Also, "They're watching Snow White. And they love it..."
fair point that
Also, "They're watching Snow White. And they love it..."
Lloyd: "You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it."
Gus: "I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding."
Murray: When are we gonna open presents?
Gus: Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant fucking canon. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey! And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown special with your ashes burning IN MY FUCKING HOUSE! AGH!
Murray: What's that smell?
Gus: Shut up.
"Can't see the lines can ya Russ?".....
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
"Kevin, you're what the French call 'les incompetant'
"I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ASS"
That's the version where Natalie Wood plays the little girl. Anyway, the line/situation I love is when the US mail delivers all the Santa Claus mail to the courthouse and the Judge says something like, "If the United States government deems this individual to be Santa Claus that's good enough for me. Case dismissed."
Great, underrated movie.
Eddie has some of the best lines in the movie.
A couple favorites:
"Remember that metal plate in my head? Well I had to get it replaced because every time Katherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour."
"Art, you want to load me up with more there, it is Goood!"
"You ready to do some kissing?"
"That there is an RV."
I've got about 45 "favorites" from Christmas Vacation, but one we repeat a lot (when discussing presents) is Eddie's intonation in Wal-Mart when he tells Clark to pick himself out something "real nice" with a wink.
Sometimes I'll add a finger gun and a mouth click, because hey.
"...my brother makes this killer eggnog with lighter fluid". Curtis Armstrong's character in "Better of Dead"
Another Griswold classic in the mall talking to Mary:
"Which is to say Christmas as in yule, yule log. Not a log. I don't have a log. Not in the sense that you thought I said.
"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"
Not a finger!!
Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of
the holiday air... an bottomhole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical
toilet into my sewer...
Eddie: If you scratch his belly, Clark, he will love you till the day you die.
Clark: I really shouldn't, Eddie. My hands are all chapped.
Clark: [a squirrel is loose in the house] Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines.
When Clark's boss asks about mentioning his crunch enhancer at a trade show:
"Don't forget that report, Bill."
Clark: Yes, sir. Merry Christmas. (then line of kiss asses follow boss, Clark addresses each as they pass).
Clark: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."
"You serious Clark?"
"You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"
Ha ha I love this movie
One of my favorite scenes from "Christmas Vacation" is when Clark & Ellen are in bed and Clark still has sap all over his hands from the tree and he ends up with magazine pages, Ellen's hair and the lamp stuck to his fingers.
is required viewing around Christmas. It's still as funny today as it was 20 years ago. It's stood the test of time unlike many other movies.
Cousin Eddie is one of my favorite all time movie characters. Right up there with El Guapo and Rambo.
Uncle Lewis: This year, we came up with the perfect gift for you."
Clark: Oh, Uncle Lewis, you didn't have to get me anything."
Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it."
"Only I didn't say fudge.... I said THE word"
Just about every line of dialogue from Elf. This scene is a real gem:
"Do you want to eat some time?
You know...the code."
My girlfriend loves this one from Elf.
"Did you hear that?"
"What the fuck is with you and fixing fuckin' sandwiches!?"
"Buzz your girlfriend....WOOF!"
SONS OF B*TCHES!! BUMPUSSES!!!!
I also like this one from Christmas Vacation:
Clark W. Griswold: "It's a one year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club."
Cousin Eddie: "Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."
"Yeah baby, put it inside me."
Oh whoops, wrong kind of Christmas movie.
seinfelds "festivas for the rest of us"
"Who is this Kris Kringle?" "A YoYo" -Burgermeister
That's Burgermeister Meisterburger to you, mister.
And if we're going there- "I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm Mister Snow..."