OT: Calling all students: What motivated you in high school?

Submitted by Wendyk5 on

I'm curious to know what motivated you to do well in high school? Was there ever a period when you weren't motivated or had a crisis of confidence relating to your school work? How did you deal with not doing well in a class? I'm assuming that many of you are at Michigan, so you figured it all out in the end, but did you ever have times when you really were just not into schoolwork? How did your parents deal with it?

 

 

Edit: Thanks to all of you who spent time writing responses. It's helpful to get different perspectives on this. 

taistreetsmyhero

May 4th, 2015 at 9:59 PM ^

i wish i had a lot more of this attitude (maybe not going hard entirely like you did (no offense), but moreso than i did). i spent a lot of time on school because my parents just instilled it in me from an early age (get straight a's, go to college, to go graduate school, get a job), and i never questioned it. i wish i had "lived a little" more during high school, but instead i was always scared of getting in trouble and "messing with my future."

now that i'm older, and i look at all of my high school friends, i can tell you that many of the people who dicked around, were generally unintelligent, or just didn't care, etc. are doing just fine. i know facebook is terrible and makes you always feel like shit when you see all the fun things others are doing, but i definitely believe i'd be happier if i had taken more time to figure life out on my own than following the path my parents instilled in me without questioning it.

white_pony_rocks

May 4th, 2015 at 10:27 PM ^

my mom was a teacher, my grandma was a teacher, my great-grandma went to EMU when it was michigan normal teachers college, so trust me, they rode my ass about getting good grades and going to college, but i always just kind of did what I wanted, and they kind of gave up my junior year so i partied and slacked off even more.  looking back at it I had this really dangerous mindset that everything in life was going to work out and I was going to be moderately successful no matter what I did, I mean i kept fucking around for 6 years after highschool before I went to college.  I think a lot of it was that I never was and I'm still not motivated to have a shit ton of money

I can say that im having more fun and am happier now than during high school and those 6 years, and its not like im rolling in the money either, its just that ive found a few good friends and a gf who enjoy the same things I do.  I know what you mean about facebook friends, but I guess I still have that optimism that shit is just gonna work out and ill keep enjoying life even if I'm not flying to prague for a long weekend.

Lakeyale13

May 4th, 2015 at 9:54 PM ^

I am sure it has to be tough seeing your child struggle. Also, gotta be rough seeing him possibly lose the dream of going to Michigan. Some helpful perspective is that not going to Michigan isn't the end of the world.

I know several people who went to "poor academic colleges" that now make a fantastic living. Not saying this is easy to deal with, but not the end of the world by any stretch. The "light turns on" for all of us in different ways and at different times and there is nothing anyone can do to expedite the process.

Lakeyale13

May 5th, 2015 at 6:48 AM ^

I would love to know how long, or even if you have worked in corprate America. I am a 40 year old male (I'm a man!!!! I'm 40!!! - Gundy) and I work at a Fortune 500. Currently at a National Training meeting with 90 new hires all making well over 6 figures. Here are some of the colleges I heard that some of the trainees went to: IUP, Univ Central FLorida, Newberry, Oklahoma State, FSU.

NONE of those being anywhere close to academically prestigious. For the vast majority of careers, what college you went to will be if minimal help. Your alma mater may "open a door" for you, but who you are and your capabilities will dictate if you "stay in the room".

Perkis-Size Me

May 4th, 2015 at 9:55 PM ^

Just getting to leave and have a fresh start. I was tired of being around so many like-minded, and in some ways, closed-minded people, who were hellbent on living and staying in Florida for the rest of their lives. That, and I was never really seen as one of the "cool" kids. Seemed like, at the time, that so many of those kids were just having much more enjoyable lives than I was.

Going to college was a chance for me to re-invent myself. I haven't stepped foot in my high school since I graduated almost 8 years ago.




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M-jed

May 4th, 2015 at 9:55 PM ^

Being poor motivated me to do well and create opportunities. I hit a bad spell when not getting along with my parents but I realized i was only hurting myself.



Regarding geometry...I excelled in math before geometry yet struggled with the class. I got through it and went on to do well in multiple calc classes (a's) and an engineering degree. Help him get through geometry; it's not necessarily a harbinger of things to come.



