Michigan beat MSU last year in football.
OT: Friday tell a funny story open thread
Why's that funny?
was the bar monte's by chance
because we don't like them???
Sorry, maybe my story should have been, "MSU lost to Michigan last year."
But we should expect to beat them, thus I don't find it funny that we did beat them. Now if you said, "MSU will beat Michigan this year", I'd laugh hysterically.
I once changed Mel Gibson's Wikipedia page to say that he was personally funding Auschwitz: The Ride at Disneyland. It made me giggle.
Kyle Bosch is enrolling early
Lane Kiffin is a good coach.
I just received/opened a letter upon getting home from work last night from the State Revenue Dept. claiming I owe unpaid taxes and that they have me calculated making 1.75 times what I really make.....fffFFFFUUUUUUUU
Is this a "Help!" thread too?!
We got dinner together, she came back to my place, yadda yadda yadda... we're seening a movie tomorrow night.
Buckeye fans think they will crush Michigan in Ann Arbor in November.
The Buckeye fans who will pay hundreds to come see "Michigan get jailsexed" as my idiot Ohio cousin has been saying
had just finished a smoke, the wacky kind, and of course made the decision that Taco Bell was needed to seal the deal. We went to Taco Bell, placed a ridiculous order, went to the window, paid for our food, and drove back home. It took us until we got home to realize that neither one of us had taken possession of said food. We drove back to Taco Bell, pulled up, provided a very awkward explanation and after an extended period of silence we were instructed to pull up to the window. At that time, a hand appeared out the window with a huge bag of Taco Bell hanging from it. I grabbed the bag without making eye contact and went back home, this time with food.
The guy two people in front of me paid with a $5 and when he got the change, told the lady that he paid with a 20, so she thought about it and gave him $15 more in change. The very next guy who was in front of me pulled the same move and got her again. Idiots.....
There once was a man from Nantucket...
...whose foot got stuck in a bucket....
In my younger years I was way more ballsy and drunk - mostly drunk - and I did risky things for laughs.
Story Time with Uncle Dudeness:
*I totally ripped this off from a Zach Galifinakis routine, but this is a true story:
At a local establishment in Grand Rapids, MI that I frequented I saw a man and woman talking at the bar. I would say I was in rare form but at that point in my life it was neither rare nor really a form, more of a drunken sweaty stupor. Anyway I noticed they arrived sperately and were very into what eachother were saying so I assumed either a first date or a very early in the relationship type of date - anyway... I run up between them and say "sorry" to the girl I turn to the guy and say "Do you have anymore of those roofies?"
His look was priceless.
He was just started saying "No... I ... Whaaa?... I don't even know that guy. I swear!"
I say "Shit, man." and walk back over to my friends before he even has a chance to get angry or know what really happened. My buddies still talk about that one to this day.
I was such an asshole back then.
Was this bar you were at Raggs? That bar was known for his roofies until it got shut down last year
Ohhhh Raggs. It was a good place to go to when you're drunk and you strike out at Flannigans or Mojos.
Flanagans - across from Raggs.
I went to Raggs one time and one time only. I split a Blue Buffalo with my buddy (it looked as awkward as it sounds) and I don't remember anything. I never returned.
And yes, those will make you black out. But most people that went to Raggs never remember anything anyways. Also, Flanagans sucks now. All the bouncers that were at Raggs went there are huge douchebags
Yea I actually bounced at Flanagans for a little while.
Not sure who the Raggs guys are.
Too bad Flanagans sucks now. I know they did update their taps so that the draft beer doesn't smell like Bigfoots dick anymore, but it had been losing people for a while.
I still love it because many of my friends still work there.
Back 10 years ago, it was the only place that I could get what I thought was "a proper purple rain". Two of them would knock me on my ass, then an absolut & red bull would pick me back up. (damn, I drank some disgusting crap back then!) Funny story; the last time I was there, pop evil was playing, and the bass player shared my table WHILE he was playing. I could have (should have) slipped something in his drink right then and ended their reign of terror and awful music before they really got going. Sad part is, at the time they didn't have much original stuff and just doing covers, I thought they were pretty cool. So embarrassing.
