Land mimes are silent killers....
OT: The dumbest question I've ever been asked as a teacher
In the grand scheme of things, I don't consider knowing the names of revolutionary-era Presidents' estates to be terribly important.
True, but still, President Monticello?
Sounds just as plausible as President Millard Fillmore.
NO POLITICS ON TEH BOARDZ!!!1!!
An avid Millard Fillmore supporter eh.
They probably thought it was Monty Chello, or something along those lines.
In fairness, some of those 19th-century presidents are hard to remember. I mean, Chester Arthur?
Any fan of the Die Hard series will always remember President Chester A. Arthur as the 21st president.
solely from the Simpsons song about the Mediocre Presidents
"There's Taylor, there's Tyler;
there's Fillmore and there's Hayes;
there's William Henry Harrison:
'I died in 30 days!'"
The Presidents in the post-founding/pre-civil war era were largely insignifcant secod rate men, the leading political figures were in Congress. To get us to remember these names, my high school history teacher informed us that they were the "gay presidents" becasue "Tyler Polk(ed) Taylor and Filmore Pierce(d) Buchannan."
I learned my presidents from the best possible source.
glad I'm not the only one to immediately think of Die Hard when Arthur is mentioned
The policies we want, the muttonchops we need.
Gives new meaning to the phrase 'silent but deadly'...
I teach and coach as well at a local high school rich in football tradition. I teach P.E. and a student shot an airball and said " I hate these rims". It was not a question but the comment left me scratching my head.
Maybe he was being witty, as in "these clubs are terrible".
I come for the Michigan sports news/analysis, I stay for the witty comments.
damn mimes area killer. But seriously it is sad that our younger generations are so far behind other countries.
I dunno, you gotta admire the way kids honestly ask questions without worrying whether they're 'dumb' or not. I think we've all had those kinds of questions at some point.
I always tell my students there are no such things as asking stupid questions, just stupid people just asking questions.
So the signals must have gone through the land and she is probably correct, at least partially if signal transmission uses cables or land lines.
He's a teacher! Boo him!
That really isn't that bad of a question
Seriously. I ask dumber questions than this every day.
Yeah, give 'em a break. They're just kids. I once had an adult tell me he didn't speak Canadian.
The United States is one of the few counties in the world who is not a signatory member of a UN resolution banning land mines. They kill thousands of innocent people (mostly children in the poorest of countries).
Might be a good time to bring in the ethics of using them, whether the US *should* sign on, the reasons why we aren't.
One of the most memorable moments of my college career was when a teacher in one of my classes realized that we had no idea about various acts of genocide going on around the world. He brought in a person from Amnesty International who gave a terrific overview. The images of those mass graves was haunting.
Love it or get the f out, hippy.
And you think European students are just soooo much more worldy than Americans? In their ability to discuss European matters yes (because many countries are the size of US states), but in reality, they are pretty much the same as US students. Looking to go out, get, drunk, drop out, and bitch about not having a job when they start looking for one with a C+ average from an average school.
And I'm guessing you're a supporter of the UN and their wild successes as well...
Well, when North Korea stops being crazy, we can remove the landmines (not mimes) from the DMZ. Until then, I wouldn't expect the US to sign that resolution.
And it isn't just landmines that are a problem. They still find unexploded bombs in Europe leftover from ww2. Back in December there was a 1 ton bomb found during some construction work , in Germany.
I have no idea why the above was marked flamebait.
It is a fact that unexploded bombs are still found in Europe.
My point is that it isn't just landmines that can kill years after they are found. Unexploded bombs are also a threat.
I have no idea why a post explaining that the problem is BIGGER than just landmines is "flamebait." I'm not belittling the issue at all. I'm trying to say that unexploded ordance is a broader problem and goes beyond landmines.
around a roller in the night.
Or, at least my best friend in highschool thought so.
Okay UMich87... I STILL don't know what the real words are to that song. Can you help?
Everytime I hear the Diana Ross and the Supremes song, "You Can't Hurry Love" I swear she is singing "You Kangarilla". Doesn't make sense but it sure sounds that way.
"Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night."
Knowing the correct words would spoil the song.
Once knew a guy who thought that TLC song went, "don't go Jason Waterfalls."
I now know it's something like deuce....but still....
Metallica: Never free...Lemonade...
I thought I was the only person in the world who heard "Help The Lions Plan." I honestly thought we were helping the Lions front office scout talent, suggest trades, etc.
Reminds me of the time in freshman (HS) English somebody referred to a promiscuous character in one of our assignments as "acting like the h-word."
I once asked a teacher in the 3rd grade why babies are born naked. In a very stern way, she responded by saying that women don't have closets in their bellies....The memory still haunts me
Ha, I don't know why, but I fould this hilarious.
Side note: As a fellow teacher, I'd like to point out that non-teachers always have their horror stories about "bad teachers." Remember that someone's opinion of this "bad teacher" was formed when they weren't exactly at their peak of maturity.
At least they didn't think it was Land Memes that are dangerous.
land sharks are what you really have to worry about
Only good thing in the world to come from Jimmy Buffet...