Good luck.

gwkrlghl

May 4th, 2015 at 9:55 PM ^

  1. So my parents wouldnt murder me
  2. To further inflate my ego (prior to Physics 140 mercilessly crushing it)
  3. Also so I could be an engineer

Brhino

May 4th, 2015 at 9:58 PM ^

I grew up in Michigan but moved to Minnesota during my high school years.  My grades starting out were okay but not great.  My dad told me my grades were good enough for the Gophers but not for Michigan.  That did the trick.

samsoccer7

May 4th, 2015 at 9:59 PM ^

Motivated to get into Michigan and become a physician. I also had other smart friends growing up and many of my classes in high school ended up being advanced so there was plenty of that influence. I also innately wanted to do well and learned where and when I could slack off and where to put the pedal down and kick ass...

ThirdVanGundy

May 4th, 2015 at 10:00 PM ^

That were complete geniuses. Really. They always got a 4.0 and all three got over 33 on their ACT's. Two of them flunked out of MSU. Why? Because they didn't ever have to study or try hard. Everything came easy to them. So once they got to MSU where you actually have to try hard and study often they got left in the dust. So the situation you are in is not necessarilly a bad one. It's good for your kid to realize things aren't always going to be easy and he just has to fight through it. Hard workers normally get farther in life than people who just rely on talent alone.

Yostbound and Down

May 4th, 2015 at 10:37 PM ^

Not sure why they went to State either, but who knows. I think you'd have to at least consider MSU if they offer a good program in what you're studying compared to UM and also if they'd give you more scholarship money.

In regards to not trying hard biting people in the ass:

A. Again, State isn't that bad of a school, as much as we like to rip them here and as far as some (most?) of their programs lag behind Michigan. It's a Big Ten University. Not Southwest Jacksonville Southern or wherever.

B. Regardless of quality of school, if you go to a big one like MSU, you have people in your class who are going to be as/more competitive as you, which can tilt the grades in their favor over someone who's coasting

C. Transition to college is not easy for everyone *raises hand.

Wendyk5

May 4th, 2015 at 10:30 PM ^

I agree. It's taking him longer to learn that than I expected. I tried to tell him last year to expect to step up the work in high school. Good students embrace the process. It's not an imposition to do the work, it's a challenge and it can be very satisfying to set a goal and accomplish it, even if the work itself isn't the most interesting. 

dupont circle

May 5th, 2015 at 12:29 AM ^

Sounds like big fish, small pond, i.e. you're probably misremembering their ACT and their GPAs were inflated at a subpar public. There is no way this was a top ranked Michigan public school e.g., B Hills, Novi, Troy, Birmingham, Rochester, Grosse Pointe South. No BS, every middle of the pack kid from my high school raged their ass off at State and COASTED to a 3.6-4.0 GPA.

PS

There probably aren't more than a couple dozen 33+ ACTs at MSU.

UNCWolverine

May 4th, 2015 at 10:00 PM ^

I was always very competitive from day one, always wanted to both ace my test and be the first one done. So I did well in school before I realized that I had to in order to get into Michigan. But that revelation is what pretty much kept me on track in HS.

Math was always my favorite/best subject so I can't speak specifically about your child's situation. I can only imagine that if his father is on a michigan sports board then he probably feels quite a bit of pressure to get into Michigan. Maybe that pressure started to pile up the worse he did in Geometry.

As pointed out I would have him spend time with the teacher after school/class, do extra credit, etc. Also, if you are good at geometry and this I presume means a lot to you as well, maybe you can help him a few nights each week to help him better understand the subject matter?

samsoccer7

May 4th, 2015 at 10:39 PM ^

Second the "wanting to get done first" part too haha. I was almost always first. When I finished my med school tests I'd have the person taking the scantrons wondering if I skipped some pages or something. It was great...

But for Wendy, there were tough classes and teachers out there in high school through med school and even beyond. Part of being a good student is trying to understand what you can do to get around the barriers these teachers put up. Find common ground, learn and apply the things they specifically are teaching, and not be too stubborn to think whatever you've been doing until now will always continue to work, bc it doesn't and other smart people will eventually put you to shame if you don't advance or adjust.

Shop Smart Sho…

May 4th, 2015 at 10:52 PM ^

I had a friend that I always raced on standardized tests, going all the way back to 2nd grade.  We didn't realize until much later why the teachers got so mad at us that year, until we were informed that the tests in 2nd grade included the IQ test.  I ended up taking those stupid tests every year for the rest of elementary because they never believed I could score what I did in such a short time.

FA_Wolverine

May 4th, 2015 at 10:09 PM ^

School was school and I knew I needed to get a degree so I could be an Army Officer. So I got A's and B's and did my best. I seriously hate school but I had to do it to reach my goal. Now in a month I will commission! Just gotta reach down and find self motivation.