On vacation out west recently, our family was caught in a wild wind storm that seemed to come out of nowhere. As the winds increased, we took shelter in an abandoned storefront to wait out the storm, all the while trying to get info. on our devices as to the nature and severity of this wild storm. All of a sudden, someone screamed just in time for all of us to witness a large shark flying through the air, biting madly as it descended upon a lone man weilding a chain saw. We all just stood in wonder as we watched as the two collided in a bloody carcass filled scene of chaos. That was the best vacation ever.
I don't know, I have this story about giving a nose hair trimmer as a Christmas gift to one's new husband, but it's kind of a had-to-be-there story. TRUST ME IT WAS REAL FUNNY AT THE TIME
I used to work with this chick who had a major crush on me. One night I decided to hang out with her despite the fact that I knew bad things could happen and could result in an awkward work situation, especially since I didn't find her as marriage material which means it would be more of a one and done situation. (Some of you might still question my hesitation, but when you have a career job and are looking to keep said career job, messing around with random chicks in the office is the worst thing you could do).
So I invite her over, we put on a movie, start talking... I decided that instead of making regretful decisions, I would just talk about making those regretful decisions with her and see how she reacted. Well.... let's just say I about got raped. I finally told her that she needed to go, and the night was over.
Get to work Monday morning (the event happened on a Friday night), and I look at my desk and there is a piece of paper sitting there which I did not leave on Friday. Now I knew this chick liked writing poetry, but I never really knew how much until I read what was written on that paper.
This poem was seriously the most provactive and sexually-explicit poem I had ever written, and it was sitting on my desk and was written about me. I nearly pooped my pants. She even signed off of the poem as "Wild Honey" if that paints any sorta picture.
I still have the poem in a keepsake box, and my wife is even cool enough to not force me to burn it in the fireplace.
I would share the poem, but I have a feeling I'd get banned from here.
This poem was seriously the most provactive and sexually-explicit poem I had ever written, and it was sitting on my desk and was written about me. I nearly pooped my pants.
Your reaction to poetry is...unusual.
The story would have been funnier if he did poop his pants.
When you read a poem written about you in sex language at work knowing that people constantly drop off stuff on your desk and could have noticed the poem and been curious enough to take a sneak peak at it, your potential reactions are endless.
I realize the hilarity of this story is found in the poem itself, so there might not be much of a reaction to my story at the moment, but it seriously is probably the most insane and perhaps proudest moment of my life.
If I get enough requests, I may post a snippet of it after I get home from work, which is in.. like... 4.5 hours.
Which is also, like, more than enough time to make something up. I call BS!
...unless you post something within the next 5 minutes. We know you have every line committed to memory.
Alright, well if I was going to make up a story I probably wouldn't have gone the "poetry" route, which is completely random and ridiculous.
I will say that even if I did write this poem myself, I would still be commended for its greatness. It's THAT good.
And no, unfortunately I do not have it memorized. All I have burned in my head is "Wild Honey" and a few foreign words for her love maker.
I am beginning to regret sharing this story.
OK, guys.... If I am banned for this, well, I hope it was worth it. I happened to find a copy in my sent email - something like this is just meant to be shared.
Here you go....
By: Wild Honey
Ten minutes since I've gone
As I gently touch my lips
To find traces of your kisses
Burning through my fingertips
Quiet anguish in my yoni
Craving so much more than kiss
Throbbing passions overflowing
Refusing to be dismissed
The center of my thighs
Warming my bed tonight
Sanity and lust
Gearing up for a fight
I feel you in my arms
Your warm breath on my skin
Your body pressed against me
Tonight lust is going to win
It's been two hours since I left you
My thoughts are rampant with desire
The heat from my yearning
Setting my bed on fire
Visions in my mind
Of your fingers pressed into my skin
The beast of lust inside me
Trying to pull you in
Dampness on my skin
The heat seeping from my essence
It's my own fingers on my body
Sampling my wetness
Open flames on my body
Being stroked by my desire
The beast inside me is angered
Her needs now becoming dire
The beast inside me rumbles
Wanting to be set free
She's being flooded by my passions
Causing sanity to flee
My body writhes in anguish
Wanting your touch again
I accept the impossibility
So my anguish will have no end
.... see you in Bolivia
I think I need some "me" time.
Fuck.... I went all the way and actually pooped my pants. Time for a shower I guess
Sounds like she had an awful lot of heat in her crotch! Gonorrhea? Candida? Yikes. As Tom Hanks said to Jon Lovitz in "Big", "I'll stay away from her then."
