There's probably something to that. I would totally give it a try. I've ended things with two men in the past year because I didn't find them as interesting as him. But if he isn't even answering e-mails about a baseball game I don't really know what my "in" would be. #MGoJenProblems
OT: The Friday "What are you up to?" Posbang Thread
Do whatever it takes. Don't let any more time pass - the moment grows more and more stale as the days pass. He might not respond to an email or return a phone call, but he's reading and listening. Showing up at his door might be a bit too much for you (I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself) so write a letter. If there's any chance you could fall IN love, don't let that possibility pass simply because it will mean there's some work involved. You know it will be worth it in the end if things work out! I know all this sounds corny like some silly movie but, in this case, its real. DO IT!
My stomach just dropped reading this. I HAVE to do it. So what do I say? Do I tell him everything?! Like mail him a letter and tell him everything? You, sir, may have just changed my life.
Do what you feel most comfortable with. If its writing a letter, see if you can deliver it in person. You don't have to say a word - just hand him the envelope, turn around, and walk away.
Just lay it all out. Tell him he's the most important person in your life and its horrible seeing the friendship end so abruptly. Tell him that maybe you've been blind or denying it, but the time and "distance" has made you realize that he's the one for you. That nothing can be worse that what you feel right now and it made you appreciate him more and want to be with him. To give "it" a try and see what happens. Tell him that if he really wants to end the friendship and go separate ways you will respect his decision but that you want the friendship and more.
Basically, just tell him what you feel. Nothing worse can happen. If anything, you might amaze and impress yourself by putting yourself out on the limb. If the limb breaks, you'll be sad and maybe a little embarrassed but you'll feel proud and powerful! Trust me. I'm a moderator. And I know a lot of sh-t.
I'm literally crying in my office. I'm terrified. That means this is what I have to do, right?
Thank you soooooo much for everything!
PS if my life were a movie, I think this would start playing right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBULAkLKfzg
Stop crying and get to it! If this is what you want, get it in motion. It'll be much easier once the ball starts rolling than sitting and thinking about it.
More advice - type the letter first so you can edit easily. Once you have a good final draft, then handwrite it. Even better, if you have a signature perfume, spray a bit on the paper. If he really feels like all guys feel about their girl "friends" he's going to melt. After that, enjoy! The next time you see him in person will be like going on a first date. Pretty cool feeling when you're with someone you've known forever!
**Disclaimer: If this does not work, you did not get any of this advice from me. Blame it on M-W instead.
P.S. Never, ever post a Debbie Gibson video on the Board again. Use this for inspiration instead . . .
If not, she'll know.
Actually got one of those "tired with games, want something more" emails myself. And if you don't want to lose it, you respond.
Okay super girly question:
If it was "meant to be" wouldn't it not be this hard? If he cared about me wouldn't he have said something by now? When you love something this much do you fight for it or do you let it go and leave it up to the universe to handle?
Good thing this is the pos-bang thread.
Hollywood myths. All the best stuff is the hardest and takes the most work. And guys are just as chicken as girls, so if you haven't said it all out there, why would he have? If anything, that is part of the relationship women control. Another myth- that you just know it right away. Sure, there are cases it happens. But just as often it's not the fireworks that slowly fade, but the things that slowly build into something great.
Another one - It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Crap. One hurts, and the other doesn't matter at all. But the former pales into what's really true....
Of all the words of mice or men, the saddest are "It might have been"
Not knowing...or wishing you did? That's what will REALLY haunt you. For a lifetime. Rejection, pain? You get over that. What if...? That'll stick with you.
interesting to follow throughout my day. Jen, please keep us updated on what happens! I need to know now. Now go get this guy!
Agreed. Best of luck, Jen, and we want to know all about it!
I have the clarity only achieved after a few dinks and I've decided I'm not saying anything. My grandpa has been in the hospital all week. I teed calling him to update him and he didn't answer...but e sure is tweeting! Wtfever. I'm not convincing people to stay with me or be on team Jenny. I love him but I'm not leyting a guy make me feel mad about myself, that's soooo 2008!
Well, if you ever want to save yourself the effort, you could just show him this web page....
hmmm then he'd knwo that i bought him a ticket to bamabowl when i bought mien (i knew someone who knew someone and got them from the AD)--dipped into my savinags to get it for him bc he said he couldnt afford to go. oh PS thsi is while he was still withhis exgf. he has no idea. OHWELL
At this point I'm just curious how thin it will go, and how much drunken posting we can get from you. ;-)
bahaha. let's be honest, i love him. aslso for drunk posting see my twitterl. ooopsdf
I like to take advantage of young women when they're drunk.
But only on posting boards. How much have we had? (Drunk dialing was bad enough. I'm glad I didn't live in a world where drunk tweeting was possible).
Could have edited it...but this is more fun (no matter how many times you see it, a narrowing thread is still exciting. Kinda like boobs.
But anyway, your twitter is protected, so I can't see. :-( But I can take your word for it. Though looking at your posts on your profile before 8 hours ago and since 3 hours ago kinda is like seeing one of those studies on the effects of drinking. Don't drive, go home alone when you're done, and be safe tonight.