The Dirty Nil

May 4th, 2015 at 10:11 PM ^

I always did my homework right before class and graduated with a 3.7 and a 27 on my ACT. It had more to do with where I went to high school than anything else, but once I graduated I grew up a little bit and actually put forth some effort.

Gil From Omaha

May 4th, 2015 at 10:13 PM ^

I never want to disappoint my parents. My sister is headed to KU with a scholarship and a 33 on her ACT, my other sister is very smart with a 31 on her ACT. I don't want to be the kid that my parents are talking about my sisters and I'm the failure. Pride, and I want to make my momma proud.




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Bocheezu

May 4th, 2015 at 10:19 PM ^

Initially, in middle school, I used to feel that I didn't want to disappoint my dad, or I thought my dad would ground me if I got a B.  My dad was a very intense guy with an intimidating personallity.  This is what I often told my friends, as sort of an excuse, but it was not true at all.  My dad actually told me to lighten up at the end of high school and certainly in college.  So I wrongfully blamed him for a lot of the pressure for good grades, but in reality it was pressure I put on myself.

I remember getting a B in ninth grade (my only B in high school -- stupid English class); I almost had a nervous breakdown.  It wasn't competitive reasons or anything, I was just a perfectionist.  I guess I just didn't like getting Bs. 

Another important factor was that I also worked a job constantly in high school.  I turned 18 in November of my senior year, which meant I could work whatever hours I wanted.  I think I typically put in about 30-32 hours a week on top of going to school, which was not slave hours, but it meant that I couldn't screw around with homework and I had to get it done in a few hours on the weekend.  I don't know why I worked the job so much -- the money didn't even put a dent into college tuition.  I guess they just kept giving me hours and I didn't want to appear lazy, so I just kept taking them.  I worked every Friday and Saturday night that year -- I never went to a high school football game or prom.  I went to school on senior skip day.  

I had a weird fixation with working, I guess, and didn't care about being social.  There were no outside influences to deter me from working.

Shop Smart Sho…

May 4th, 2015 at 10:31 PM ^

Your working experience sounds like mine.  I worked the maximum hours allowable when I was a senior.  I generally did a shift after school on Friday, a double on Saturday, and then the lunch shift on Sunday.  I had pretty much checked out of school after the first couple of weeks of senior year because I was accepted early to GMI.  One of the worst decisions of my life.

dkush

May 4th, 2015 at 10:28 PM ^

The best thing you can do is be supportive and not meddle. At least personally, I'm a self-motivated person, I mean, I want to do well in school, and that's enough for me to work hard. I get the sense that if you kid got As and Bs in middle school, then he too is bright enough to want to do well. Unfortunately, theres not a whole lot you can do as a parent, it's just something that your kid has to figure out himself. Either way, freshman grades don't count for shit so tell him not to freak out.

Yostbound and Down

May 4th, 2015 at 10:43 PM ^

I was pretty much a straight A student for most of middle school and high school...only classes that gave me trouble were languages (Spanish and then German) and I got a 33 on the ACT heading into my senior year. I didn't really have a problem with motivation until after I knew I was going where I wanted to for college...senioritis then sunk in hard, coupled with taking calc which was the math wall for me and got me my first C. That unfortunately was pretty much a hangover into the first two years of college where I got fairly depressed and hovered around a 2.8 GPA... at a tough school, but it was still my fault for not trying harder. Life got better junior and senior year but I ended up with a job I don't love, and have been fairly restless since...girlfriend also dumped me right before graduation, which blew at the time (blessing in disguise now).

Now that I've been working for a few years I'm slowly getting back into motivating myself and figuring out my next steps in life. I'm going back for an MBA in the fall, and that has me excited to be in an academic environment and to be around other driven students...I think now I appreciate the variety and learning of the academic world compared to a professional environment. It's kinda the light at the end of the tunnel for me.

I found this great article a couple weeks ago:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/back-to-school/why-kids-need-to-fail-to-succeed-in-school/article4513436/

I consider myself in the "failing" portion of my life right now (sadly about 15 years later than it should have been) and now challenge myself to show grit and work my way out. You can have other people that mentor you, aid you and even challenge you but ultimately it does fall on your shoulders to get to where you want to go, because you have to decide to take their advice, or their pushing, or their help. 