"Sampling my wetness"
I was definitely expecting something more like
And now it is the hour
To receive my golden shower..
That being said it was much cleaner than I expected
Honestly so was I. If it was much worse I wouldn't have posted it for public knowledge.
Bolivia? You should go straight to the MGoHallofFame. It wasn't all that bad, I was expecting worse!
Go. Go to your lockbox and fetch this romantic poetry you claim and share with us the wonders of an odd office relationship...You must.
I hope she used, "Oh Captain My Captain" somewhere in the poem.
One day your childern are going to come across this peom in your box and have a completely different view of their parents.
I thought he left because Derrick Green wanted to wear #27?
This one time in highschool...I tried to sneak back to my house in the middle of the night while drunk, I fell from the window on the second floor and landed on the washing machine.... yeah, that's why it's dented... of course when explaining time came around I blamed a racoon.
The washing machine is outside...?
There's an inside patio in the house, yeah, weird house....
still commonplace (and I was young), I used to Call Sam and Lee Free etc when on vacation. I'd tell long stories/leave messages of my horrific experiences with dog bites, careless doctors, uneven sidewalks etc. My physical and emotional injuries were devastaing and I couldn't wait to enlist their help in getting the compensation I deserved.
Totally not alone. I used to do it too all the time. Used to call so often we'd fill the tape. Yeah I'm that old that we used to use casette tapes for our answering machines. But yeah, I'm just happy I'm not the only idiot when I was younger. Not saying you're an idiot....
How many "sweet story, bro"s can we get in one thread?
Based merely upon these two stories, you sound like a rather vile human being.
I just picture Matt Vogrich being difficult to anger to the point that he would slap someone.
Was the best. I snorted. Thanks.
If only we won the title that year, it would be funnier.
I was at a lake with my cousin and his young son a couple of years ago. The little man was playing with a Batman toy, and (I'm omitting some details here) my cousin warned him that the "lake monster" might get him. My cousin's son got a worried look on his face and began slowly backing away from the lake. I said to him, "Don't worry, buddy, Batman will protect you," to which he responded in a deadly serious voice, "No, Erik, Batman's not real."
Here's a gif:
At first that isn't funny, but I have watched it about thirty times and it's now funny.
Somebody went on reddit today.
Attended a certain private college in West Michigan. I was at an off-campus party that was a street over from campus. Anyways, I got so shit-faced that I walked through the backyard woods blacked out and I woke up in the very early morning right next to the parking lot of the campus. Thankfully campus security didn't spot someone passed out at the edge of the parking lot.
If we're talking about the same private college, I once woke up under the M-37 underpass
Yes, that's the college. The one named after a certain theologian. That is fucking hilarious. The party I was at was on Morningside.
Haha I can't imagine waking up under that underpass with cars going through their all the time.
...my friend was at Rick's...my friend was drunk...my friend doesn't like Pauly Shore...my friend told Pauly Shore he was not funny and threw a beer in Pauly Shore's face...when Pauly Shore and his bodyguard got in our face...our roommates who happened to be Rick's bouncers (and on the Michigan wrestling team) kindly escorted Pauly Shore and his party out of Rick's...I bought my friend a new beer.
My family and I were in a pizza restaurant one day.
I was playing with ice while at the table. My mom said that I shouldn't play with ice because I could drop it on the floor and cause someone to trip.
Shortly thereafter a man walks by our table trips on an ice cube or two and his wooden leg pops out.
Needless to say the look on my face was priceless.
I find it amusing that you censored "dick" but not "fuck".
Why censor anything? They are just words.
There once was a man named Cass
Whose balls were made out of brass
When he clanged them together
They played Stormy Weather
And lightning shot out of his ass.
I was in a car when it crashed into a Subway restaurant. We destroyed the entire glass entrance, except for the part that holds the sign saying "Drive Thru Open." I've always found that part hilarious. No, I wasn't driving, and no, the driver wasn't drunk. The breaks actually went out. Good times.
My brother's friend was driving drunk and drove through the back of a Speedway. Yes, the brick wall.....
Well if you wanted a story about someone else, then I could make it more interesting. This accident was pretty odd though. We were going at around 5-10 mph. It was like a carwash...only with glass instead of water and soap.
My best friend drove into someone's HOUSE going 70 MPH. That was a weird day...