....are a constant threat to the touring public. Please keep a safe distance.
Blow them all up before they hurt someone.
Or make my kid cry. EEEWWWW those things are creepy.
Relevant story : When my younger brother was very little, he mistakenly sang The Victors as "Hail to the victors valiant, hail to the concrete heroes ..." (which is kind of awesome actually)
And when I was very little, I drew a picture (one of many fan art projects in my early years) of Michigan Stadium with a scoreboard showing our domination of Ohio ... Except I wrote "UFM" to represent the good guys because that's what I had always heard when people said "U of M."
So yeah, I guess my point is, I can understand this.
When I was little, I thought that line was "Hail! to the country's heroes..."
I also thought it was "UFM" for awhile.
Much like your younger brother, I used to sing "The Victors" as "hail to the concrete heroes". It took forever for my parents to correct me.
Wife in South Bend still says "concrete heroes." She knows the real words, but she likes it better her way.
I'm actually really happy & surprised that so many other people got this mixed up! Turns out, ALL little kids are dumb. Yayyy!
Teaching about the Louisiana Purchase one day and I was using a PowerPoint with pictures and such. So I have a for sale sign up and it says "call Napolean @ 423-buy-land". A girl raises her hand and asks in complete sincerity, "coach why does Napolean use our local number?" Blew that lesson up.
I had one similar...
Teaching a lesson on Colonial tensions prior to the Revolutionary War, one of my students asked, "where was the Boston Tea Party?"
Can you tell me who's buried in Grant's Tomb and what color is George Washington's White Horse?
On a serious note, I wish people would realize that not knowing history can really screw up the future, just sayin'.
You shouldn't have tried to trick them by misspelling Napoleon's name.
Outrageous! Do kids these days not play Minesweeper anymore?
Minesweeper has been replaced by something called Angry Birds
"What is an angry bird?! I'm tired of pretending I know."
This was my mother in law's question to my wife yesterday. I bet all the kids that ask these funny questions could have told her.
make you a mime.
No Walking Dead thread today? I see that it is going head-to-head with Zombieland.
I just spent ten minutes looking at that website. There are some hilarious student responses there. Some are obviously bored students who know the material, some are just begging for mercy and a passing grade, but some just defy categorization.
My favorite was the Oedipus essay. But Peter Nguyen is pretty creative himself.
I had a history/econ teacher in high school that student taught at some summer school for troubled students or something like that. He asked the students for an essay on George S. Patton, and one of his students writes:
George S. Patton: He kicked ass and took names.
Apparently my teacher gave him a D- because he thought it was hilarious. I'd tend to agree with that.
"... taught at some summer school for troubled students or something like that"
Was it the Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too?
He had a problem with payment, though, Derk Zoolander would only pay in really big checks, a la Happy Gilmore.
I don't know what it was, but it was some situation with...let's just say, students who were less than ideal academically.
lol this site is awesome. I would have given that Madison picture maximum points.
A teacher at the school I teach at had a student ask her, in her 2nd period biology course, "Do Asian people get pregnant? Because I have never seen a pregnant asian woman"
And in one of my high school science classes there was a girl who, on separate occasions, asked if Long Island would float away without bridges connecting it (if only, right?) and if elephants were actually "extincted."
sooo... which one is it?
you just gotta anunciate...bro
A kid asked me once, "Do white people ever get cold? I saw this white bum outside once and he wasn't wearing a coat."
I can't remember what I said in response.
As for when I was little, I once thought the Dukes of Hazzard's car was called the "Generally," which never made sense...
Our high school Michigan history class (back in the Stone Age) used a text that had some political and historical shortcomings, including the "fact" that Indians were cannibals and liked to feast on missionaries. The teacher, reading from the book, said the Indians "ate them with relish." One of my classmates said, "With RELISH? I didn't know they HAD relish back then."
My classmate got over it. She went on to become a very good junior high teacher. Karma being what it is, I can only imagine the kind of questions her students asked her.
(was the 5 nations until the Tuscarora joined), "Mohawk" means man-eater in Algonquin. Could be name-calling by an enemy but both the Jesuit missionaries and English explorers report ritual cannibalism, such as the victorious chief eating the hand of the vanquished chief to take his power. I loved the history of the Great Lakes region as a kid and read a lot of books, including Alexander Henry's account. No mention of condiments.
There were apparently some tribes that practiced (is that the right word? Sounds too pleasant) cannibalism, though the large majority did not.
The Aztecs were notorious for ritual cannibalism (warriors would eat a strip of flesh from enemies they had slain in combat). Some people dispute this, but the Aztecs' own written and oral histories seem to support it as the truth. The Karankawa tribe of southeast Texas was also said to practice ritual cannibalism on defeated enemies. There were a few Amazonian tribes who practiced funerary cannibalism (family and friends would eat part of a dead tribal member's body as a religious ceremony at the funeral). Finally, the Carib people of South America were said to kill and eat prisoners of war, though it's been pointed out that the Spaniards who made this claim were lining their own pockets by doing so (Queen Isabella had forbidden her subjects from selling Africans, or Indians, as slaves unless they were cannibals).