For your son, good luck to him. I had a really tough geometry teacher that demanded excellence from us in working out proofs. Best math class I've taken and I did have to work pretty hard at it, went to teacher after class for questions, etc. If he can find a couple good friends to study with (note, not cheat off, that does no one any good) and work at the concepts together, he'll see the problems from a different angle (no pun intended). That was always my go-to when working on something I'm not great at, which for me was always science and math. 

mgoDAB

May 4th, 2015 at 10:31 PM ^

Freshman year of high school I got cut from the baseball team. From there I definitely have more effort with my grades because I had to be good at something I guess. But what really got me motivated was when I was watching a M football game with my dad (UM grad) and he asked, "You're gonna go to Michigan, right?" I guess I always thought I'd cruise through high school with a 3.5ish GPA and end up at State or Central. I know his question doesn't really seem like much, but it really got me thinking that if I really apply myself I could manage to be accepted. Through the process I grew in love with the idea of going to Michigan and my dad would take me to AA to give me yours and show me where he went to class. My passion for M grew even stronger and it was the only school I wanted to attend. I was never the smartest person so I knew I had to work my ass off and I did just that. And luckily my work ethic was strong enough to help me be accepted to Ross Business School. As a rising junior, I am so proud to go to UM and wear the block M, it's definitely worth all of the work!

Bando Calrissian

May 4th, 2015 at 10:32 PM ^

Getting into Michigan, because I didn't want to (and, indeed/stupidly didn't) apply anywhere else. My parents pushed me, but only in ways that reinforced that success was expected. I was raised on the Bo approach to things, really. There were rough patches, but I got there.




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Space Bat

May 4th, 2015 at 10:48 PM ^

I went to private schools all my life, and never had the motivation to excel. I'd say it was mostly due to me being smart enough to just skate by and do the bare minimum to get decent grades. I wanted to go to Michigan, but apparently not bad enough to work hard for it, since I got waitlisted and rejected. At the time I was disheartened because although I didn't have the grades to go, I knew peers that had worse grades than I did and got in easy (there's probably a few buildings around AA that have their families name's on them.) I also wasn't too fond of my highschool and most of my fellow classmates, which definitely didn't help motivate me to try hard.

Fast forward to mid-way through my undergrad and I was hating my business major and got really terrible grades one semester. The unhappiness coupled with me drinking quite a bit and not doing any studying was pretty horrible. I studied abroad that next semester, got awesome grades, and switched to political science after that. From then on, it wasn't so much that I had to be motivated to try hard, but I had found a subject which I genuinely cared about and enjoyed. I didn't see the work as studying- rather I wanted to learn as much as possible about politics and had some great professors along the way that I was able to get to know who pushed me. I graduate this Friday, and I am currently looking around the country for jobs with advocacy groups or basically anything remotely politcally related. 

The moral of the story for me is- don't sweat highschool and don't sweat not getting into your dream college. I count myself very fortunate to have had the ability to go to college period, and even luckier that I was able to find a major and a field that I am passionate about. Now, whether or not that passion will transform into a succesful career remains to be seen, but I wouldn't go back and change anything from my life. To me, its more important to find something that makes you happy and gets you excited rather than just a major or career that you slog through day in and day out just to make money. I really look forward to any interviews I may get, because for the first time in my life I'll be able to be completely genuine about why I want such and such a job, instead of pretending to be interested to get simply get hired and survive. I find that a lot of my friends that have already graduated with degrees they weren't all too excited about are now in jobs they hate- even if they are making decent money. That would be the biggest piece of advice I would offer anyone in highschool or just starting college. Do not pick a major or work toward something simply because you think it will pay well. There is so much more to life than money. Take many different classes in many different subjects, and try to find something that you are actually passionate about. 

Real Tackles Wear 77

May 4th, 2015 at 10:45 PM ^

This is a good question. In elementary and middle schools I was just naturally smarter than many of my classmates and got by without having to work hard. Freshman year, I realized how competitive and hard things could be. It took me that year to figure out how to study/prepare/work at a high school level. So I was placed in all regular level classes soph year, but knew exactly how to succeed in them, so I made all A's that year and moved up to honors levels. By junior year, I felt more in my element and began focusing on going to a good college. By senior year summer, I knew I really wanted to go to Michigan.

Yostbound and Down

May 4th, 2015 at 11:07 PM ^

Very interesting reading some of these posts and comparing/contrasting when school got tough (as it did for most of us). For me the leap from high school to college was extremely challenging and rough. From 8th grade to high school, I saw pretty much no difference. It sounds like you had the opposite experience.

I'm not a parent yet, but I think a huge part of parenting that I will emphasize to my future Yostbounders is understanding and dealing with failure (be it academically, socially, professionally) in a positive way. If you don't use disappointments as motivations or teaching tools, or if you allow them to dwell and influence other parts of your life.

