OT: A Board Divided Part 2

Submitted by 1464 on

Last summer I posted a series of questions meant to tear the board apart and further divided a very polarized fanbase.  From what I could discern, nobody lost any limbs - which made the whole experience a failure.  So I'll do what I can to provoke some sort of blood letting on the board.  What are your opinions on the following questions?

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?

2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?

3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?

4.  Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?

5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?

6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?

Njia

May 23rd, 2014 at 9:02 PM ^

I think it's pretty clear by now that you've failed on version 2.0, but I admire your attempt.

However, in the spirit of throwing in my $0.02:

1. Does the man know jujitsu?

2. The dentally challenged have been known to surprise by being revealed as the "millionaire-next-door"; could well be a donor and have the next campus expansion already in his will. Don't piss him off.

3. Paint that sucker maize and stuff an electronic music box inside that plays The Victors; market it as an incentive for Appy State ticket sales.

4. "Well..."

5. There has to be a way to spin the loss of other sports as a net positive, right?

6. You say "toe-may-toe", I say speak English, damn it.

XM - Mt 1822

May 23rd, 2014 at 10:30 PM ^

1.   cheetah loses, unless man is pussy

2.  we farm and have teeth, so we have a conflict of interest.  regardless, i choose farmers over stuffy dudes.

3.   a delicate dump, no guts, no glory.  probably sprays the bathroom so unless you watched him go in there you don't even know about it.

4.  opposite of #3, loud, laudatory grunts and high-fiving of self.  bathroom window must stay open, fan on, and no lit matches near that space for at least 30 minutes.

5.  i didn't get paid, so neither do they.  and stay off my lawn and out of my corn fields while you're at it, or i'll get one of the bulls to chase you.

6.  as has been said, they are 2 different things, so now you know.

fluidlike

May 23rd, 2014 at 11:25 PM ^

Ever tried to kill a cat with your bare hands? Let alone a wild Cheetah. Watched my brother try it once cause it wouldn't stop pissing and shitting in his garden. The cat didn't die that night.

jdon

May 23rd, 2014 at 11:37 PM ^

forgetting all the fluff:

 

If hoke doesn't win this year he should be canned... but I think we will win this year.

Schools shouldn't pay athletes.  Student athletes should be allowed to do commercials or make money for signing autographs... they should also be encouraged to purchase their own health insurance and/or insure themselves....

college coaches shouldn't be allowed to make more than 250K a year, accross the board; if they are in it for the money let them go pro....

jdon

 

jdon

May 23rd, 2014 at 11:52 PM ^

hoke is like the perfect figure head for a college football program... sadly I don't think he can actually draw up plays, formulate a defense/offense, or outsmart a high school football coach.

I just hope Nuss is the answer and life goes on...

honestly I think we win ten games this year.  And not a single one is because of Hoke's coaching..

jdon

 

UMSwoosh

May 24th, 2014 at 6:51 AM ^

1. Yes, it's one of the ways Nick Saban whittles down his roster. 

2.  Dave Brandon is sitting on your toilet right now in disbelief that these arent the same fan. 

3. He won't leave the bathroom for you to find out. He is staring at the toilet in amaizment, act of god or marketing genius? He doesn't remember eating corn recently. 

4.  the other hand, Brady has been eating corn for two years straight and none of that golden hued goodness seems to be happening. 

5. You pay the man! 

6. First of all, there is a place outside of Michigan? What is this place called? Canada? Second of all "Catty Corner" is a used car lot in Detroit where I buy most of my cars. Whereas "Kitty Corner" is where the Tigers used to play, Michigan and Trumbull. 

MGoBlueFan90

May 24th, 2014 at 9:18 AM ^

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?

Yes

2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?

First

3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?

Marketing

4. Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?

Smells like a winner

5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?

Mixed feelings, but I certainly support ALL UM sports

6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?

Haven't had issues honestly

Y0ST

May 24th, 2014 at 11:31 AM ^

1. yes but its unlikely.
2. people who own walmart stock are as much a part of the problem as people who shop at walmart.
3. everybody's shit stinks.
4. see #3
5. the already get paid... see your student loan balance.
6. kitty, always kitty.

Sports

May 24th, 2014 at 1:30 PM ^

1) Yes. No elaboration necessary.

2) Neither. The rabid fans that have no ties to the school and are vicious in their proclamations of superiority to others (typically small children) that happen to support State or OSU because their parents or older siblings went there. 

3) Well 1484, I'm going to take you on a wild loop of cosmic thought here. What if we could market Dave Brandon's shit? -Mind Explodes-. THAT'S RIGHT. We in the American health system have determined, via rigorous trial and error, that the best solution to cure a profoundly sick populace is to demand large and unreasonable sums of money from them. There has to be an enzyme or protein within Brandon's DNA that represents the perfected form of this ideal. Perhaps we could market it to Pfizer. 

4) I wouldn't enter the bathroom, for fear of the unprecedented destruction that I'm assuming would have been visited on it. It's common knowledge that Brady Hoke is 12% iron, 34% Nasanex, and 54% beef stroganoff. I don't want to see the end product. 

5) Nope. 

6) Kitty corner. Those who say otherwise should be drawn and quartered at dawn.