I once had a student in one of the college classes I teach ask the following question when he was confused by an exam question: "So, by 19th century, what do you mean?"
Not a question, but the dumbest thing I've ever had a student say happened earlier this year in another college class I teach: "Actually, Seattle is still the smallest state." Upon reflection, he clarified that he meant Oregon.
than "land mimes".....
Not really a question, but hilarious nonetheless...
What the textbook said:
"...two organisms come together to create offspring."
What the student read:
"...two orgasms come together to create offspring."
I didn't correct her, because technically, she's right.
I have no stories.
I smell sexy
...because the presence of mimes, increases thoughts of suicide.
In high school (8-10 years ago) one of my classmates asked if Caesar was still alive.
Best one I ever heard came from my wife. She was in a freshman history class. The professor talks about Japan being at war with China when it launched the attack on Pearl Harbor. One of the brilliant young women in her class asked the professor how Japan could bomb Pearl Harbor when they were already at war with China. Without missing a beat, his response: "They took two planes."
I see nothing wrong with that question, at the time no one thought Japan could with their resources so streched. It deserved a better answer.
In high school French class, our teacher asked us to same ingredients one would put in a cake. Other students chipped in with the obvious ones like butter and flour, etc. I didn't know many other applicable words, so I chimed in with 'preservatif', thinking that store bought cakes use preservatives to keep them fresh.
'Preservatif' is the French word for condom
I think she was just messing with you.
"Did I miss anything?"
No kId I deliberately planned to waste everyone's time
we were talking about the american west, specifically farming in the mid 1800's. we had already covered sod houses, and how they used sod because there aren't any trees (wood) on the plains..
me: and what was the material they used to make houses?
me: remember? they don't have trees so they can't use wood, so they used.....
me: starts with an 'S'.....
girl: oh! yeah! SAND
there're no stupid questions, just stupid answers. and stupid people who don't ask questions.
a colleague of mine, Stan, was working with his homeroom class on something or other, and a young lady, looking at her school-provided planner, raised her hand and asked, "Is Christmas on the 30th or the 31st this year?"
Stan is one of the biggest smart-asses I know, and he'd been teaching 40 years; even he was left speechless.
I like the questions from cruise ship passengers.
1. Do the elevators go to the front of the ship?
2. Does the crew sleep on the ship?
was one of my 5th graders asking, "Do they have a 4th of July in Canada?"
Up until middle school, I had no idea what Harvard was. I thought people were saying "Harbor."
This thread really gets me. There are a bunch of other botched words that I can't recall at the moment, else I'd share them.
My high school history teacher regularly told us to read silently from the textbook rather than actually presenting a lesson. One day I was sitting in class reading about the lead-up to the Civil War and came across a line that said, "Stephen Douglas was a master debater." It was too much for my bored teenage brain to handle and of course I got in trouble when I couldn't explain to the class why I was laughing so hard.
ask what 6 divided by 2 was once, and I teach high school....
This story has made the rounds:
When I was young my father said to me:
"Knowledge is Power....Francis Bacon"
I understood it as "Knowledge is power, France is Bacon".
For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part and what was the surreal linkage between the two? If I said the quote to someone, "Knowledge is power, France is Bacon" they nodded knowingly. Or someone might say, "Knowledge is power" and I'd finish the quote "France is Bacon" and they wouldn't look at me like I'd said something very odd but thoughtfully agree. I did ask a teacher what did "Knowledge is power, France is bacon" meant and got a full 10 minute explanation of the Knowledge is power bit but nothing on "France is bacon". When I prompted further explanation by saying "France is Bacon?" in a questioning tone I just got a "yes". at 12 I didn't have the confidence to press it further. I just accepted it as something I'd never understand.
It wasn't until years later I saw it written down that the penny dropped.
Not directly a stupid question to a teacher, but a stupid question nonetheless. In Marine Corps bootcamp, a fellow recruit asked a Drill Instructor, if they actually teach us to fight with NCO swords, the response was this "Yep, eventhough everyone else maybe using automatic weapons, were going to give you a sword and send you in first"
is trying so hard not to lose it as he's holding that microphone. That was painful to watch.
My wifes friend in 9th grade history
Teacher notices this girl isnt paying attention and asks
"Ms. ______: who won the civil war ?"
"umm.... The Germanies?"
I mean how could you make up an answer dumber than this one ? This girl was called "germanies" the rest of highschool. I wish you could all know what she does for a living now, youd all be pissed.
During a lesson on mitosis, I had a student ask me if a girl could get pregnant through anal sex...his cousin, who was also in my class, then proceeded to ask him if he had eggs up his ass. Hell, even I had to laugh at that one.
I remember a time in my middle school science class we were talking about extreme weather and shit. One student asked the teacher if you could ever have a hurricane and tornado in the same place at the same time.
This was followed up by another kid asking if a hurricane and tornado were happening simultaneously, "would they start fighting?"
i took a freshman level poli-sci class at EMU, and the professor asked an honest question:
How many of you know how United States Senators are elected?
In a class of about 50-60 students, me and 4 others raised our hands...