Real Tackles Wear 77

May 4th, 2015 at 11:50 PM ^

Interestingly it was also geometry that defined the middle/high school difference for me. However, my reason was that my 9th grade geometry teacher was a 70-something guy in his last year of teaching before retirement. Since he had been in the school longer than most of the other teachers had even been alive, he got no pushback on his old-fashioned ways. For someone not naturally inclined to math in the first place, it was tough to have a class graded college-style (test scores were 100% of your grade) and if your homework wasn't done to his standards, you were kicked out of that day's lesson. It was miserable at the time, but I believe that class was the impetus for me to learn how to work at a level that eventually led me to where I wanted to be.

MichiganMAN47

May 4th, 2015 at 11:22 PM ^

Was very much an underachiever prior to reading it. It wasn't the only factor to motivating me, but it was a major catalyst.

Michigan Arrogance

May 4th, 2015 at 11:23 PM ^

I'm a teacher of math, physics and engineering so idk if this makes me more qualified or too biased to comment but...
I would be encouraged if I were you. He's obviously a smart kid who wants to do well. If he's interested in science and technology and math, don't be discouraged especially. In my experience ppl who traditionally excel in math, suddenly struggle in geometry and those who struggled through elementary and middle school math suddenly find geometry easier. It's a significantly different kind of problem solving- fewer equations and numbers, more pictures and proofs. More memorization. In addition, he is already a year a head as a 9th grader in geometry. He is likely still on track for AP cal car year should he "drop" to a standard level course. I'd make sure he preps for trig as best as possible tho, as many advanced geometry class begin a solid trig foundation at the end of the year to prep for trig in 10th grade.

The thing you don't want to fall in to is if he develops a "if I cant figure it out in 2 minutes, then it's too hard/not worth the time" routine. Some start this rut early, some in chem, or math or physics. Encourage him to expect tougher problems that require more analysis and more time, and that it's more rewarding to finish these courses. If it were easy, as they say, everyone would do it. And he getting to the point that not everyone goes this level of math (proofs, logic analysis, complex diagrams etc). If he wants to go into stem as a career, it's not going to be easy but that's why it's worth it in the long run. If it were easy, everyone would have an 60k/yr job out of College, with a 401k and insurance and a car and a decent house and 3-5 weeks paid vacation where you can afford to fly to Vegas/ wherever.

Find what he likes to learn about and read about and what he might want to be, and that should be the motivation. At some point he has to accept the challenge for himself and decide to enjoy the struggle. Maybe he just likes science/ math- maybe he wants that 60k+ job. 100k+? Maybe it's a family he can help support with a decent house in a nice place. Stay positive and make sure he knows that options open up with solid education and work ethic.




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Generic MGoBlogger

May 4th, 2015 at 11:40 PM ^

My goal has always been to attend a very strong university while minimizing my personal amount of debt (for the longest time it was UM, but it basically blew up in my face this year).  Luckily I have parents who pushed me from a young age and then kind of just let me do my own thing beginning in seventh or eighth grade.  At that point I was a highly motivated student who took enormous solace in high academic marks.  

I guess what really has pushed me as well is a lot of peer pressure.  I know it sounds odd, but my graduating class is highly competitive (over 75/350 have above 4.0 weighted GPAs), and because I thought academics were my thing, I always felt as if I needed to continually push myself to high limits in an academic sense.  As strange as it sounds, I guess stress, both personal and environmental, has been my primary motivator.  I'll be graduating this year in a class that has two valedictorians, both with weighted GPAs above 4.65, whereas only a couple years ago, our valedictorian had a 4.5 weighted GPA.  Personally, I'll graduate with a 4.48 weighted GPA, and although I didn't finish as a serious competitor for valedictorian, I did accomplish my goal.  I'll be attending Clemson University in their honors program with a scholarship value that nearly cuts the cost of attendance in half. 

So I guess the major takeaway is that a lot of my motivation has come from me personally.  I've never been too much of a social butterfly, so I have always been inclined to take a high number of AP and honors classes. But a lot of my motivation has come from personally and environmentally induced stress.

umichfutball

May 4th, 2015 at 11:52 PM ^

sometimes all you need is a kick in the ass to get you going. high school was easy. I finished at the average gpa and just above the average act of students Michigan accepts. freshman year killed me due to many things, and failing my first test really demoralized me. I took a year off and bounced around. Was told I was a failure, washed up, etc. just got back in this year to finish up my chemical engineering degree next year. remind him it's not the end of the world. build him back up and get him refocused. he'll be alright

Ricky from Sunnyvale

May 5th, 2015 at 12:14 AM ^

They should actually punish kids who do well in school with more homework. That would actually prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.



Getting girls naked motivated me, still does.