all).
From an outsider's perspective, though, I could see how Rockford might be pretty easy to hate. For me, though, it was always EGR, then Forest Hills. And from a non-athletic standpoint, where I was at most of the time anyway, our academics were pretty great, just like all the major schools around. I think it's easy to see that greater GR has the public school thing figured out, whereas the east side of the state relies heavily on private schools. Not that it's perfect, since public education in the whole country is debatably pretty bad, but at least we have some things figured out.
I'm a recent high school graduate from GR (Forest Hills) and I would say that the one school I truly hate is East Grand Rapids. The athletes at East are so cocky and self-absorbed it pisses me off
it's like saying people in Europe are worried someone will kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter in real life
it didn't happen in Ohio.
It wouldn't have been newsworthy. They call this kind of thing "Tuesday."
that people are often dumber than animals.
"...Douthett, 48, who is a musician and a well-known wheeler-dealer in Rockford..."
He wheeled a deal just last week in my pappy's shop.
No but really, I have never heard of this dude. That's just how Rademacher writes. Gotta look past the camp and the cheese
Native Americans have known for centuries that dogs have the ability to sniff out diseases and ailments. They are VERY intelligent creatures that rarely get the credit they deserve.
if you ate poop and constantly chased part of your own body, we would probably think you were a little slow too.
I have never wanted to laugh and vomit at the exact same time. Interesting feeling.
That poor dog.
They do eat their own poop and drink from the toilet, after all. That Jack Russell has probably had a worse meal.
"Rosee suspected her husband was a diabetes candidate and urged him many times to be checked. He resisted, however, fearing the diagnosis. His brother died some years back from complications of diabetes."
Because if you aren't diagnosed, diabetes can't kill you
I think we can readily establish that this man did not win a Rhodes scholarship.
"Hey, I'll cut into my toe with this obviously not sanitized knife to remove this sliver. Then, when it swells up and smells, I'm going to hide it from everyone, because if I ignore it then it'll obviously go away. Medical attention? Ha!"
Every Korean's worst nightmare.
(I kid, I kid)
My my my, how the tables have turned!
Dog eat you.
Beating a dead horse, I know, but if the dog had been from UM, the freep headline would read: "Dog's attempt to devour owner foiled by diabetic toe!"
"Dog Amputates Owner's Toe, After UM Coaching Staff Lets Situation Fester"
"Big Toe declared ineligible at U-M, transfers to Jack Russell"
lets not jump to any conclusions. That big toe has two more weeks of summer school left before his final grades come out. I know, it's corny. But did I nail it? No? Oh, pashaw....
"Somebody get that dog a mint!"
1). The Jack Russel is smarter than Douthett
2). The Jack Russel is smarter than the entire city of Rockford
3). The Jack Russel has an iron stomach.
1. Good example of arguing from circumstantial evidence: "The toe was gone," said Douthett. "He ate it. I mean, he must have eaten it, because we couldn't find it anywhere else in the house. I look down, there's blood all over, and my toe is gone."
2. Love the use of the word "normal": "A normal person, even consuming that much alcohol, probably would have awakened much earlier," Lampen said.
My hometown just got a little more "pissing off the back porch in jean shorts." That's just splendid.
There is nothing wrong with jorts! All cool people wear them. I know this because I saw plenty of them at the comic book convention.
Sounds like the pooch got him out of a toe jam.