Hmm, let's see, a friend of my dad was a pilot, he used to fly small passenger planes. One day he got drunk with my uncles and left the place driving drunk, he was driving in a 2 lane, 2 way country road at night and there was a curve, for reasons only he understands he forgot that he was driving a car and kept stepping into the gas pedal as he was approaching a brick wall, just moments before he reached the wall he started pulling the steering wheel thinking he was on a plain and trying to make the car take flight... anyways, he crashed against the wall and broke his legs... they still laugh at that story though.
We had subs it was crazy.
I invited a client of mine to a regular saturday morning basketball game in which I participate. He hurt himself on the second play of the first game. He hasnt hired me for another job since that happened. Granted it was last weekend but still, that was the only way that I could finish the story. Go Blue!
Those look like a lot of fun.
Back in kindergarten, they convinced a girl that if they held her hand, she would get pregnant. She was homeschooled for a while after that and apparently ended up being kind of whorish.
early a.m., and he produced a bottle of whisky. At 5 am. I had a couple swigs, to prove manhood mostly, but he killed the entire bottle by 8 am.
We got in at 9am with a cooler full of salmon, and while I was cleaning fish, he passed out in the yard without his shorts on. He laid in the sun until noon, got a fair sunburn on his junk, and upon waking up insisted I call his wife to come pick him up. "And oh, by the way she's hot and ready for a threesome. Well you might have to handle it - I'm too drunk to fuck".
I politely took a pass on banging his wife, poured him into her car and his truck sat in my driveway until Tuesday.
blumpkinesque (oops, misplaced reply)
a friend from work asked me if I wanted to go see Chicago. With a furled brow, I just gave a "uh...no". He had a surprised/bewildered look on his face after my reponse, and it was a very strange moment.
Next day, first thing he says is "did you think I meant the band Chicago? I meant the White Sox." Who says "do you want to see [team city]?" when they're talking about going to a game? It was a great game; Granderson hit a grand slam and the Tigers won.
A week later, I was hanging out with my older cousins, and one of them started talking about the Chicago concert they went to. It turned out Chicago the band was in town at the same time. I keep telling the guy at work that he really did want to go to the Chicago concert and just backpedalled after my reponse.
I was doing some bikeriding with brothers and, just before breakfast, decided to race them back to the lot on a damp morning. Riding as fast as I could, I made it to the lot first and, like a dumb kid, threw my arms up in celebration. I proceeded to lose control of my bike, hit something, and fly over the handlebars and slide through the grass. Of course, in my shock of what had happened, I didn't close my mouth through it all, so my cries in the aftermath were inaudible due to the grass in my mouth.
To my family's dismay, Youtube and smart phones didn't exist back then.
is hilarious. Thank you for sharing!
I think this guy Trolled Craig James!
My old man is a tech guy and was one of the first to get the digital punch combination locks on our front door back when I was in high school. With a big family and four kids in sports it helped with everyone’s different schedules and forgetting keys… yadda.. yadda.. yaddaa…. Come back hammered one night trying to sneak in quietly but can’t remember the combo. Drunken Genius Plan B was strip down and put on just basketball shorts, my typical PJs, that where in my car and pretend to sleep walk (which I actually did on occasion) around the house setting off all the motion sensor lights till someone woke up to let me in. Dad wakes up and is so out of it that not only does buy it but tells the story to his friends thinking that he is making fun of me. Sucker.
Me and a couple of my friends used to play a game called "Ow". Each person built a small fort. We would then shut the lights off and proceed to chuck stuff across the room (including, but not limited to, bouncy balls, full size basketballs, mini plastic hockey sticks, markers, the can the markers were in, really anything you could find in the pitch black darkness). If you said "Ow" you lost...It was awesome!
Here's one that comes from a good friend of mine.
She's in a serious relationship with this guy, and as he goes out of town one weekend, he asks if she can watch after a pet. She gets to the apartment, feeds the dog, tidies up the place a bit, when all of a sudden she is overcome by the need to visit the bathroom for a quick shit. Unfortunately, after she finishes, the toilet isn't flushing -- it's broken and being a chick, she wouldn't even begin to know where to start. So, rather than leave a couple of floating turds in the toilet, she decides to scoop them out into a paper bag and dispose of it later. After scooping out her excrement, she places the bag on the kitchen counter and proceeds to exit the apartment, without the keys -- the door locks automatically. She does not realize this until she is walking out of the building. Needless to say, her "gift" was not well received and she did not hear back from the guy. Oops.
