OT - I am so screwed

Submitted by Blazefire on

A mosquito, thermo-nuclear Michigan sized, just landed on my desk, next to a spilled drop of coffee, and promptly drank up the entire drop.

I now have a hyper-caffinated giant mosquito attacking my head, and I am so, so screwed. I will probably go home today in hypovolemic shock.

Blazefire

June 30th, 2010 at 10:01 AM ^

the more you try to hide it, the more obvious our secret passion becomes.

(Actually, yes, I know it's a pointless thread, but I'd never seen a mosquito drink coffee before, so feh. I will accept any negs awarded if i can give somebody a laugh.)

MGoRobo

June 30th, 2010 at 9:59 AM ^

that's pretty crazy.  I'd say get one of those racquets with electricity. They fry em up really well.  Other than that...sorry dude, that sucks.

willywill9

June 30th, 2010 at 10:12 AM ^

Anyone know of a way of a good opensource/free program that will help me scan a site for all broken link the site contains?  I found a program called "Xenu's Link Sleuth" but I'm not sure if anyone has it or tried it?  How about any other programs/software you'd recommend?

Blazefire

June 30th, 2010 at 11:56 AM ^

I learned "Hypovolemic Shock" from Blade, of course! You know, the scene at the end, where they put Wesley Snipes in that coffin that cuts his wrists crossways and it always makes me say, "That much blood won't come out! Do it right! It's down the block, not across the street! GRARRARRAH!"

It's probably not healthy that I get upset when people don't know how to properly cut their wrists, is it?

BiSB

June 30th, 2010 at 11:53 AM ^

I'm getting fired this afternoon and re-hired tomorrow morning.  Something about a paperwork screw-up for the end of the fiscal year today. So I haveto jump through all of the "you've been canned" hoops because some dipshit in HR sucks at her job.

VAWolverine

June 30th, 2010 at 12:17 PM ^

I tell all students that I teach that the last class a HR person takes for their degree is HR 666- Directed Study with Satan. In this course they learn how to lie, cheat and steal in order to cover their ass when they make the types of mistakes your living the nightmare of today.

Perhaps you can ask for a big sign on bonus?

Blazefire

June 30th, 2010 at 12:23 PM ^

Somebody in HR can't add, and accidentally reduced headcount in your department by one for the year, and it'd cost more to change it than to fire and rehire you.

Important thing: Make ABSOLUTELY positive that EVERYBODY is aware that this was an error. If somebody doesn't know it, you may find a variety of problems.

A: Your benefits may get axed for 90 days.

B: Any accrued vacation time or bonus/promotion points may be lost.

C: If you ever go for another job someday, you may not be considered when they find out you were "fired" from your last job.

D: It may hurt your chances to advance in the company if higher-ups don't know the whole story.

The FannMan

June 30th, 2010 at 12:53 PM ^

Make sure the date of hire on their records stays at what it was.  Lenght of service (even in a non-union setting) can play a role in things like: how many vacation/sick days you get each year, who gets laid-off and who stays, retirment benefits, promotions, ability to apply for other positions, etc.  Even a short period of time can make a huge difference.  For examlpe, it could make a big difference if your company adopted a policy that everybody hired after June 30, 2010 no longer gets health care coverage and doesn't get any paid vacation.