So methinks you doth protest too much. And Profit is right, at this point, is a bf-gf break up going to be any worse than this? If it's anything like most relationships, it'll give you lots of reasons to start not liking each other and making a break up easier. Things don't get real till you're laying naked next to someone.
But yeah, you may have told him that exact line, and he's not going to repeat it back. No guy I know is going to tell a woman he loves her unless he's IN love with her. And as said before, knows he's not going to freak anyone out by doing it. Guys don't "love" their girl-friends....just their girlfriends.
Continuing my advice through video (because it's funny, but it's true)-
But I didn't mean just the sex. I just meant a relationship that would include things like that. And not just all the shoulder crying and fun hang outs that never grew into a relationship that was more romantic.
Edit: I also have to agree with the competitive nature of it. There is something exciting about the chase. But I feel for the ladies too. I've been rejected far more times than I've had to reject someone (part of being a guy; partly having champagne tastes on a beer budget), but as much as it sucks to be dumped or whatever, it's far worse (for me anyway) to tell someone "yeah, I like you...but not that much." I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted.
Hey now, don't bad mouth the beer.
This might be the valium, but I your stats seem suspect.
Yup, it's the valium.
Pos-banging such a sad story.
It was a supportive bang...
How is it sad at all?! I'm getting a new bag out of it! =)
Alright, alright. I'm legit devastated that I'm being pushed away but I know my worth. I'm not gonna beg someone to be in my life, no matter how much I love him.
Making fists with my toes on the carpet. Yippee ki yay...
Waiting for the valium to kick in before having surgery.
Pepper jack, avocado, home made salsa, thick cut bacon, gorgonzola and chipotle tabasco on a pretzel bun for a costco burger. Then either an arbor espresso love or a shandy, I havent decided. Thats what I'm up to as soon as I can bust out of this rotten place.
I basically took up 30 minutes of three other co-workers time to figure out lunch plans this morning. Since we couldn't go to lunch for 52 minutes, I spent 52 minutes on some michigan sports blog because there were no other projects I could start and complete in 52 minutes.
On my lunch break right now. On the docket for the afternoon: have to finish updating a guide for our newest software version. Probably have to talk to a developer about some questions (ugh... for any of you software developers out there, do you realize that your often wonderful ideas don't often make sense in the real world?? It's ok to keep your head in the clouds, just make sure your feet are on the ground, too). Also going to shoot off the weekly update to our online documentation repository. Nice, brainless task. Take a couple hours to listen to my favorite music on Grooveshark while getting stuff done.
Then meeting some friends at a park tonight for a picnic. Should be fun.
Finally got my first neg. I'm surprised that it took so long!
Does that exclamation point mean you are a closet masochist?
No, just surprised that my detractors took so long to downvote me. No worries. This is a thankless job but I enjoy helping Brian in whatever way I'm able.
But the "I got the first one" post I negged. Just seemed like you were asking for some punishment at that point.
It's my birthday! I'm ready for my free upvotes! ... Please? Seriously though, my labmates from up the street surprised me by stopping by my office with a bunch of chocolate cheesecake & popsicles (home-made!). It was a great way to start the day, especially since all I've had for breakfast was coffee. I'm so high on caffeine & sugar right now. I don't think I've blinked in 30 minutes.
Going to a dinner party, should be interesting.....I hope!
Pool, music, BBQ and a few beers!!! GO BLUE
Taking my car to th dealer @ 2:30 wishing I wasn't chained to a computer, and yes I would believe that the mid level bank you speak about could be hard to deal with.
scratching my testicular region and thinking about lunch. Later I will go to football practice then head home and start the weekend.
Driving a 24foot moving truck from ny to Michigan today and tomorrow...finally moving back home to the D!
Got to work on our 3rd quarter projections. I have a great idea involving coupons! It better work, because I am 0 for 2012.
Leaving work in 15 minutes to head out to Arlington Park and gamble on some ponies. Yee ha for Fridays.
Counting minutes until 5 PM, at which time I will go home, probably exercise while watcing a Blu-Ray, and then head out with the wife to a downtown festival to do some people watching/self-esteem boosting. I'll probably wrap up the night by playing Saints Row III
I'm following up last friday's effort of writing an exciting and inspiring value proposition for a new technology product with the inevitable "can't we all just get along" plan so my team can get this thing built instead of having endless internal debates about who gets to own it and build it. Ah, the joys of large corporate America.
In related news, the beer selection at Binny's was quite nice last friday, so I have plenty of good tasting brew in the beer fridge waiting to be consumed. Shiner has an IPA called Wild Hare which I decided to try and it is pretty, pretty, pretty good. Not quite so hoppy, so goes down easy on a warm summer day...like today...that gives me an idea.
Ah power messaging and value props. I often wonder about the is, does, means of the large amount of booze in my fridge...
Only a few more hours to go... Unfortunately, I just remembered I have to put in some hours tomorrow, although it should be a pretty cake assignment - manning the company table for a few hours at some sort of community fest.