That was totally a comedian's joke somewhere at some time because I have heard of that story too. But the best part is it reminds me of a good story. I lived in a house with 4-5 guys in college and this one guy brought his new girlfriend out with us one night. She proceeded to tell us this story of a couple she knows. The guy responds to a singles add in the local paper even though he is seeing this other girl. When he gets to the meeting place he sees its his current girlfriend. Apparently she had some angst too. Well, after a long discussion, we finally proved it to her that her story was bull**** by going to a different bar that had a internet juke box and played her the pina colada song. It took many weeks, but our bud stopped hating us for making her feel so silly for her folly. Probably because she felt too silly to be around any of us.
I answered the door and held out the bowl of candy to this very cute little boy. He was probably 3 years old. As I bent over to lower the bowl to him, somehow, a big one slipped out my backside. It was pretty obvious what I had done. The little boy looked at me and said, "And what do you say?". I told him I'd do better next time and quickly closed the door hoping his mother was standing far enough down the front walk to not have caught that exchange.
After 20 shots, 15 beers and a 44.3 second 5-beer boot, I (blacked out) tried to find a shortcut home and ended up over a mile in the wrong direction. My friends called the cops (who had me) and my friend drove drunk to pick me up. With tears running down his face, the cop told my friend how they found me:
Asleep in the middle of the road (in February), the cops walked up to me, said they were going to search me, and asked if I had anything on me that could hurt them. To this I reached in my pockets and responded, "Well, I have a shot glass, a lighter and some condoms, so if you have some liquor, cigs and sluts we're ready to party!"
True story, and I didn't get arrested or even get a fine. God I love Dayton's campus police.
Me and friends driving in downtown Miami on spring break. I am in drivers seat of friends parent's car with windows down when guy pulls up next to me.
Guy: How much you want?
Me: ....uh...no, I'm good
Guy: (perturbed) no man, how much for the van?
Me: (slowly realize for sale sign in van and not drug proposition) uh, ten thousa...
Guy: (angry) you don't even know (peels out)
Too Small Didn't Read
Story Time with Uncle Dudeness:
In junior year of undergrad I lived in a house with 5 of my good buddies. We had a kegerator, a pretty large house, foose in the basement, etc. anyway we threw some pretty big parties. One of the guys who lived in the house was basically married to a girl who lived back home and he went there pretty much every weekend.
Well we threw our first party and his door got broken down and his room got messed up.
So he comes back on Monday after the weekend to find his room a disaster and no door in sight. He says nothing to anyone.
The next Friday he leaves agian to go home. We have another party. People are in and out of his room, etc. etc.
Monday comes along and he comes back from the weekend with his girlfriend and in he walks with his buddy carrying what appears to be a safe door. Turns out while he was home he fabricated a steel door and metal beam to attach the hinges to support the weight of the door without tearing down the wall. This thinks was about 2 inches thick and fit the frame perfect. The thing weighed at least 300 pounds. He puts it up, puts a pad lock on it and goes to class.
Nobody ever broke in his room again, although we did lean an aluminum bat next to it so "drunk break stuff" guy (there's one at every party) could burn himself out whacking away at that door for a while.
One time I beat Kevin down Cherry Hill
Its posts like these that remind us all how slow the offseason can really be.
How many days until football?
If you like the OP's style, here is a site that baits 419 scammers. Anyone who has ever put anything for sale on Craigslist, or who has a busy email addy, has probably seen at least one of the scams before.
A rich man and a poor man, who share the same wedding anniversary, meet on the same street corner every year while shopping for their wives' anniversary gifts.
The poor man asks the rich man what he bought this year for his wife. The rich man says, "I got her a diamond ring and a BMW. The poor man asks the rich man why two gifts. The rich man responds that If she doesn't like the ring she can drive it back to the jewelry store in the car."
The rich man then asks the poor man what he bought for his wife this year. The poor man says, "I bought her a pair of fuzzy slippers and a dildo. This way, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."
Second semester of freshman year my fraternity dragged the pledge class over to the strip club in Ypsi. One of the dancers came over to me and asked me what grade I had gotten in our history seminar first semester. I didn't even recognize her as my classmate since she'd come to class in loose clothing to hide her figure and no makeup. Had she not said anything I'd have never known it was her. Of course, I got a lap dance from her and it was good.
So moral of the story - when some girls say they are stripping to pay for college, it sometimes is actually true.
Chinaman walks into the eye doctor. The doctor says you've got a catarac. The chinaman says no, I drive a rincoln.
I missed the joke thread.
Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian American, please.
STFU Donny, you're out of your element.
Spring break to the Bahamas. Booze cruise. Endless Bahama Mamas. Just finished a lifeguard cert course. Thought I was cool. It was way too hot. Asked the captain if there were any sharks in these waters. He looked puzzled, paused, and said, " Yes, yes, many sharks." I could tell he was full of shit. Went down told my buddy he said no. Handed our wallets to buddies, stood on the edge. There were two Bahamians in a small boat along side of us checking out the girls and they said they would pick us up. I grabbed his hand to make sure he would jump and the next thing you know, I am 10 feet under with no idea which way was up. I then remembered from class that if you exhale, you can follow the bubbles up to the surface. Upon reaching the surface, another guy had already jumped and both of them were in the boat.
They took us to shore and we ran soaking wet through the streets to the docks where the boat was coming in. Drunk and stoopid, we jumped off of the dock to get back to the boat, then realized we should just get out and wait for it. High fives and screaming from the entire boat.
This one may be amusing to the parents on the board anyway. I am the reason many of the events around my sisters' birth in late 1981 were a disaster. For some reason, despite being very young, I remember all this.
For starters, when my mother went into labor, my father was at the hardware store. Why? I had flushed a banana down the downstairs toilet. It so happened that the birth of my sisters coincided with a period during which I would flush random objects down the toilet. Among the more exotic ones - as my parents still recall - were a shrimp fork, two D-cell batteries,one of our St. Bernard's rawhide bones and a lipstick dispenser.
So, thinking quickly, I ran up the street to a family friend's house and somehow managed to explain that my mother's water broke by mentioning that the family room carpet was "all wet". Fortunately, they got the message and drove me back to the house and loaded my mother in the car so we could get to the hospital. As we were backing out, my father pulled up and, armed with a plunger and a wrench, asked what the hell was going on. I don't know if my dad entirely understood, but we all managed to make it to the hospital.
I was just old enough to be aware on some level that I was the only child for a time. Indeed, my grandmother did not help matters by constant calling me "The Little Prince". Needless to say, the prospect of what it would be like to actually have siblings did not occur to me - I simply remember thinking that watching my mother get progressively larger with what would be twins was sort of novel.
I have some memories of visiting them in the hospital (most notably of throwing up in the waiting room), but I have more memories of the many relatives who would fly in or drive in and visit for a time throughout the time my mother carried the twins. When my sisters came home, it was natural to my mind that they were yet another guest, so I asked my father as he helped carry them in the garage, "Would you put them in the guest room, please?". Obviously, they weren't staying, just like no one else who came to the house stayed forever....wait....
You gave your baby sister one hell of a swirlee but your father managed to fish her out before she made it past the first bend in the pipes?
Graduation party a couple years ago. We decided to sneak downstairs to the bar, which just so happened to be directly beneath his parents room. My friend sat there embarrassed while we laughed because his parents were having quite the after party of their own above us. The longer that went on and the drunker we got, it was only more and more funny.
down to Tampa three years ago. on the way through Tennessee, they had billboards advertising Greyhound races next exit. This caught my mother's attention to which she replied, "they actually race buses down here?"
A news station in San Jose mistook a racist joke for the names of Asiana Flight 214 captains.
A year after I graduated, we drove my buddy from AA to Chicago for his bachelor party. We stayed in some hotel where there happened to be some ladies in the room next door. As it turns out, there were two mothers and two daughters.
Obviously, before we hit the town, there were a few daddy pops consumed, as well as a log of chew. For whatever reason, Sharon (one of the mom's from the room next door) decided she was going out with us. We hit a few bars, got shot down by some chicks and headed home in the cab where one of my friends had Sharon on his lap. Come to find out when we got home, Sharon was getting "pleasured" in the cab by my friend. Pretty sure Sharon was married...
She ended up leaving us all a handwritten note when she left that thanked us all for a great time, which was nice, I suppose.
EDIT: The note said it was also her birthday weekend. Even better.
I didn't see any bad words. Why would anyone ban you? Is it because the lines didn't always rhyme?
I kid. Nicely done! Wish I can say I inspired a chick like that....